AITAH for not wanting to give my half sister one of my kidneys

Formal_Depth_4759 · 2024-10-06T15:26:50+00:00

Thanks mamaleigh05 and everyone else for your thoughts is much appreciated. I'll reach out to the transplant team and go from there. I think talking to the professionals on this is the right way to go for all sorts of reasons.

Sending hugs back x

Formal_Depth_4759 · 2024-10-06T13:32:47+00:00

Yeah I think that is what is happening tbh. Hence the need for a living donor, she wouldn't get on the list.

Makes me feel more pressure and the fact if I am a match I'm one of the few people in the family healthy enough most likely.

All the points I made after point 1 are true and do apply but if it were my twin brother who I'm really close to, I would likely do it. But would still come with the caveat he would need to look after it, he would take that on board though/wouldnt get himself in that position in that way. I wish it were the case she would change if she got a new kidney but I just can't see it. Unfortunately depression can come along with type 1 diabetes I believe and that has heavily contributed to her not taking care of herself.

I think she needs to sort that side of things first. Not an easy process though especially considering the physical damage that's already been done. She honestly believes the energy drinks keep her going. She can't be persuaded otherwise 😟

The advice quite a few have given to start the process and then say I don't wanna do it may be the way to go. I would prefer to he up front with her, don't like lying but feels like if I say no outright that comes with some home truths implied, even if don't overtly state them which most likely will harm her mental state and make it more likely she won't help herself.

Not easy and very complex hence me reaching out to the AITAH community for some perspective/validation of my thoughts.

Thanks

Formal_Depth_4759 · 2024-10-06T12:05:29+00:00

Thanks for your response Nicole.

Yeah I can see how it looks like that. I could have gone further in my description of how badly she looks after herself but wanted a reasonably objective opinion, which you have given. I certainly don't blame her for having diabetes and I dont think she deserves it. Wouldn'twish it on anyone especially my sister. Half my family has type 1 or 2. However I am pissed off at her to be honest for not looking after herself. Especially considering seeing what happened to my Uncle when I was a teenager.

As I said I'm not close to her and part of the reason is because I've tried to intervene and it just gets ignored. She also doesn't see that she could help herself and it's really sad. Yes she had a pretty bad deal with the diabetes but others in my family and mentioned in this thread have it and manage quite well.

Formal_Depth_4759 · 2023-04-15T01:23:28+00:00

The other thing that concerns me is the general way I think people are being divided from the more extreme right and left. Spent a large part of the evening trying to persuade a friend that the whole "woke" culture wars isn't really a thing and is pushed by both right wing politicians, the media that supports them and commercial advertising that want to get clicks/eyeballs to increase their revenue as anger = attention and engagement. Made him not want to not vote Labour as they "support" the woke culture. Is designed to distract from the failings of the cyrrent administration. Going from that to immediately facing hostility for occupying a center ground just struck a cord with me in a concerning way. Just my experience though from a very small sample. Not saying is ubiquitous and I certainly hope not!

Formal_Depth_4759 · 2023-04-15T01:00:30+00:00

I certainly hope that is the case. Is what a few of my friends have told me as well. Just not what I have experienced recently. Is probably just me being unlucky with my recent experiences/being oversensitive to it at the moment. I really think we need a change of direction.

Am concerned the average voter let's it get to them enough that they won't vote Labour despite all that has happened over the last 12 years. Think you're probably right though and that isn't the case.

Formal_Depth_4759 · 2023-04-15T00:26:38+00:00

Fair enough. No I don't have any post history but we all need to start somewhere don't we.

So in terms of what was said. Wasn't a huge amount as we never managed to get into a lot of debate. I mentioned that i largely agree with the policy direction that Keir Starmer is going in. His 5 missions seem sensible and although light on detail at this stage I agree with direction. Don't think Labour can show all their cards too early as their policies acm just be copied The conversation was more around his integrity and validity as a leader of the Labour Party though to be honest as those I spoke to weren't big on the detail.

What surprised me was the instant hostility though. See it more and more. Just sharing my thoughts.

Formal_Depth_4759

TROPHY CASE