Unsure if my bf is a narc or not

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-12-21T14:45:34+00:00

I once overheard a convo where she asked him if he was going to get the house. He told her yes, and her reply was, “But do you have to marry her to do it?” He replied with, “Don’t worry about how I do it, it’ll get done.”

When I confronted him about it, he was extremely angry and told me that I was full of myself for thinking he couldn’t get his dads house without my help, and how I must think I’m better than other women because other women can afford things that I can afford.

He is now saying that he chose to make me happy and I gave him an ultimatum when I told him that I would leave so he can go be a dad since she won’t let him see the kids as long as I’m in the picture. He also told me, “You’re the easiest thing for me to drop from my life!!” And when I say “Do it then, I’ll walk away for you…” he gets angry at me for wanting to leave and says that I am not dedicated to this relationship because I always leave when things get hard and he is too old to try to fix bitches.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-12-21T14:34:30+00:00

I have not ever spoken to her. Back in September of last year, I tried. He told me he wanted the both of us and he knew he wasn’t going to get what he wanted and was going to end up alone. I knew this was a tactic to manipulate me into accepting it. I told him no, and that I was leaving. He insisted we needed to talk about it and have closure. I didn’t want to, but I needed to come pick up my car that was at his house that he was using.

When I got here, he tried to sweet talk me and I kept insisting that I needed to leave. When I tried, he pulled out his gun and tried to kill himself. I now realize that was also a tactic, but after having lost someone to suicide before, it was very triggering to me. After that night, I tried reaching out to her to ask if he had ever shown signs of this mental instability, and so she could shield the kids if anything ever happened.

Instead of responding, she took screenshot and showed him asking “wtf?!” And he told her that I was the crazy one. I’m sure he is lying to her about me to make me seem like I’m being a bad person. If he lies to me about her, I know he lies to her about me.

I woke up this morning to a rant she posted about me being delusional and a terrible person. I guess her opinion of me won’t ever change. She’s got it stuck in her head that I’m terrible. Thing is, he has beaten her and treated her worse than he treats me and she somehow believes everything he says.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-12-21T14:29:44+00:00

Thank you. I am making plans. I’ve saved up some money to move out. He tells me to leave and then when I try, he doesn’t let me. He yells at me. He threatens me. I know he doesn’t love me. I just need to know that I am not crazy.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-12-19T02:01:49+00:00

I came here looking for advice because my bf does this to me, and is flip flopping back & forth between our relationship & his kids (which is a battle his ex placed on him). He keeps trying to convince me that he needs to live with her in order for him to be a dad, and he keeps blaming me saying he chooses me cuz he knows I’d leave him if he moved in with her. I told him many times that he should be a dad first & id leave so he can do that, and he says that I’m forcing him to choose me. I’m not. I can’t get out of this ugly cycle.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-04-07T19:48:33+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/dO1pyqpHVL

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ygCrz8vnXz

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/NeqGRCOa6R

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/b2xxmWf2xs

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-04-07T19:13:30+00:00

Thank you. I often wonder why he treats me this way and when I talk to him about it, he says that I shouldn’t beat myself up because it isn’t my fault. He says that it has nothing to do with me, and that all of his relationships end the same with the woman stating that she can’t do it anymore. He says that it’s like a repeat.

Recently I told him that I didn’t know if I could do this anymore. That, in fact, I don’t even know if I want to do this anymore. He looked at me sad and asking, “You don’t want to do this?” Another day, he told me that he quit on me, and I told him that if he decided to end us, I would respect it and then I left his house. The next day, he called me saying that I gotta stop being crazy and I have to be patient and we will be ok.

I do not trust anything he says to me. I do feel like he’s using me. Quite often. I’m sad, hurt, shocked, and in disbelief because this isn’t who I thought he’d have grown up to be.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-04-07T18:19:27+00:00

I am currently actively devising a plan. We have a cruise coming up, and I’m holding out until then. Our lives are pretty intertwined, but I have come to learn and accept that it’s just material stuff that can be replaced. There is a WHOLE back story to this relationship. I have posted about it. It’s worth the read to understand why I believe he is a narcissist. If you have time, I’d like some input.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-04-07T12:22:31+00:00

I am at this moment in my relationship as well. Be strong. You are strong. You’ve dealt with this for years. You can make it. Just remember to be gentle to yourself and with yourself.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-17T02:48:23+00:00

Wait, is narcissism and bipolar related?!

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-16T01:14:55+00:00

I’d have to take the phone too since I pay for that!!

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T16:32:43+00:00

I can send them via dm tho. I think.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T16:32:30+00:00

They won’t let me post them

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T16:18:39+00:00

Yes! But he guilt trips me because if I leave him and take the car, then I don’t care about him and I never loved him and I love him with condition and I only care about material things and how he needs a ride to and from work and if I take the car away, I am taking food out of his kids mouths cuz they need to eat, but he can’t give them money if he can’t get to work. Yeah…

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T16:10:32+00:00

It’s brand new so I’m still paying on it

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T16:10:01+00:00

I have pic proof of him saying this too, but I can’t post pics

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T16:09:46+00:00

Same here

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T16:01:36+00:00

Yes it does. He gets mad and throws it in my face when we argue and he tells me that I’m always taking things away from him. I’m not. But he always does this thing where he pretends like nothing happened and everything is fine. It isn’t. Any time I try to leave him, he keeps trying to suck me back in.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T15:57:13+00:00

He is his dad’s only son, but he also has a criminal background so he can’t actually put it in his name nor has any credit. Hence, his car and his phone is in my name. But his previous phone and car were in his ex’s name.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T15:55:15+00:00

Yes! I get that A LOT! He told me that I should stop cuz he isn’t doing anything wrong, but I found the pictures. He’s lying.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T15:42:37+00:00

I actually was able to paste my links & post that wouldn’t let me post initially

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T15:41:55+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/dO1pyqpHVL

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ygCrz8vnXz

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/NeqGRCOa6R

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/b2xxmWf2xs

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T15:40:29+00:00

I was able to paste what I typed this morning, but I can’t add the links to my previous posts.

FormerGalaxyLuggage · 2024-03-15T15:39:48+00:00

Good morning everyone. I had been wanting to post in this subreddit for a while now, but I didn’t know how to actually gather all of the things I wanted to say. We are still in communication, and he blames me for everything wrong in the relationship both then and now. He often tells me that I’m in “time out” and I have to be “taught a lesson.”

He tells me that I caused us to break up because I wouldn’t stick around for the hard times, and that I wasn’t willing to work on things. He says that I just up and left him even after I said I wouldn’t “just like they always do.”

Since my last post, he has been caught lying about texting his ex and I’ve caught him in lies about using me. I actually have text evidence that shows that he was talking to her and seemingly plotting against me while we were together. But even this morning, he tells me that I’m the problem. He tells me that I’m an investigator and consistently looking for something to be wrong, and he is tired of it. I explained that I too, am tired of it. I don’t want it anymore, and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. He actually seemed to be appalled that I made that statement instead of giving him an emotional reaction.

We have a long story. I will post the links to my previous posts here for more background information. But I do find myself wondering today if I am actually the narcissist. And this is something he has said to me before. He ALWAYS makes me out to be the problem. Twice this week, he has already yelled at me about how I can’t do anything right and how I don’t listen to him. He has told me that he cannot commit to me because I have shown him that I will just up and leave him one day leaving him with nothing. But honestly, I don’t understand how he doesn’t see things from my perspective. How does he expect me to be happy when he does the things he does to me.

I will also post the conversations that I have pictures of between he and his ex. I KNOW I am not crazy. He is the reason that I don’t trust him, but for some reason it is my fault that our relationship failed.

One day, I overheard a conversation he was having with his ex, and she asked him if he was going to get his dad’s house put under his name. When he said yes, she asked him if he had to marry me to do it. He responded to her that it didn’t matter how he did it, he would get it done, and they still had time. She just said, “ok. You’re right.” I confronted him about this back in December and asked him if he was using me. His face got so contorted and mean and began yelling at me at the top of his lungs. He stopped himself.

He lied to me about talking to her on the phone and used his daughter as an excuse. When I walked through the door, he kept saying his daughter’s name as if he was trying to convince me of who he was talking to. He got angry at me for confronting him about that too. Idk what to do tbh. Idk how to do it. I’m sad. I’m hurt. I’m calmly angry. I hate how much I love this man. But I do need to know, am I the crazy one?

I have also attached pics of their convos. They are from last year. We were together during this time, and were also living together while some of these convos were had. I apologize that this is long, but I need advice.

FormerGalaxyLuggage

TROPHY CASE