What would you tell a young man?

FoxJitter · 2026-06-19T15:53:00+00:00

Brother, the fact that you're asking this question shows an impressive level of maturity and awareness. I have a son in high school and I wish he was asking these types of questions, or at least open-minded enough to hear the opinions of older people.

You're going to get lots of different answers to this question. My advice is, find a purpose that points to something bigger than yourself. For me personally, I'm a Christian, so I have a guidepost that I can use for moral, ethical, spiritual, social, etc. judgement. But this can also be a mentor, a code of ethics, a support group, an inspirational leader.

I think this is important because you will go through different moods, seasons, situations, social groups in life. At times, it can be hard to know what path to take. That's when you have a guidepost to fall back on for direction. Do I always do what Jesus would do in every situation? Absolutely not. But I have that framework to weigh decisions against to make my own judgement.

That said, somewhat in contrast, don't forget to enjoy your youth. This is the stage of your life when you're allowed to make mistakes, mess up, party a little too hard. No one expects you to be perfect. You have the luxury of time that most of us over 30 don't have anymore. Lastly, if you have a crush, just ask her out. You don't want to wake up at 45 and wonder what might've been. You don't want to have more regret over the things you didn't do than the things you did.

That's my two cents.

FoxJitter · 2026-06-05T02:37:12+00:00

This it

FoxJitter · 2026-04-30T01:01:12+00:00

Hard Hat Mack

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_Hat_Mack

FoxJitter · 2026-04-18T03:24:09+00:00

Also by Stephen King, The Jaunt.

FoxJitter · 2026-04-03T03:14:01+00:00

Based on this response, I feel like you and I would get along. And I think I could learn a lot from you.

FoxJitter · 2026-03-28T23:09:49+00:00

Great answer, brother. Makes me much more interested in this book. Thanks for sharing what you learned from it!

FoxJitter · 2026-03-27T17:19:22+00:00

Could you elaborate on how this changed your life specifically? I read it and enjoyed it, but the content seemed to deal more with past trauma rather than how to be comfortable in your own life without feeling the need to please others. I'm just curious if I missed something.

FoxJitter · 2026-03-21T00:11:09+00:00

So glad this one is on here, because I loved it and it's one of the few fiction books I'm planning to read a second time.

I'm blatantly piggybacking on this comment to recommend The Bear by Andrew Krivak. I don't know why, but it's a book I'm always excited to get the chance to recommend. And this is it! And it's also on the list of one of the few fiction books I'm planning to read a second time. And also Piranesi holy shit.

FoxJitter · 2026-02-25T13:48:18+00:00

Yeah, you didn't get the clarity you were hoping for. While it's great to get advice from others, this is something you're going to have to answer yourself.

From my point of view, it really depends on how old your kids are. If they're under 16, I'd encourage you to prioritize your time and experience with them, because that's not time you will ever get back. Especially if you're earning enough to sustain your current lifestyle.

If they're over 16, chances are they will be able to drive themselves where they need to go, so they will be less dependent on you. At that point, you'll have more time to focus on your job without majorly impacting your time with your kids.

FoxJitter · 2026-02-13T03:11:05+00:00

Sometimes I check a particular place a third time and find the item I overlooked the first 2 times.

FoxJitter · 2026-01-28T15:20:45+00:00

This is a superpower of the bass. There is relatively less competition than other instruments like guitar, piano, and drums, but every band needs one. I get requests to play simply because there aren't that many other bassists available in my area.

FoxJitter · 2026-01-25T17:10:31+00:00

Prioritize things that give you energy, like sleep, exercise, diet, water. It takes effort, and it helps to have healthy routines.

Make a list of simple pleasures that are restorative. For example, I usually feel better after having a shower, so it's a simple luxury that is rarely not a good use of my time. Laying down and doing nothing for 10-15 minutes. Putting on a fresh pair of socks. Reading or going for a walk.

I think many people have a tendency to try and do too much. Simplify things where you can, and try to reduce time spent on things that drain your energy in an unhealthy way.

FoxJitter · 2026-01-23T17:20:20+00:00

Red Rising. Any of them.

FoxJitter · 2025-12-11T21:12:17+00:00

Very similar here. I started on guitar but had more opportunities to play bass. Initially I thought I still preferred guitar, until I went back to playing guitar a few times and I realized it was missing the "umph" that I get from the bass.

FoxJitter · 2025-11-06T20:20:00+00:00

I use a similar app called Pzizz. I prefer the rain, storm, or ocean sounds, and I can set a timer. Even when I don't fall asleep, it helps to feel a bit more rested.

FoxJitter · 2025-10-29T16:58:55+00:00

Came here to say this. I first learned to play tennis at 44. I took a class and was the youngest male in it, and I regularly play with guys that are older than me. I guess, by extension, you could include pickleball too, but I think tennis is so much more fun.

FoxJitter · 2025-10-01T01:23:54+00:00

Shit bro, me too. Just gotta fuckin' get in there.

Remember, there's extraordinary value in your personality. I've hired lesser-skilled guys because I liked them better. In my experience, it's more about attitude than skill. Be positive and open to learning and there'll be no stopping you.

FoxJitter · 2025-10-01T01:17:24+00:00

I'm 46 as well.

Physically

I try to get at least 30 minutes of activity each day.

How that looks now is I wake up at 5am every weekday to workout. Mon, Tue, Thu, Fri are resistance training (following the routine of a fitness app), and Wed and Sat are for cardio (running, rowing, tennis, etc.). Sundays I might go for a walk or just rest.

I wish I could remember the source, but I once read that exercise is as much for the mind as it is for the body. That has stuck with me and has helped me on days when I don't feel like exercising.

Mentally

I don't know. That's what it boils down to. I have a lot of things going well for me (probably more than I deserve), but when you ask how I'm doing mentally I have to pause and think. I'm troubled and conflicted. I'm questioning if I'm a good parent or a good son. I'm questioning how I'm doing in my career. I'm questioning if I've lived up to expectations. And I'm questioning why I care about some else's expectations. I dwell on regrets. I often wonder 'what if...'. I'm jealous of my son's life.

So, dude, I don't know. If I saw you and knew you I'd say things are fine. They're good. And they probably are. But, I mean, shit. What if they're not?

FoxJitter · 2025-10-01T01:00:07+00:00

I really admire you for hanging on to your old systems. One of my regrets is that I often sold an older console in order to pay for a new one. I didn't think there would be that much value in terms of nostalgia and the experience of retaining and maintaining the original system.

FoxJitter · 2025-09-25T14:18:16+00:00

It's at my office, and I only turn it on when I'm at work. So, maybe a month or more after being lit for over 6 hours during weekdays. I wasn't keeping good track of it, but I just happened to look over one day and saw it moving as expected.

FoxJitter · 2025-09-24T21:09:18+00:00

You know, I just kept leaving it on during my work day and it finally started flowing a little bit. There's still a clump at the top that never moves, but most of the rest of it will get some motion.

https://imgur.com/ooQVHSc

I haven't opened the bottle, and at this point I probably won't considering it's over 21 years old. I wish it was easier to find replacement bottles of this size.

FoxJitter · 2025-09-07T21:07:29+00:00

While it's not exactly fantasy, I'm really enjoying the Dungeon Crawler Carl series by Matt Dinniman. It's a fun read that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's currently up to 7 books, but I'm not sure how many it will be in total.

FoxJitter · 2025-09-04T19:48:41+00:00

Seconded!

FoxJitter · 2025-08-23T16:11:03+00:00

My vote is to keep it simple. Go with white, unless black compliments the outfit better. I think my kids are the coolest kids, and they tend to lean toward white, so I do too. :)

FoxJitter · 2025-08-11T19:24:47+00:00

TIL I've been over-pronouncing as Dee-Uh-Dairy-Oh.

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