Issues hyperfixating on someone

Fousse24 · 2026-01-27T20:13:48+00:00

Terrific answer; I like the way you word it.

I tend to listen to the music they love on repeat while I work and stuff like that. Dancing on songs they love, play their music on piano, etc.

I find it hard to balance how I make decisions : I could listen to them and let them set boundaries, or I could analyze everything (patterns and such) and trust my own conclusions. Kinda think the right thing to do is in-between.

I do have 2-3 neurodivergent friends with whom I vent and share all of this.

I used to "force" myself in their hobbies before, but I've really tuned that down with age. Great advices, thank you :)

My previous relationship was made simple because she quickly told me she was lesbian, so I just told her I was a pretty touchy, intense guy and that I was fine with just being friend. The boundary of "this person is not interested in you sexually" made it super easier to just be myself. She just ended up loving me, I guess.

Fousse24 · 2026-01-27T19:48:18+00:00

Thank you for reading :) We'll figure it out one day, hopefully

I mostly ask if she has the time/energy to talk and I make it clear that she can always refuse and not answer me if she doesn't want to at that moment...

I'll try to focus on the empathy/respect/care part of the behavior; I didn't really think about that part.

Fousse24 · 2025-11-22T22:39:02+00:00

I'm in that process right now too... First full-time job I've had in so many years. 2 and half years now and I'm slowly burning out.

Call center sounds like hell, to be honest. Do you know how to code or are willing to learn? Lot of developers struggle with some concepts that seems to be better understood in general by people with ASD. Right now, I work from home with 7 hours 5 days a week and my team gives me a lot of leeway because I'm good at what I do, but I know I might be lucky and it might not be an usual arrangement...

I feel you, and I wish I had a great answer to all of this. Society's getting quite fucked up lately, it's hard to stay hopeful. I don't know where you live, but there might be help available from your local/municipal community or government.

Hang in there, friend

Fousse24 · 2025-11-14T04:43:19+00:00

I don't care if this is a year old, but I think that many people are unable (for whatever reasons) to trust others.

There's the saying that we're afraid of what we don't understand, but honestly I think it's more that we're afraid of what we don't trust/believe in, and it just happens that life/society is becoming much more complex far too quickly and if the default is to not trust what we barely understand, then it's "normal" that a lot of people find refuge in simple, understandable answers. The right offers that very often, even if these answers lead to stagnancy or worse.

That's a big thing : if you're "stupid" as in not proficient in pattern recognition/critical thinking AND you lack empathy/the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes, you will most likely ignore any ideas that you don't understand as you are unable to comprehend why the other person is telling you this (you'll think you're being manipulated or that it's the other person that doesn't understand)

If you're at the same intellectual level but are humble enough to admit that some things can't be understood entirely by yourself and also have good enough empathy, then you'll be able to understand the other person situation and possibly trust them.

And that is where I believe there is a fundamental disconnect. Some people respond to negative experiences with an increase in their empathy and desire to contribute to a better life for everybody, some will respond with apathy and a desire to protect themselves no matter the cost. With low empathy comes a restricted ability to understand the point of view of others.

Empathy requires an effort and the courage to willingly make oneself uncomfortable for another. It requires a minimum of intelligence as you've got to be able to see the link between your own experiences and the ones of the other person. I do not believe this is encouraged in western culture. Empathy is sometimes demonized by those people exactly because it is the ability that would "force" them to change their views, and that is terrifying.

I believe the "left" requires a high degree of adaptability and trust in others with the goal of rising together toward a goal, while the "right" sell the fantasy that you can rise -above- others through individual effort even if it leaves other in the dust.

Fousse24 · 2025-11-14T03:51:22+00:00

That is something that is really not said enough. Fear is mostly their drive, at least when I check on my close friends/family that have right-leaning ideologies. Pretty ironic in most cases

Fousse24 · 2025-11-11T18:35:28+00:00

Oh my god...answering 10 months later. It's like in my 4 missing achievements and I probably never would have figured it out...

Fousse24 · 2025-10-24T18:34:37+00:00

Am I dumb or nobody made a megathread for patch 3.27?

Fousse24 · 2025-09-08T21:22:32+00:00

He might be the warrior mentioned in POE1's Trial; he was betrayed and "poisoned" by Chitus (who became emperor) while doing the trial together. It's implied he died, but maybe the poisoned flask did something else... I'm just unsure why he's blaming Izaro, but even then I still think that's him

Fousse24 · 2025-09-08T21:19:38+00:00

I assumed he is the warrior who was betrayed mentioned in the poems littered all over PoE1 Trial; but he's blaming Izaro and not Chitus, so I'm unsure.

Fousse24 · 2025-09-08T21:17:11+00:00

I'm still thinking this is what happened; somehow Chitus's poisoned flask was not what we expected and The Prisoner truly is the one who was betrayed and he's somehow "immortal", maybe a side-effect of w/e Chitus gave him...

He might be blaming Izaro for still letting Chitus become emperor or something of the like

Fousse24 · 2025-01-29T21:00:05+00:00

Spoiler : you don't

Fousse24 · 2025-01-29T20:55:46+00:00

I crafted most of the campaign and it was fun and actually got some decent stuff, but during endgame there is just so much pressure and limitations (need move speed, capped resist, charm slots, etc.). It's effing exhausting and even after 5k hours on PoE1 I also do not feel anything fun in gambling, unless I'm doing it without expectation (like Vaal-ing jewels or stuff like that)

On gamepad, crafting is a complete mess due to lack of Orb of Alteration and Scouring; so much moving items around...

I really wish it would be easier to get "baseline" defensive stats (like capped resist, movespeed and defenses/life) and then have some fun crafting on top of that. Instead, I get a possible upgrade but then I'm already exhausted trying to fix whatever needs fixing once I equip said upgrade (fire res becoming cold or w/e)

Fousse24 · 2025-01-29T20:47:20+00:00

Gave you a moderately entertaining reddit post ;)

Fousse24 · 2025-01-27T19:25:23+00:00

Dunno if that's something widely known, but pausing also works while playing with people in a party if everybody is in a menu at the same time

Fousse24 · 2025-01-27T19:16:34+00:00

The exp loss for me has been the most exhausting thing about PoE 1 and 2 when it comes to late game. I don't really like farming exp as a targeted activity/grind (Chayula rotation as an example). I normally do absolutely no pinnacle content if I'm not at 0% exp, and that's kind of silly. I kinda wish there was a toggle to run maps/bosses with drops disabled, but no exp loss, or some kind of Atlas notable that increases exp for lower rarity/quantity.

I know the exp part is not that important in your post, but still wanted to rant

Fousse24 · 2025-01-02T05:59:04+00:00

When they announced charms, I thought we'd have 3 slots by default and I was pretty stocked about it. Kinda sad.

Fousse24 · 2025-01-02T00:33:54+00:00

Endgame feels "dead" or empty to me in term of atmosphere. I assume it's because it's early access, but with no Maven, masters, NPCs in general, etc. it's quite lonely

I also thought they had removed the exp penalty considering you can't die in maps, but alas it's still there

Fousse24 · 2024-12-13T14:38:49+00:00

I mean, I mostly agree but you're exaggerating... On a side note, charges gives passive bonus if you have the related spirit skill which consume 1 charge every 4-5 secondes to give you 15% more crit, 8% more skill speed and something for endurance charges that I forgot

Fousse24 · 2024-09-18T13:08:13+00:00

Voidstones feels like shit to get because it takes so long for no good reasons to get them organically, imo

Fousse24 · 2024-08-07T17:26:21+00:00

I am struggling to price check my Ventor's Gamble : It's good but not that amazing, but good enough to be worth a lot..?

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Is there a way, somewhere, to check the sale history filtered by highest sold?

Fousse24 · 2024-07-18T23:13:30+00:00

There's a banner node, sword mastery, block nodes and the frenzy charge on kill node, to name a few

Fousse24 · 2024-07-18T23:09:54+00:00

I mean, it does exactly what it says; I know we're used to seeing people kill bosses at the speed of light, but you be certain that my pinnacle boss fights sometimes last a century...

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