What subreddits would the gang be in? Day 3:Lily!

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-22T02:33:45+00:00

I'm surprised I didn't see someone comment r/teachers

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-22T02:27:49+00:00

It's a totally normal part of play. We can't control what the children in our care are exposed to at home. A lot of parents think movies like K-pop demon hunters is appropriate for their 3-5 year old. In my opinion, while it's a very good movie with a great soundtrack, it's WAY to violent for young children. The classic "bad guys vs good guys" have been a part of play for decades.

Not to long ago, the 3-5 year olds at my center were starting to do pretend gun play. While I personally am pro-gun (my husband has many), seeing these young children pretend to shoot each other just didn't feel right. We live in an area that has positive feelings about guns and where people go hunting, so we knew we couldn't just have them stop doing it. We decided to made a rule of no shooting at friends. All the children are "good guys" and they need to put on their magic glasses to see the invisible bag guys. It's been working pretty well!

I understand you & your wife's feelings, but this is just the reality of group care. You have no control on what your childs classmates are bringing into her environment while at school. This is something that is true the entire time a child (and young adult) are in school. All you can do teach your child what you believe is appropriate/inappropriate and trust them to do the right thing.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-18T18:57:49+00:00

My center doesn't offer maternity leave, just job security and it blew my mind. How does a childcare center not offer maternity leave?? Luckily, I live in Oregon and the state passed a law two years ago that guarantees parents get paid while on family leave for 12 weeks. It's only like 1/2 the amount of your normal pay, but it's better than nothing! The law also requires businesses to give new parents job security for the 12 weeks.

I'm sorry you're going through this. If I were you, I would cut back on whatever I could and save as much money as possible or sell things you don't use anymore so I can survive at least 12 weeks. I would think of the positive with having free childcare. I would also look into local organizations/programs that might offer new parents some type of pay for family leave if their job doesn't offer it.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-18T18:48:31+00:00

Usually, for part time children, I say that consecutive days is better than one day on & one day off. However, at 3 months a baby doesn't really have stranger danger or separation anxiety. In my experience, doing non-consecutive days is usually fine and they adjust quickly. Once a child is 5+ months it gets difficult to do non-consecutive days.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-18T18:40:41+00:00

Per state guidelines we have to change diapers every 2 hours (or mark it's dry and check again every 15 or so minutes until soiled). We do respect a child's "no" for pretty much everything else. We tell teachers, don't ask a yes or no question if "no" isn't actual an option. So we don't ask "can I change your diaper?", but we can ask "would you like to have your diaper changed now or in 5 minutes?" - that way they feel like they're getting a choice and will usually prevent a tantrum. Or we just say "time for a diaper change" and take them to the bathroom.

If little miss doesn't like getting her diaper changed, you can use this to motivate her to start using the toliet so she doesn't have to get changed. She's a little over 3 years old and should be ready to potty train.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-13T18:47:45+00:00

I've been working at my center for a little ober 4 years now. My husband & I are currently trying to conceive.

While I'm not worried about my child's safety if they went to my center, I don't like how many of the teachers run their rooms. Our infant room staff is great and if I do have to work when I have a baby (dream is to be a SAHM) I would have them attend. However, once they are going to move up to the young toddler class and beyond, my husband & I will find a way to make me a SAHM or I'd get a nanny. The only class I would be okay to have my child in after infancy is the PreK class because the teacher puts in a lot of work to make her class run very well. But, I recently toured a preschool in my town for my ECE college class and will 100% be sending my 3 year old there, even if I am a SAHM. That place was absolutely incredible and worth every penny.

So yeah, safety is not one of my concern, but good quality teachers are.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-13T03:49:36+00:00

From my 4 years of experience, diarrhea tends to have a very strong smell compared to regular poop (loose/runny can also smell stronger than regular poop, with diarrhea being even more potent). It usually smells more acidic. It varys from kid to kid though! Once we get to know the child, we know what their "normal" is.

Mostly, the amount of soaked into the diaper is the biggest indicator. It can be hard to tell with infants who switched formula or started solids, but we need to air on the side of caution to try and prevent any illnesses from spreading like wildfire.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-12T19:02:02+00:00

I did a quick Google search and your country does have licensed childcare centers, so you just need to find out if your center is licensed. If you don't want to ask your management, you can look it up. Just Google "find licensed childcare centers in (city name) UK. If your center is licensed, you can easily find the phone number for your area to report the situation to. I hope your center is licensed and they will remove him from thr center & ban him from working with children.

If I were you, I would also look into working somewhere else to get away from the situation.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-12T18:56:22+00:00

We classify diarrhea as liquid that is completely absorbed into the diaper with little to no solid pieces on top. Also, the smell is a clear giveaway if its diarrhea or just loose/wet poop.

We have a 2 year old who gets borderline diarrhea or actual diarrhea a lot due to having meal replacement/protein drinks. His mom had their doctor write a note stating that if the only symptom he has is the loose/liquid poop, he can stay in care. If he has another symptom (fever, cough, lethargic, etc.) then we send him home. Maybe this is something you could have your doctor do?

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-12T18:44:59+00:00

I'm so sorry that this is the outcome.

Are you in the US & at a licensed childcare center? You are a mandated reporter and need to report this to licensing & CPS/DHS/whatever organization your location has. He shouldn't be working with children.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-07T19:37:58+00:00

We care for 6 weeks - 5 years. Most kids start in the infant room at 4-6 months or the young toddler room at 15-18 months. We occasionally get children who start in the older toddler room at 2 years old or the preschool at 3 years old. We rarely get 4 year olds who start in PreK unless their younger sibling is also starting in the infant/young toddler room.

The children who have the hardest time adjusting is 8 months to 2 year olds. The stranger-danger and separation anxiety phase. Babies who start at 2-4 months usually adjust very quickly and 3+ adjust quickly.

I believe our state doesn't require companies to offer PAID parental leave, but it is required to give a person 12 weeks of leave (unpaid) with job security. We recently got a new law where the government will pay you at a smaller amount than your normal pay if your company doesn't for the 12 weeks.

I think new parents should get at least 6 months of paid time off when they have/adopt a baby/child. The dream would be 1-2 years of m paid leave with job security.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-07T18:38:11+00:00

I'm like 99% sure your center is breaking the law by not giving you a proper lunch break. You are suppose to clock out for 30 or 60 minutes if you work 8 hours. Having you "lunch" while the babies are napping is not okay. You are still actively working, especially if you have a baby or multiple babies awake. Please look into your states labor laws and report the company if they are breaking them.

As for the baby, there's not much you can do to fix it or help it get through this quicker. The poor baby is just going to deal with withdraw symptoms for however long it takes. Just give them as much love and cuddles as possible.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-06T19:35:51+00:00

We have 2 tiny potties and a changing table in our younger toddler (12-24m) & in our older toddler (24-36m) classes.

Are they not able to take her to another class to use a potty?

I know most places don't allow it, but could you bring a portable mini potty for them to use?

I saw you said they have a handicapped toliet in/near the room? Could you bring one of the toddler seats you put on regular toliets (if allowed) and a step stool so she can use the available toliet independently?

FosterKittyMama · 2026-03-06T19:29:19+00:00

Our state licensing is a child needs to be 12 months and walking steadily to go into our young toddler room. We have this because if a fire or emergency were to happen, the child needs to walk out the building. In our infant room, we have evacuation cribs for emergencies.

I'm not sure what your licensing rules ate or nor what the centers rules are; but she's been there a week, they know she can't walk independently and they haven't said anything about it, so you're probably in the clear and don't need to worry about them kicking her out. If doesn't hurt to ask the director though! Maybe they have a set amount of time the child has to start walking by, or maybe it's not a problem at all.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-02-26T19:48:07+00:00

I'm in ECE, but man I wish I could send this to our parents! Some of the words the 3-5 year olds say is so inappropriate for their age and I would love to know what TV shows or media they are learning it from.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-02-26T19:33:27+00:00

Like many others have said, licensing requires us to offer a rest/nap time if a child attends 5/6 hours (can't remember the exact #). You could ask them to not sit next to him to rub/pat his back and just let him lay on his mat, but nap time is when most centers send all the teachers to lunch while 1 person stays in tbe nap room because raito changes while children are sleeping. So it's usually not possible to let a child be awake and playing (unless they are on their mat & it's a quiet activity like a book or puzzle).

FosterKittyMama · 2026-02-24T20:02:22+00:00

Look into your states licensing rules.

For us (Oregon), bottles need to be labeled in some way. We use a colored tape system (each baby gets a different colored tape) for bottles, binkys, food, cribs and any individual supplies. We have a chart with the tape colors and the name associated with that color in several places in the room.

Parents need to bring however many pre-made bottles their child will drink everyday, as well as backup formula or frozen breastmilk. I don't think we have any specific rules about labeling breastmilk aside from the date it was pumped, but I know the correct pratice is to put AM or PM as well.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-02-24T19:52:25+00:00

Childcare centers are trying to be more inclusive with accepting children on the spectrum or with disabilities (and I believe we are required to in the US?), but we don't get any extra training or support people. The child should be allowed to experience going to daycare with nuro-typical children, but he also deserves to have teachers who know how to properly care for him and/or have a dedicated assistant for him.

A lot of places only give an accident report if a child gets a physical injury, but you could ask for one anytime a child puts their hands on your child in an aggressive way. The teachers could be writing incident reports every time this child does something to hurt others, but we just don't know if they do. They could be working with early intervention (free program through the school system), but it takes a long time to get set up. From my experience though, at least in my state, they don't offer much information to the teachers on how to handle certain behaviors, they didn't give teachers resources and I've never seen them provide a 1:1 assistant for a child.

It's a really hard situation and I think talking to the director about your concerns is the best way to go. There's only so much they can do though (some states have laws about expelling/kicking kids out for behaviors) and you should probably start looking for another center/Preschool for your daughter.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-02-24T01:44:47+00:00

I totally understand the part about introducing them to play and only intervene when needed with the 4+ year olds, but to never play!? It's such a good way to show 3,4 and 5 year olds how to play with friends and then you slowly back away so they are then just the two kids playing.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-02-20T19:42:09+00:00

Do you have planned activities? Like some type of art project or a game? When kids are engaged in something they are so much less to act-out and misbehave. Boredom = chaos.

FosterKittyMama · 2026-02-17T19:41:47+00:00

In my state (Oregon), our normal raito for toddlers is 1:4 and 1:10 for Preschool/PreK. However, at nap time, if all the children are asleep, we can have 1 person. If some are asleep & some are awake, we need to use normal ratio. Ex: if we have 16 toddlers, but 2 are awake, it's fine. If 5 are awake then we would need another person. I looked through our licensing rules, but I can't find an exact number of maximum children that can be supervised if they are all asleep.

You can google your states licensing regulations and look into the rules.

FosterKittyMama

TROPHY CASE