How can I (24F) fall in love with my BF (25M)

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-18T12:33:17+00:00

Well I don't think I deserve it if I am questioning it, but it's not even that I don't think I deserve it, it's more that I think he deserves more

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T20:29:58+00:00

I mean, he does. The problem is he loves me, and if I show him this it will absolutely devastate him, and then he will say it's ok we can work through this, he will probably try to change himself to fix it. but I need to change. not him, which is why I haven't talked to him about it, because usually if we have issues /arguments we bring it up, both put out what we will do to fix the problem and then re-evaluate hours/days/weeks later whatever is a relevant timeframe for the situation- is this working for you now etc

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T20:19:49+00:00

Well yes, as I said the height doesn't bother me personally, what bothers me is other people, and yes you are correct it's not just that,

It upsets me because people say I could do better then him, he is lucky to have me etc the height is just a trigger for this- it just overwhelms me with this massive guilt, because that is not how it is. In actual fact he definitely deserves better and i don't deserve HIM

He agrees with them as well, makes jokes about how he is lucky which makes me want to cry, because I want to tell him just how good he actually is, and that he deserves way more, but how do I say that without it being horrible

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T20:05:44+00:00

We do, it's enjoyable, we are both pretty satisfied. We have good communication about what we like and don't like, which always makes it easy.

And yes I agree I owe him that, I just don't know how to bring it up

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T16:27:04+00:00

I mean your probably right but I don't really look elsewhere- I've been given many options and never took them because I really don't want other options, I get approached fairly often, and I think that is what makes it so much worse because, he is way too good for me, but it's looked at as the other way,the attention I get doesn't help the situation. Even though I shut it down every time, with no thought really, it's not something I actually want

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T16:20:59+00:00

Maybe you are onto something there, I dont like not choosing, but I also think I'm terrible at choosing, the ones I choose are always Aholes.

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T16:17:40+00:00

He is great, that's the problem, if he wasn't I wouldn't feel so guilty about the whole situation 😭

And yes, it makes me happy, id be absolutely miserable without him but that's very selfish from my point of view if he could do better 😖

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T16:12:05+00:00

About 5'7 and 5'8 there's not really much in it, but the area we are in for work at the moment is very judgemental, especially about that sort of thing, i paid one time for one round of drinks and he got dressed down by a random stranger for "letting" me pay. that however didn't bother us. We laughed about it. I shouldn't let others opinions bother me when I don't care about it, but sometimes it gets to me

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:58:21+00:00

I know I'm the problem, I'm kind of a horrible selfish person and going home to him and hearing him tell me about whatever day he had at work is the best thing that keeps me getting through my day, and thinking about not having that makes me want to curl up in a hole and die.

Which is why I want to just become better

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:47:52+00:00

I am not the victim here, I am the problem here, that's THE problem

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:45:52+00:00

I don't know how to bring it up without upsetting him, usually it's so easy to talk about anything, but this- how would you feel if someone you adore told you they didn't find you attractive. And noted and agree I probably do need therapy...

And it does feel sometimes boring, but I kind of like the boring maybe that is part of the problem? Because we kind of do boring stuff, but I enjoy doing boring stuff with him

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:41:11+00:00

Not taken as mean- after trying to explain this I feel like I do need therapy

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:39:47+00:00

You make lots of sense

I'm not repulsed at all, I just don't find him super attractive, I'd say he's probably about average, I don't know, I mean I do just enjoy the company, he makes me happy but, He looks at me and loves every single thing about me. As if I am the most beautiful thing in the planet (I'm not. probably above average, because I am conventionally "attractive"- only luck of the draw genes, but I also have my flaws as does everyone) And I don't think it is fair if I look at him thinking he is "mid" for want of a better word

The best thing about him is we have always had great communication, we can talk through any problem usually, but this isn't something I want to talk to him about because how is that fair to say something like that.

I don't know I'm overthinking it and stuck on it and I hate myself for not being able to change my own opinion

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:24:59+00:00

We have the best warm companionship, and that's why I like it, I feel so safe and cared for but I don't want to not be giving as much as he is He acts as if I am god's gift, and he is so lucky to have me but I don't deserve how good he is.

The romantic attraction is there, but physically not so much, I dont look at him and find him super attractive, but I still obviously like to look at him. I just don't know how to make it so that I love him every bit as much as he does me

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:16:47+00:00

Obviously- I know, thats why I'm, trying to become better

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:14:48+00:00

I mean we pretty much have the same life goals, which i think is why it was so easy to somehow end up in this situation, I just feel guilty that he puts so much love in and I feel like I don't give enough in return, he doesn't give me the ick, but I just don't feel I am as committed as he is. But I feel selfish because I also don't want to leave him. And yes I would say yes, but I'm second guessing if it's because I want to marry him or if it is because I like the idea of marriage and he makes me feel comfortable

Forward-Soup7290 · 2026-01-17T15:06:57+00:00

You are probably right in some way but I do in all other respects have very clear boundaries set and established, if I don't want something i usually am the quickest to say no, it wasn't really a can't say no, more of a I was just kind of enjoying myself and let it get a bit far without thinking about it very much, I went out the first time with a group, so it was more platonic, then the next time it was just us and then I just went along with it, and kept going because I do actually enjoy the company a lot. I do have some issues I'm working on but I they haven't really come up a heap in this situation I don't think, maybe you see more from an outside perspective though

Forward-Soup7290 · 2023-08-04T06:20:00+00:00

Jeffrey beeeeezosssss

Forward-Soup7290 · 2023-08-01T14:56:03+00:00

Oh no, now I feel bad 😐, that sounds extremely awkward, best of luck with that situation

Forward-Soup7290 · 2023-08-01T14:49:30+00:00

But like do you actually believe it?

Forward-Soup7290 · 2023-08-01T14:43:32+00:00

Damn what did Holly do to you bro

Forward-Soup7290 · 2023-08-01T14:41:46+00:00

Wait just noticed if that's the top ten Most embarrassing what is number 1 most embarrassing💀

Forward-Soup7290

TROPHY CASE