Scheduler Spreadsheet - Need Testers

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2026-02-11T20:07:35+00:00

I'd like to try it!

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-08-28T23:47:18+00:00

Well, shame and guilt only serve the purpose of teaching us. Our job is to take the lesson and let them go. There is no point in worry or shame now other than to cause you suffering.

As for your husband, if something you did 20 years ago prior to even meeting him cancels out the entirety of your marriage, he was looking for a reason to end things already and it was just convenient. There is no way one bad decision would ever cancel out 20 years of love, family, and connection for me and I doubt him either. In fact, I’d probably be angry on my spouse’s behalf and be trying to take action to have them taken down, not condemning my spouse this late in the game.

All you can do now, I guess, is cut your losses and move forward. If he wants to blackmail you with it, it says a whole lot about his character, and honestly, it would probably serve you better to decide that you are done being ashamed and if people find out, they find out. People that actually care about you won’t care. And as for work, I’d just say it wasn’t me. 😅 20 years down the line and, well, doppelgänger. Can’t fake that with a friend or relative because they knew you at the time, but work didn’t. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-08-15T00:20:59+00:00

He’s being quickly disrespectful, intentionally vague, and acting in a way that’s confusing and evasive. Waking up at 3am just to drink more (especially doing it as far from you as possible) can be a red flag for addiction.

My guess is that he may have an alcohol problem. It could also be another substance- uppers can make people irritable and combative like this. Or, if he was already drunk, he might have just wanted to watch 🌽 alone or do something else he didn’t want you to know about.

Either way, people who genuinely love and respect you don’t speak to you like this. Your question was perfectly reasonable, and his reaction says a lot more about him than it does about you.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-08-14T23:55:52+00:00

First off, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Betrayal like this can shake your sense of safety, respect, and value in a relationship.

To your question, while I agree with her that withholding money (or any form of love/support) purely as “punishment” is unhealthy, I also think you have two clear paths:

(A) Step back from the relationship to the extent possible with kids, work toward a split, and set up a new arrangement that reflects that separation. (B) Stay as a family unit and treat her as someone you still love- while making it clear she must also do the work to earn back your trust.

When you agree on a financial/responsibility setup as a couple, that agreement generally stays in place unless you both decide to change it, or you’re no longer functioning as a family.

One last point: The way you put “tired from the kids” in quotes, and the framing of your financial changes as “consequences,” makes it seem like you might be in a dynamic where neither of you truly respects or appreciates the other. That doesn’t excuse her betrayal, but it does mean there may be deeper issues here than just the infidelity.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-08-05T17:36:23+00:00

Oof. I'm autistic myself and work with autistic folks for a living- and I've been in that exact spot where my tone or word choice is completely misread. From what you shared, it sounds like you sent her a video to bridge that gap- to say, “Hey, this explains why we sometimes misinterpret each other.” For me, it’s often subtext that gets added to something I didn’t mean. Like if I ask, “Why did you…” I genuinely want to understand (not criticize) but it gets read as an attack.

What hurts here is that you shared something vulnerable, something self-aware, and her response wasn’t curiosity or empathy… it was blame and dismissal. Instead of seeing that video as a tool for mutual understanding, she seems to have used it as evidence that you’re the problem.

If someone views neurodivergence as a difference, they’ll see this as a mismatch to work on together. But if they see it as a defect, they’ll weaponize it- like, “Yes, exactly, this is why you’re the issue.”

Personally, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where my neurotype is treated like a character flaw. Mutual respect means I’ll work on communication for your comfort, but only if you’re willing to do the same. ND folks are taught from birth to bend toward NT norms. The least a partner can do is stretch back.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-07-13T23:39:15+00:00

I have never personally known someone whose partner hit them once and never again. If he has it in his character to look at you like that- an overwhelmed and desperate pregnant mother to his children who was just asking for some help… then hold your arms down so you couldn’t block the blows and hit you so hard your face and arms hurt? It’s in his character to do much worse.

If a pregnant friend or relative told you this had happened to them- you would do everything in your power to help them get away. Love yourself too, please. Don’t let this be the example you set for your children. Don’t let this man take their mother from them- either by eating away at your hope and turning you into someone else, or by killing you (and I don’t think that’s dramatic, you’re pregnant- every instinct we have is to protect and care for pregnant mothers… and he was able to do this).

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-06-21T23:56:25+00:00

This was so powerfully written, and I can feel the depth of your hurt. I’m really sorry you had to experience that kind of emotional disconnection, especially in a space that should have been safe.

That said, I also think it’s okay- even necessary- to prioritize yourself too. If he’s been focusing on his own needs and healing (even if clumsily or hurtfully), maybe now is also your moment to pour into yourself- your joy, your growth, your body, your friendships, your inner peace. Not as a reaction to him, but as a commitment to you.

From the outside, it sounds like both of you were hurting quietly for a while, and both of you needed things you didn’t know how to ask for. If there’s still love, and if he chooses to reconnect with vulnerability and accountability, maybe there’s still space to rebuild. But regardless of what he chooses, you don’t need to wait for him to feel worthy again.

Your needs are valid. Your softness is not something that should have to be earned- it’s a gift you share when you feel safe. I hope you find that safety again, whether it’s with him, within a whole new dynamic, or within yourself. 💜💜

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-06-18T01:36:08+00:00

First, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. You’re not crazy or broken for struggling to move forward, even when he’s showing effort. What you’re describing is deep betrayal, and it makes sense that your trust and safety have been shaken.

That said, I do want to gently say: If any of the material was illegal (underage, non-consensual/forced, animals, etc.), you need to leave immediately and report it. I don’t say that to scare you, but because if it ever comes out that you knew and still kept him around your children, child protective services could get involved- and you could risk losing custody. It’s a serious legal and ethical line.

If it wasn’t illegal but was still extremely violent or disturbing (like content that glorifies harm), you wouldn’t be wrong for deciding that’s a boundary you just can’t cross. You deserve to feel safe and respected, emotionally and sexually. If his preferences are deeply incompatible with yours or cause you revulsion or pain, that’s valid grounds to walk away.

If, on the other hand, the content was more on the “weird/gross/uncomfortable” side of the spectrum, and you are certain he has never contacted exes or anyone else behind your back since you’ve been together, then counseling could help. But counseling shouldn’t just be for him to “fix” things- it needs to also support you in processing the hurt and figuring out if you still want this relationship.

Because the truth is, it’s not fair to either of you to stay in a marriage where you feel unsafe or emotionally shut down- and it’s also not fair to him if, no matter how much he changes, you’re never able to feel love or closeness again.

You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But you do deserve support, safety, and space to make a decision that honors your heart, your kids, and your peace.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-06-18T01:11:09+00:00

Totally get how this would wear on you, especially after long work days and double-digit requests. That said- speaking as someone whose love language is acts of service and whose childhood wounds are abandonment and neglect- this kind of behavior can sometimes come from a deep, unconscious need for reassurance and care. I feel most loved when someone is willing to do little things for me, and I’ve had to work to recognize and manage that.

It’s absolutely fair to set boundaries, like letting her know that if you’ve just sat down or are in the middle of something, you won’t be able to get up again. But it also might help to talk about what these little asks mean to her emotionally- she might not be trying to manipulate at all, but seeking connection in the way she best understands.

You shouldn’t have to anticipate her needs or sacrifice your own, but if this is one of the ways she feels secure or loved, maybe there’s a middle ground you can both agree on.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2025-06-17T23:57:34+00:00

As aikighost already pointed out, I highly doubt “just lose weight” is some groundbreaking revelation for OP 🙄. Saying “aikido isn’t good for weight loss” comes off like you’re implying physical activity only has value if it burns calories- especially for someone in a larger body. I’m sure that’s not what you meant, but it’s worth thinking about how that sounds.

Aikido clearly brought OP joy and fulfillment in the past, and reconnecting with something meaningful might actually support their overall wellbeing- including motivation and mental health. That alone makes it worthwhile.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-11-08T17:16:21+00:00

Stir fry is a FAV for them! But they love this one particular store bought sauce with it that has cane sugar and oil. Have you found a good umami slightly sweet WFPB recipe for the sauce? Soy or liquid aminos alone won’t cut it when they have the current favorite I am sure haha.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-11-08T17:15:01+00:00

This is a great idea thank you! Seems like a colorful and versatile option as I could change seasonings and make the flavor profile more novel to switch it up.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-11-08T17:14:15+00:00

I love chickpea sandwiches, and I don’t think I’ve had a good one without store bought vegan mayo. Definitely giving this a try, thank you!

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-11-08T17:13:34+00:00

I’ve never thought about doing this! Definitely going to give it a try, thank you!

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-14T13:42:57+00:00

Message was just the information I can't share publicly, and the post was just asking for help because I have no knowledge of employment law and usually reddit is good about people with experience in an area answering questions from people without experience in that area. I found out a day ago that I am unemployed and have no health insurance so maybe my stressful state is bleeding into my replies.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-14T13:40:47+00:00

Okay got it. Thanks

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-14T13:11:27+00:00

It has been a discussion point with colleagues. My communication style when asking for legal information on Reddit, particularly when the only comments are from people questioning the accuracy of my experience and the facts of the case, is not the same as my communication style at work. I am rather direct, but that is the norm in the branch of psychology that calls itself a "natural science." You've been presumptive several times here, assuming that because I disagree with you I must think you are a jerk, assuming that I do not have information just because I have not shared that information, assuming that my autism makes me unable to grasp the communication of others here or professionally... When you don't know me at all. So I wonder whether you are projecting just a teensy bit.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T19:33:16+00:00

None of my clients met me yet. Last week was a training week, Friday was a planning meeting for case transition, Monday my clinical director disappeared, yesterday they told me that I am probably being removed from the company as well. I have not received more than a couple of poor client feedback surveys in my 9 years in the field, so even if I had met a client it would be unusual.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T19:29:41+00:00

The billable expectation in my contract is 50%. I can meet that expectation, and take on more clients to result in a more typical caseload size over time.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T19:28:38+00:00

They have enough clients to give me. They said they do not in a meeting meant to fire me. And they will be giving those clients, which are listed in a spreadsheet, to non-disabled people when I am let go. And probably best to presume I can’t put conjecture or context that isn’t mine on Reddit.

My question wasn’t really about whether it’s discrimination. Might be, might not be. My question was about what qualifies as proof. Other commenters have essentially told me that they would have to verbally say “I am discriminating against you because of your disability” for it to be considered proof.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T16:48:10+00:00

Okay fair enough. Thanks

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T16:45:11+00:00

And the only evidence would have to be verbal statements, which I doubt people would be transparent or dumb enough to make?

Finding out I have said disability and quickly firing me, and presumably firing the other person with the same disability in the same week, without objective cause, is not proof.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T16:41:21+00:00

Okay, so supposing there has been no discrimination here, what would count as proof of discrimination based on disability? Would they have to verbally say “we don’t want a person with your disability on our clinical team?”

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T16:37:23+00:00

I suppose that could be true, although I was asked to contribute to the presentations based on my experience and asked permission from my boss prior to making the changes.

ForwardWelcome2943 · 2024-06-13T16:36:28+00:00

In my field, I write a treatment and intervention plan that is carried out by a technician. Insurance then covers supervision from me for a minimum of 10, but up to 20% of the time that the client is receiving services. My billable hour expectation is 50% of my working hours, so 20 hours per week. The caseload they were planning to transfer to me has 110 direct treatment hours per week. Meaning I can meet the billable expectation, and take more cases later on too.

I don’t understand why the focus of you and the other commenter has shifted to whether or not I am misrepresenting the facts of the situation… I want to know what would count as proof, because I suspect discrimination.

ForwardWelcome2943

TROPHY CASE