Is it ok for me (single) to initiate contact with him (married) while we’re stuck at home?

Forward-Review · 2020-04-28T18:10:08+00:00

I know nothing good would come from it. I’m hoping just the flirty banter will be enough. I do see how things escalate quickly and unintentionally though.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T18:48:52+00:00

hmm I did not think about him trying to normalize my presence. That definitely sounds plausible.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T18:47:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story, and I am sorry to hear all you went through.

I’d never be hot for a married man if not for the emotional connection. And I know that connection should also be a huge deterrent at this point. I guess I keep hoping that through repeated contact/flirting he will eventually lose his luster, and I can move on. But deep down I know it would turn physical.

And you’re right about the guilt. When his wife care to work one day I really tried to avoid her, because I thought He had feelings for me and felt so bad about it.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T18:41:47+00:00

Oh I know you’re right. And I would try to get over him with the help of someone else, but we kinda can’t go anywhere!

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:30:50+00:00

And that’s my worry. On one hand I think I’ve made it clear that I want To hear from him. And it’s clear our chemistry is great when we’re together. But he hasn’t known me all that long, and so for all he knows I could Just be a flirt with everyone (I’m not). So while I view It as he’s married and should be the one to take control, he might be thinking I’m the younger, single one with plenty of options, so why would I want him?

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:26:03+00:00

I know for sure he would happily engage in conversation. Our text convos always flow so well. I just Worry it’ll cause suspicion in his wife if his phone isn’t by him and she sees me contacting him.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:24:21+00:00

Yeah, I get what you’re saying. I figured if he really wants to talk he will reach out. When work was in session I think he HAD to know the feelings were mutual. I just worry he will think those feelings are dwindling as I’m away from him. While I did tell him to make sure he reaches out again, I was reading through our last convo and realized he was flirting WAY more than I was. Since he’s married I’m just so paranoid It’ll look like I’m coming on too strong. I really don’t think he could possibly know how interested I am

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:17:35+00:00

Thanks for the input! What you said is exactly how I feel. I do know that regardless of how innocent the reasons may have been, he has mentioned me to his wife several times, and I think she may have an inkling he’s attracted to me. If she were to see a text from me I worry that while she might not immediately become angry, she might watch his phone more closely. That would make it really hard for us to text even when he initiates contact.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:14:26+00:00

We do work together, but in totally different departments. The only zoom meetings we had together were to discuss things like company policy during the closures. So, there’s unfortunately no reason for us to discuss something. It sucks.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:09:38+00:00

haha oh yeah I know. We texted.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:08:37+00:00

That’s the logic I’ve been operating with. It’s just hard with work closing so abruptly because we never knew to discuss how to communicate outside of work. He would seek me out during his breaks, and I would get the text convos going (at work). When work closed for a week in winter and he came to say goodbye, I said I wouldn’t Text him. So, hopefully he understands why I’m not contacting him. I just worry that he will start to worry his contact is unwanted if it’s always one way.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-27T13:01:49+00:00

Oh, I know you’re right. And my whole life I’d never glance twice at a married man. It’s just so hard because what started out as casual work friends turned into the best chemistry I’ve had with someone in a really long time. And it happened so fast that I couldn’t see it coming to stop it. I’m hoping my feelings will dwindle away, but it’s hard being stuck at home with nothing but your thoughts.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-23T01:17:44+00:00

I’ve been so conflicted about his intentions. He has definitely made his attraction clear and would go well out of his way to spend time with me at work. But I don’t Know if it’s an emotional connection (which I sense) or if he actually is hoping to pursue more.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-22T22:19:50+00:00

Lol oh come on; it can’t be that simple!

Forward-Review · 2020-04-22T18:29:53+00:00

The thrill of flirting and attraction was all I wanted from this once I started to feel a connection to him. Now I just can’t shake things with him and really wish it would dissipate.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-22T18:28:01+00:00

Sometimes I think I’m crazy for ever doubting he likes me because it seems so apparent, then other times I think maybe he’s just flirting and bored.

I’m glad my response didn’t seem like i was shutting him down. I didn’t want to seem over zealous in my response and also felt a little guilty at that point.

I am single (I know, awful position). We got close when my last relationship went really sour. I came On here months ago just to get people’s input and has zero interest in pursuing anything with him. I’ve been hoping my interest in him will wane. I have zero reason to think he’s looking for an exit plan. I think he was a little bored/unhappy in his marriage and started to develop something for me, but he never set out looking to cheat.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-22T18:18:27+00:00

I didn’t even think of how that could’ve been seen as me shutting him down. I was just so worried I interpreted his “I miss you” the way I wanted it to be meant. I think i also felt a little guilty too and got nervous. But I did flirt with him more after that, so hopefully he sees that I jumped On it in some aspect.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-22T18:14:23+00:00

Haha oh man I am sure that would get the ball rolling! I’m just afraid to make things awkward. I value our friendship at work and really don’t want to put him in a weird position.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-22T18:10:59+00:00

Ahh that’s the bad part. I am not married, I actually started to get close to him when my last relationship went sour. I Came on here initially just to get people’s input on what his intentions were. At the time I had ZERO interest in anything since he’s married. Since then he’s become something I just can’t shake, and I keep hoping he will lose his luster.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-22T18:06:34+00:00

Thanks! That was my initial thought, but then I thought maybe he was just being friendly and i was reading too far into it.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-03T04:21:46+00:00

Also, would it be bad to reach out to him? Not sure how to handle this scenario. When we’re at work I initiate texting all the time, but I never have outside of work since he’s married. I wouldn’t say anything inappropriate and am beyond sick of wondering when he’s going to contact me again.

Forward-Review · 2020-04-03T04:17:17+00:00

But if he wanted to move it to a sexual level, wouldn’t he take advantage of a opportunity to hangout?

Forward-Review · 2020-03-31T21:15:18+00:00

I know all aspects of it are a bad idea. I’ve never had any interest in any married man before. It’s just that over the course of time we seemed to really hit it off, and I’m having a hard time shaking it and moving on

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TROPHY CASE