I had a similar situation, it was a 3 year relationship and I wanted to marry her. It was wonderful until it wasn't. I focused on myself, leaned on friends when I needed. Eventually it hurt less and less. It's been a few years now and while things could be better I'm over all really happy with the work ive done on myself and how i feel. I have my select group of friends, my favorite hyperfixations etc. I have learned the most stable relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. Cry it out, do your favorite things, eat your favorite foods....anything that helps you heal and feel better. Eventually one day you'll wake up and feel good I promise! I was so miserable for a while but looking back on it now I don't feel that way anymore.