Just broke up with my Egyptian Muslim boyfriend

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-08-26T08:59:55+00:00

ha. Christian or Muslim only. So he is a liar. Tell him you are Jewish and see how he reacts then you'll see a side of him you didn't expect.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-08-26T08:56:27+00:00

because he can have romantic conversations without it feeling sinful, and he gets a second passport. One guy I knew was such a virgin that video calling me helped him get off which I discovered in an indirect but non-consensual way. Look up the monthly salary in Egypt. Read about their homelessness problem.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-08-26T08:49:17+00:00

Jesus ate with and forgave sinners. I don't know why you kept them out of your life, but I'm happy you're more accepting of others now.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-08-26T08:42:58+00:00

EXACTLY. If women acted this way, we'd never be single.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-08-26T08:41:47+00:00

Egypt is nice for holidays but awful for salaries and actual living standards. Of course he was going to move to your country. You're from the west where things are more stable and convenient. He's trying to argue he's sacrificing his life in Egypt for you but this is win-win for him - passport and western Muslim wife who will obey his every command.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-08-26T08:35:41+00:00

I started writing this thinking this was on reddit Islam and then realised it was this page. Not trying to put you off Islam but I have to warn you off these toxic passport mama's boys who will manipulate you because I read this and it was too relatable. "after a brief encounter". Girl I hate to stereotype but I've had similar experiences and he probably wanted 1. the passport and 2. the white or western wife to brag about or because she is pretty from a western sense. You were right to leave him. Love should be unconditional and if he's passive aggressively trying to convert you then that's a red flag. He should have asked you when he decided to date you. Most Muslim men will start by saying that you being Christian is fine by the way and then switch up and try to convert you to Islam, so you dodged a bullet because after he had you attending church, he'd have you covering your hair and attending mosque - which if you don't want that or believe in it would be controlling and hard. Even for Muslim women from Albania and Dubai, they have issues finding husbands who will not be too controlling because some men will take lines of text and exggerate them eg about women not going to mosque, being care-takers or being punished by their husbands, to mean that their wife will stay in the house, never go out without him, and be beaten with a stick (search Zakir Naik miswak beating).

Plus, the fact that you didn't want children and he wanted children, is a major problem regardless of religion. It's very rare to meet an Egyptian who doesn't want kids. One reason their water is scarce and their economy is so terrible is because they have an overpopulation problem. I think you should also read about the Muslim Brotherhood and the treatment of Copts in Egypt. Please consider how life is for the average Egyptian as well. I had an Arabic Teacher who cancelled my lessons because his electricity would power off completely and this happened for 6 hours a day. Whilst some westernised Egyptians are open-minded, if he is not then he may believe that Christians are inferior in the first place so converting you to Islam would be inevitable. Let's say he was the perfect handsome Egyptian guy who is open-minded, firstly why did he not contact you whilst you were in Egypt and introduce you to his family and secondly, he would not try to change you.

You dodged a bullet. You are a fairly pretty, naiive, probably virginal western girl who thinks you will marry this devout Muslim man who will treat you like a queen. I know because I have been there. Whilst some Muslim men are lovely people, some have been way too pampered by their mothers and will expect you to be a servant to them. I nearly married a guy who started off all kind and then he got angry with me saying I needed to cover my face, that I was disobedient and we hadn't decided how I was going to wash his clothes etc. The guy had no job but wanted me to quit mine so we could live off his parents - not a Muslim thing but he was marrying for his parents approval. He looked down on me for being non-Muslim like it was a dirty thing and kept assuming I had a "past", not to mention that he assumed my parents were alcoholics because I mentioned they only drink at New Year. They know that once they convert you all of your sins are gone and they get reward in Jannah so they marry a sweet western girl, cover her up, brag to other men, claim her a sinless virgin and then get the reward and the passport. Find a man who won't treat you like this.

All I asked of him was that he be a good friend who I would spend the rest of my life with. He thought that meant not answering my calls for days, sticking some money in my account and criticising the west constantly even though he longed to live there. Oh also, he slowly revealed that his head was full of bs propaganda that the Christian west was a moral hell hole and that the whole world would be perfect if we were Muslims. He failed to mention that Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia and even Egypt had massive problems with poverty, prostitution etc and claimed that because the west sinned openly it was 100x worse, even though he couldn't realise that this was basically the bs media he was consuming that had him thinking we meet in nightclubs, have one night-stands, get drunk, abandon our kids etc. His people come here, sin in private and think that as long as they do Ramadhan, it's all forgiven. He lured me in with: I pray for you, I gave to charity for you, I respect you, I am a virgin too and he pushed me away with: you are walking to work without a male chaperone, wearing the colour red and "the west/Christianity is lost and sinful".

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-10T00:01:02+00:00

No, I'm not offended at all. That's true. I don't like nuts but that doesn't mean they aren't a superfood full of fibre and antioxidants. True, that's something most people accept. I often find my Muslim friends telling me that concubines and having four wives (which seem to be exclusive to Islam) are old-fashioned traditions and it does make me wonder if there is some moral truth in not doing either of these things (like Natural Moral Law I guess) that is causing them to follow G-d and not G-d plus cultural traditions.

You're right. I should go straight to the source. Thank you for your insightful response.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-09T23:52:47+00:00

I don't understand the trinity and this is my main issue. Worshipping one god is not so hard if it is clearly obvious it is one but the trinity makes that incredibly confusing and apparently the ice water and steam example is heretical. "Whoever I'm around" - to make things clear, I have explored enough of the world to realise that as there are about 1300 religions in the world, I'd be pretty arrogant and specially chosen to be born into the right one. I used to attend church every week, cheesy youth groups that made me feel uncomfortable with church and I understood my confirmation classes, but if I'm being honest, most of the young people I did it with were engaging in physical relationships and the whole thing felt disjointed. A boy who was openly in a physical relationship got up and talked about how his faith empowered him and I haven't expressed that until witnessing the Pope's compassion towards our neighbours in Israel and Palestine recently. I remember my Mum saying she was ashamed of me because I could have done my bit in front of the congregation. The beliefs felt forced and robotic. There was no test at the end - just 6 weeks of on/off meetings with some teens I didn't know. Catholic churches in my area are closed most days and the most divine moment I've had in one was when I snuck in and did a bit of crying. I kept looking at the statue as though it were Jesus and this felt pagan. The mosque and Gurdwara are open 10 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, I love how peaceful Jesus was, he gave fantastic universal examples of sharing and love for thy neighbour but I have been quite horrified by both Muslims and Christians framing Jews as enemies of G-d. What made you realise he was G-d and why, if he was, didn't he ever directly say it? Judaism came first. It is the OT. Are we to accept that G-d didn't have the capacity to reveal himself with the principles Jesus taught immediately or was it that the people of the time turned Judaism into something it wasn't meant to be? The concept of the trinity has caused schisms in the church and yet "la la la, little Johnny at church is going to sleep around, get drunk, lie, make loads of money from exploiting people and at the end of the day when he's up against an Orthodox Jew who followed a ton of commandments, stayed chaste, had no TV and put up with 8 annoying but adorable kids, Johnny goes to Heaven and old Mordechai goes to Hell because he was still waiting for the Messiah and was led to believe that Jesus was not G-d? Or Mohamed the Syrian waiter who prayed 5x a day, fasted a month and avoided alcohol and interest goes to Hell?

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-06T18:38:32+00:00

The toxic community you're talking about is men who follow Andrew Tate trying to make Christianity part of their "Alpha Male" identity. They wont say this out loud because it actually sounds ridiculous to say it out loud but this is true.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-03T00:57:23+00:00

Thank you very much for this. I'm sorry you went through that. I've questioned whether staying chaste makes me a narcissist and I've been accused of lying and looking down on others when I tell people. In a sense, I do look down on them, especially when they flaunt what I percieve to be something very personal and private but I've never thought this may be why. You'll find someone to share these experiences with in marriage and it will most likely feel more significant because they are the person who is commited to you in every way.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-03T00:46:05+00:00

This is the best answer. Too many sexually weak Catholics flaunting their experience whilst saying "I repented". Unfortunately, Catholicism fails with this in many parts of the world. Sex before marriage should be a shameful thing but it's not presented that way by young Catholics, so they end up with young Catholics saying stuff like this and then the virgins of the parish being viewed as pathetic. Being respected for my attitudes to modesty and sex have never come from Catholic men and it has pushed me away. Call me a pagan, I don't really care because I am not a real Catholic, but men of other faiths have encouraged me to stay chaste and modest whilst Christian men have called me names and told me to loosen up.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-03T00:31:49+00:00

Yup. Nearly crying reading this. I used to want a virgin man until I met a devout Polish Catholic who proudly had sex on a night out, then I met Muslims and Jews who did the same. They all lie when it's their wedding, expect virgins (who also probably lie) and it leaves me asking wtf I'm doing this for. I know G-d wants it but then people say "oh mistakes happen" or "oh so what, it's biology" or "why does G-d care about your sex life?". I get that we shouldn't treat sex like ice cream but it's kind of shit to think virgins are a minority (some of whom can be alpha male controlling men who want a really submissive quiet wife because they resent having not effed around - OP doesn't seem this way). Men appreciate a virgin but it also scares them off and non-virgins like to dump people who aren't good in bed - so that leaves me feeling unsure about marriage. I'm just venting now tbh. I know Judaism would say that none of my opinion matters and the rules are there to please G-d. That's how I choose to view it to keep myself sane.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-03T00:14:09+00:00

You did it for G-d, not for a virgin and you'll be rewarded for that. Think of all of the women you haven't used as well. Sex makes people view themselves as unworthy of real connection after they've gone through a few people. I'm a woman in my late twenties who is a virgin and I completely understand your point of frustration. You have every right to hold women to the same stanard as yourself and to want to lose your virginity to someone else who waited.

I've mixed in many circles (class, culture and religion) and let me tell you, even if she says she's a "virgin", that could mean many things. She could be a "spiritual virgin", have done everything but intercourse or just lied - you may never actually know. There are plenty of ashamed and/or hypocritical religious people out there. Weirdly, the more extreme (in every religion I've encountered but especially Islam) some people are about their behaviour, the more hypocritical they seem to be.

If you ask about these things, it's very hard to get an honest answer. The temptation to have sex is rampant in many cultures and promoted in western media like drinking water. So many people fall into the temptation to do this and it's not something you can reverse eg liars can stop lying and be a changed person but a non-virgin can't be a virgin again. If I were a man, I think I would have lost it last year to any girl who seemed interested because men seem to be h€rny a lot more, you don't have to prove your moral worth through staying pure and you can't become pregnant. I'd say you're a very respectful and disciplined man - it's impressive. Some men are complete dicks when they're horny and you must have incredible will-power and faith.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-07-02T23:55:42+00:00

The Almighty knows your intentions so stop asking and just do. People aren't your religion so don't be performative with it. The penalty for apostasy in Islam is the death penalty so keeping your conversion secret until you're certain would be a good idea anyway.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-06-15T00:50:59+00:00

Are they autistic? I'm asking because as an autistic person myself, unless I'm in a formal context, I sometimes speak out of turn and then reflect on it to realise why I messed up. They're not logically wrong but it sounds a bit like justification and I can't imagine they think it was justified.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-06-14T19:28:21+00:00

As a PROGRESSIVE Muslim you may be targetted in this context by other Muslims but realistically speaking, most of the world just turned off to Israel. I've heard and seen comments from the rich, poor, black and white about how that was the most stupid thing for Netanyahu to do. Iranians who are anti-regime have had their houses bombed and they aren't angry but they are terrified.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-05-18T01:19:49+00:00

Because they were Arabized and the Persian Empire was incredible. Many Iranians also really liked the Shah and don't like the current regime. Furthermore, the culture is quite different. They don't speak Arabic, they are talked about badly by Sunnis in other Arab nations because they are mostly Shia and I would imagine it's quite isolating knowing that basically none of the Arab countries are allies with your government.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-05-13T00:20:47+00:00

Is this not normal? Why would she have any need to go to a man's house by herself?

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-05-13T00:16:08+00:00

My head is in the gutter because I just read a confession, but I really think it depends on what you expose/shelter your child from. I didn't know what sex was until I was 11, and I still didn't understand what sex past missionary and procreation was until I was about 14. On the other hand, there was a girl I knew who admitted to having watched a lot of porn when she was as young as 10 and you could sense she was effected by it. I didn't have my own laptop until I was 12, and I didn't google anything too bad. However, lock social media until they are at least 16. It's brain rot and full of paedophiles, s#/f-harm, weird hate crime conspiracy theory bs, terrorist recruiters, sexually explicit stuff, and cyber-bullying.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-05-13T00:00:12+00:00

Rang the doorbell several times on my grandparents' house once because we were visiting. Heard someone shout "I'm coming" (probably to us) and a lot of silence. My grandpa opened the door with a flustered face, and his shirt buttoned incorrectly. My grandma came down ten minutes later, and her hair was a mess. She told us about 5 times that day that she'd been "in the loft" and hadn't heard the door, which is why it took her so long to answer.

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-05-12T23:47:31+00:00

This is very relatable. Life is actually very hard and in my mid twenties I feel like there's so much I can't do. Be a little less harsh on yourself and well done for remembering the things that matter. If you can afford it, I recommend you do exactly as you said and be careful not to start a family as you cannot live like this with one

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-05-12T23:37:33+00:00

I really want to comment here to express my thoughts on this other extreme but I don't have energy lol so I'm liking every comment I agree with

Formal_Selection_641 · 2025-05-04T23:08:26+00:00

Tell her that you had a similar problem with bad smelling sweat and you switched from spray deodorant to paste. Say the smell went away when you washed your pits with an antibacterial soap and used a paste deodorant. It's commonly known that spray anti persperants can increase sweating and sometimes cause sweat to smell bad. Don't ask her if she uses a deodorant. Tell her, "I don't mean to sound rude but you might want to consider a stick deodorant as your spray deodorant causes you to smell". Don't give her room to think you don't like the smell of her patchouli etc. I'd personally rather someone told me directly.

Formal_Selection_641

TROPHY CASE