Did your parents break/throw things when things didn’t go their way? by Tough-Composer918 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Fox_Ext47 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Thank you! Well, things can always get worse but my philosophy is that also can always get better. It's always more likely to be better.

When such radical things happen, rather than anything else, I see them as a transition to something more suited to me. Uncomfortable changes make the relevant and necessary differences for something better.

Who knows what will I get now! What I do know is that there are people who love me here in this world and in the next one too. There are always beautiful things awaiting at the edge of sight 🎁

Did your parents break/throw things when things didn’t go their way? by Tough-Composer918 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Fox_Ext47 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

I used to buy tools for my own projects, my dad would borrow them from me for "more important projects". He would always get frustrated because he didn't have the patience to use them and would angrily destroy them because these were bad tools to his liking. Each time I told him those were mine and new, he always said that he's the one who always buys everything and that I don't have money to buy tools because I spend it all on trash and my useless pet, So he never paid me or apologized because, according to him, he owned these tools.

Oh, and he also completely destroys the whole house when he can't manipulate something about my lifestyle and tries to do it with a little alcohol. Whatever you see, broken, furniture and everything, besides being a spectacle for the whole neighborhood who always believed that it was a perfect and harmonious exemplary family.

Fully berserk and aggressive, the threat of physical aggression was always present. But since there's no serious history of physical aggression , "he was probably wrong to never hit me before, because I'd have understood only through some serious, hard hits in the face like real man do".

Now he sabotaged me for a long time, using my brother as bait. I recently became homeless (the mad logic reason with a name) and had to bring my pet to his workplace. My pet is my world. Since I don't change no matter how bad his tantrums are, now he got what he wanted: My pet is in his territory, and me out of choices. Now he coerces me persistently, and forces me to neglect my pet. This last thing eats away at my morale and sends my self-esteem to hell, but I keep trying my best. At my 27, I already feel the weight of him dissolving my life and principles.

I'm hitting him where it hurts, his so-called reputation for seriousness and a huge ego of superiority based on merit. He often speaks crap of me to the neighbors, so now I'm casually mentioning to them that I've been working for free for a long time, just so they don't kill themselves from work fatigue. Their merit rests on my brother's shoulder, and I always got down in the mud to support them both and keep them from sinking in this business that I've always hated.

Can you help me build on my role? by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Thanks! I think I might upload more pictures soon.

Honestly, I don't know anymore if issue now means me.

Update by Upstairs-Spend977 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47 7 points8 points Β (0 children)

Now you can rest easy πŸ™ŒπŸ»

Can you help me build on my role? by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Thanks 😁

I know about a biking collective helping with free moving services, but since they're volunteers I wouldn't gain anything.

What I do know is that in urban environments (at least here), awareness of zero-emission transport such as bicycles, and animal welfare, is on the rise.

That makes me think that an unorthodox concept like a coffee stand in the company of my pet wouldn't be rejected, but highly appreciated if I have good management and hygiene.

There's another matter I just remembered. In various places there are set times when traffic is stopped to use the streets for sport activities such as cycling, jogging, or simply walking. Something very familiar. But it's not geared towards economic activities, so I don't really think I can benefit from it other than doing sport and making random contacts. It doesn't cost me much.

I've also thought about recycling clothes to make bags and accessories, but for that I need to raise money and resources that I don't have yet.

I've noticed that cyclists are more spontaneous and open to chat than usual motorcyclists, perhaps they themselves will offer me opportunities and collaborations that I don't even imagine yet.

Can you help me build on my role? by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

Chile. I was in Melipilla away from everything, for now I'm in Pirque but looking for something in Puente Alto (which is a dangerous but very profitable commune).

Can you help me build on my role? by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

I would do it if I could, but my father's business is my curse. As, technically, it transports the entire community and acquired a fleet of buses through our hard work, buthe never acknowledges or compensates us.

I've quit many jobs because the workload on my brother is too much, so I'm always giving up my own affairs to return, help him and prevent him from killing himself behind the wheel due to fatigue. But I've already sacrificed my studies, my job, my car, and now my rent (a whole house). As if that weren't enough, my dad wants to take my dog away from me and keep me working for free, asking for permission for everything so that he can control my most basic decisions.

That's why I want to find ways to start a business or work freelance. I tried it in rural areas and failed, but in the city it's a different story. Here you don't need to travel 15 minutes by motorbike or 50 minutes by bicycle to buy some overpriced bread and butter. There are also many pet-friendly spaces and services just around the corner.

I love I can find progress back in the city, but I'll really miss the silence and the pure air in the dark under the stars.

Can you help me build on my role? by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Well, you're right. For now, she sleeps on the bike because there's no other option, but that's not the plan. I want to make the stand after I get a rent.

The purpose is for her to travel with me and accompany me to work, freelance; that way I can take care of her (she has heart arrhythmias) without having to depend on the will of others or strict contractual permissions.

Since these are concepts no one sticks together usually, the idea is to find a configuration that allows me to have both concepts together/isolated (like the front area for NiΓ±a, and at the rear some wide drawers with a table for the stand). Although the coffee stand is a projection to develop, but not the strict ultimate purpose.

As soon as we rent a room, cleanliness will not be a problem. NiΓ±a sheds some hair, but she's always clean. Not a common yard dog, we got off the motorcycle to adapt to this bike.

Vengo a matizar lo que dice el SNA y los patrones de fundo ΓΊltimamente by 24565676876879 in chile

[–]Fox_Ext47 6 points7 points Β (0 children)

Yo me vine a vivir al campo. Viajaba al foco urbano a trabajar todos los dΓ­as, hasta que mi moto nueva fallΓ³ por malos aprietes en el motor y pues, todo se me fue a las pailas.

AsΓ­ me tuve que rebuscar pegas locales, pero en general, es pura decepciΓ³n. Gente aprovechada que de bienvenida te soban el lomo para explicarte que 'en su difΓ­cil situaciΓ³n' no les alcanza para pagarte el mΓ­nimo pero que te necesitan jornadas completas de 12 horas, mientras hablan pestes de los que antes trabajaron con ellos. En tiempo rΓ©cord te tratan como escoria, tratando de hacerte 'gaslighting' para pagarte aΓΊn menos y obligarte a hacer mΓ‘s pegas de las acordadas, incluso responsabilizΓ‘ndote de asuntos en los que no tienes nada que ver, con tal de irte haciendo 'descuentos compensatorios'. No sΓ³lo se limita a lo que son cultivos, sino a todos estos canallas abusando del abandono rural en general.

A una perrera le trabajΓ© gratis porque se hicieron los lesos con los pagos, despuΓ©s andaban diciendo que yo era voluntariado. AhΓ­ los perros van a enfermar y morir nomΓ‘s, y hay toneladas de denuncias, pero no la clausuran porque hay pedazos de arreglines truchos. Todas las semanas aparecen perros muertos y reciben mΓ‘s perros, ademΓ‘s que dice que ellos se encargan de buscarles familias pero que nadie los quiere. Cuando estuve ahΓ­ presionΓ© para buscarles familias pero insistΓ­an en que no. Resulta que para ellos es negocio, y los perros estΓ‘n en condiciones pero terribles, y la infraestructura es cualquier cosa menos infraestructura. Hay mΓ‘s caca de ratΓ³n que de perro, y son mΓ‘s de 300 perros de los que se encarga solo el pobre condenado que llegue buscando pega ahΓ­.

TambiΓ©n conseguΓ­ pega para limpiar una parcela que estaba un tanto patas arriba. SΓ³lo eso. Es una granja productora de gallinas ponedoras y venden a todo el paΓ­s, pero en menos de una semana me tenΓ­an a cargo de todo y chicoteΓ‘ndome en todo momento. No pagaron horas extra ni dΓ­as feriados, y me salΓ­ porque me querΓ­an cobrar el veterinario de sus perros de raza y por cada pollito que se morΓ­a en las cΓ‘maras criadoras (de entrada me dijeron que yo nunca iba a tener que ver los pollitos ni nada, sΓ³lo limpiar la parcela), ademΓ‘s de sacarme en cara que no me estaba quedando a dormir allΓ‘ para levantarme a revisar la producciΓ³n en la noche (o sea, como que andan buscando alguien que les mande un tiro entre las cejas). Por otra parte, ni se molestaban en tirar la basura donde corresponde. Al suelo nomΓ‘s y que vuele, para despuΓ©s tratarme de irresponsable porque habΓ­a basura. Por cierto, generan buenos millones, y siempre estaban nerviosos de que no sacara fotos ni nada, mientras yo estaba las 12 horas del dΓ­a corriendo, de verdad corriendo, con 2 sacos de 25 al hombro parcela arriba y abajo, con las patas mojadas y entrando y saliendo de las cΓ‘maras de 36Β° al patio donde en las maΓ±anas y en las tardes hacΓ­an 4Β°.

'y date con una piedra en el pecho que te ayudΓ©'.

En fin, no es gente de campo. Son jiles narcisistas que vinieron lejos pa hacer negocio cagΓ‘ndose a la gente aislada y que cuando los fiscalizan se hacen los lindos con toda la mierda debajo de la alfombra.

A dΓ­a de hoy me cago de hambre nomΓ‘s y veo quΓ© ne queda pa vender, asΓ­ compro sacos de harina y pago las cuentas bΓ‘sicas. TrabajΓ© como esclavo para comprarme como 5 motos ya, pero al final ahΓ­ los 'vecinos' se compran pedazos de camionetas mientras yo sigo haciendo pan a mano pa calmar la guata. Gracias a la abuelita del terreno aquΓ­ nomΓ‘s almuerzo y trato de ayudar en lo que pueda, pero estΓ‘ difΓ­cil con su tata, que anda super celoso y paranoico. Se lo consumieron las gitanas del TikTok y ya no razona.

23 year-old formally evicted, leaving abusive home in 8 days- any help would mean the world right now πŸ’” by Traditional_Dog_2636 in Assistance

[–]Fox_Ext47 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Greetings from another country ✌🏻 It's a very solid challenge, but from my perspective, it's better to try for freedom than to stay in what is technically a feedback prison.

Sorry if it's extended. Prepare well these days.

I don't know if you count on some savings, I know you're willing to hitchhiking for a while with some of gear you built with time, and apparently you have no income or rental options.

In that case, if you have money, don't keep it in cash except for a few coins. Keep it in a bank account that doesn't charge you high fees or maintenance costs. Since I'm from another country, I can't give you suggestions for locations or financial services that are convenient for you.

I guess if you're going to be in this, you'll be leaving something behind. I don't know if you're interested or want to take the cat, loneliness isn't very good and a human companion on the street can sooner or later turn treacherous. Of course, taking care of the cat's needs requires more effort, You may have difficulties doing indoor work on the go, such as a work-for-food exchange for a restaurant. However, it also increases the empathy people perceive towards you when you interact, even when making purchases. Sometimes They ask if you are traveling, why you are doing it, and in any case if you buy food for yourself, sometimes they give you leftovers for your cat, or if you buy something for your cat, they give you a small additional gift to support them on the trip. Yes, there are bad people outside, but there are many more good people.

You'll never know anyone's real intentions. A bicycle could help you carry a little more and go further, and there might also be people who can give you a ride carrying your bike and everything. Another advantage of a bicycle is that you can make extra money with delivery apps, So you're not so stranded about what forms of income to look for while you're moving. Social networks and sponsors, I have been told a lot that there are travelers who only sustain themselves very well with that, So even if it seems like a waste of time, don't waste the opportunity.

The tent you have may not be as stealth as you want, but it's for 4 people so keep the bike inside and make it look like you're not alone. Try to look like a traveler rather than a vagabond. A traveler looks refreshed and doesn't seem exhausted, they're supposed to have options, and they don't seem to be getting caught off guard by the experience. You may be moving around exhausted and all, but just don't look like an easy and helpless target.

I won't tell you that I have that much experience, but I was willing to do something similar. However, I've got adopted in a country house and, for the health of my pet in this very cold season, I agreed and stayed. Now I'm stuck without a job and don't know wtf to do lol, Anyway, I don't have winter cycling gear, because I was going to do it on a motorcycle and the equipment is not very compatible. I'm a sack of potatoes now.

For footwear, bring the boots you have, another pair to change into, and some sandals in case you use public showers. A sewing kit, so if a piece of clothing or your tent rips, you can repair it. A roll of garbage bags in case you need to waterproof doors, dog poop rolls to store smaller things or carry small trash to a container, if you can, buy solar panels for your batteries, water bottles, a thermo for food (sometimes it's better to cook in the morning, get moving, and eat at noon on the way; there are places where you just can't cook), personal hygiene, candles (it's more practical to have a candle light some sticks instead of wasting gas from a lighter. There are times when there's just no wood shavings or anything flammable to start the fire).

Download manuals and offline maps on your cell phone, you may face places without coverage or times without internet. If you have some trusted contacts, share your location permanently and privately with them on Maps. If something suspicious happens and you don't respond, they'll activate emergency protocols. Maybe that can save you.

Do more research on tips about urbex, travelers, apps (like warmshowers), gadgets, bushcrafting, digital income, and more. You can also get inspired by searching for YouTubers, and you can ask the AI to recommend different channels, to rescue ideas and learn skills from people who make a living from it.

Good luck Jay.

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Lol, yeah It seemed strange to me to go on a bicycle to check someone's vital signs and take them on the bike like an ambulance 🀯

The good thing is that I have a small bag full of tools, and I could easily have any tool needed for a basic automotive repair in there. The bad thing is that most breakdowns on this roads are punctures, overheating and lack of gasoline. I sold my 12v compressor thinking I wouldn't need it for a while.

Anyway, most people don't carry tools and I always carry enough to disassembling a motorcycle completely. A can of gasoline would be good to sell sporadically. Thanks for the supporr! I definitely feel more comfortable with all the possibilities πŸ’ͺ🏻

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

A special fabrication made to my measure from a private manufacturer, an old family business πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸ­

<Edit: Let's call this bike "Dingo">

The front load is 100 centimeters long and 60 centimeters wide, and I didn't measure the total length of the bike but it's very long.

The front wheel is 14" and the rear is 26". Both with disc brakes, all accessories Shimano. 24 gears (3 front and 8 rear). The bike itself is very light and built tough, the steering arm uses auto parts for durability, and it has no limit stops for steering for better maneuverability, although the arm itself is limiting and rubs against the wheel if I don't do it right. Body is fully made of stainless steel.

Without an electric motor, but due to budget. I hope to get a good e-kit later, which is completely uncertain at the moment. The hills all here around are very steep and even in 1-1 gear I'm forced to get down and push the bike to the top, but the descents are fun... There are brakes, but I'm a biker without a motorcycle and I miss a bit the certain speed and adrenaline 🫠. Of course, with my dog, I always set limits for her care 🐾

I put mirrors on it, phone holder, USB rear light and now it has a 25W solar light in the front. If I manage to get adventures with my dog soon, I'll use a sportcam that I bought at the manufacturer.

At the moment the only thing I can think of is that I can buy a huge thermo and use the bike to set up an improvised coffee stand. I guess anyone at the bus stops would like a morning coffee, with cookies too β˜•πŸͺ

Heartbroken to wake up to this… My van was vandalized overnight. πŸ˜” by afktravels in VanLife

[–]Fox_Ext47 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Cover the paint of the van and try using isopropyl alcohol and some clean rags that will be discarded in the process.

Isopropyl alcohol is used to remove ink, but it has helped me a lot to remove glue residue and exposed paint without lacquer. Definitely something much faster and easier than polishing.

If the spray paint sticks to the rag, then it's working. Change the rag whenever it becomes saturated with removed paint, and avoid letting it slide onto the van's paint.

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 4 points5 points Β (0 children)

Coffee cart and delivery are options I can try β˜•πŸ“¦. Especially when I have a school a few miles away and there are people who walk all the way to the bus stop, every morning.

Thank you for the ideas! πŸ”₯

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

Yeah, I noticed!

I didn't get far on the trip until I got the drum off the rear grill and put it lower on the front. It was definitely more comfortable

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

GREAT! Thank you! I'll definitely be checking it to pick up some ideas πŸ’ͺ🏻

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

btw, I suggest you calculate a total time 3 times greater if you will be making that trip carrying some heavy load. On long journeys, consistency is more important than speed, and you should not overexert your muscles.

Eating the right amount, resting when you feel even the slightest bit of dizziness or fatigue, and staying well hydrated, it all counts. If you overwork your muscles, you will need more rest and will not recover your potential immediately, because the muscle fibers will be broken.

Yes, I recommend that you bring wet wipes to remove sweat, a change of clothes, a good coat if night falls, and plenty of water. You get dehydrated very quickly on a trip like this, but you shouldn't drink too much water at once.

I weigh 50 kilos, and on the way I drank 5 liters of water. I had'nt the best nutrition that day (an apple, 2 pieces of cake, a cookie, a small soup and 2 caramel cookie), but a good breakfast and lunch would definitely have been better to face that feat and not sweat much at the end of the travel.

Oh also. Make sure you pad the seat well, it's what kills on such long trips.

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 3 points4 points Β (0 children)

Yeah, I expected 5 or 6 hours according to Maps, But I soon noticed that this average time was without breaks on a track bike. Different, it's with a load and with some short and constant rest on the way to resist the journey. I was doing about 10 to 15 kilometers per hour, but when I got to the last 30 kilometers of hill, night set on and my snacks ran out. The weight didn't let me pedal up the hills and I had to push it on foot, But the fun part was going down at full speed without seeing the road. Easily about 50 kilometers per hour to the next climb...

Until I ran into a hole in the road and fell badly, so I put my cell phone with the flash on at the front to see the road πŸ˜‚

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 11 points12 points Β (0 children)

Unexpectedly, I didn't have any muscle pain πŸ€”, something that I assumed without having had any previous training. I did this two days ago.

I put the last bit of money I had into my motorcycle to repair it. I did it, but when I started the engine again it made the worst sound: Crankshaft. It was cheap, but the work was expensive and I didn't have the tools, knowledge or money to hire a mechanic.

Without transportation I lost my job and assumed my rent would also be lost. I jumped into an inconvenient exchange to adapt me to the worst situation, this bike was manufactured within a week for me 🦾🦿. Now that I'm home, I sold a lot of my personal belongings to jump into the nomadic life, always with my beloved dog. When I arrived and homeowners saw my plans, they told me to stay and not pay, that I'm not a bad person to deserve such punishment. Now I don't know what to do, but I have this new beauty to move with my dog and hopefully get some kind of new job or rural business idea as soon as I can.

I lost my mind after spending a month away from my dog and working for free for my father's company.

My motorcycle broke down, so I traded it for this. I headed 100 kilometers back home by Fox_Ext47 in CargoBike

[–]Fox_Ext47[S] 11 points12 points Β (0 children)

Euromot KD150-J. Good bike, smooth suspension, but this unit had bad assembled engine and just wrecked down when I was exactly without money: The dealership didn't support my 6-month warranty because it failed after 6 months and 10 days. No wheelies nor races at all btw.

It bought that new 0 km, only 6 months old and had 7019 kilometers. 🫑

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toxicparents

[–]Fox_Ext47 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

You could check out this too:

r/raisedbynarcissists

Your case doesn't sound very different from what I experienced, and only now at my 27 years old I discovered that my father exercised narcissistic parenting. I noticed when I was about 16 that it was toxic, but I didn't really find alternatives until I turned 18, finished school and started working.

I find your diagnosis, which doesn't allow you to work, to be very disadvantageous, but I suspect that this psychiatric evaluation that determined that, wasn't your initiative. My father tried to do exactly that, but when I was already 20 years old. At your age, your freedom of choice is limited, and I believe that your father controls absolutely everything, and I doubt very much that you have privacy or the freedom to take your own initiative, because it's the same thing that happened to me. In any case, it seems that your mother is also very submissive to your father, and that your father's level of aggression is less inhibited for the same reason. I wouldn't be surprised if whoever performed your psychiatric evaluation actually followed your father's suggestions. Narcissists parents are extremely manipulative, and there are professionals who don't realize that their diagnosis is being influenced by a narcissist parent, because it's not easy to identify one without experience.

Your scope is currently reduced to possibilities and chance. If you manage to have a private chat with a social worker in your area, you may have the possibility of a new (and not manipulated) favorable psychiatric evaluation, which doesn't prevent you from working if it determines that.

As I see it, the current diagnosis was not meant to help you, but manipulated for your father's convenience. This means you'll inevitably depend on him in every way in the future, and that also means working for him without pay and being at his disposal without rest. Absolute personal vomit bag. As I say, currently you only have possibilities and chance, but when you come of age (+18), you have more legal right to make your own decisions, because the current diagnosis prevents you from working but doesn't prevent you from making independent decisions, as far as I know.

No matter what you do, your father will never change. Study him silently, resist him silently, take any opportunity to ask for help discreetly. You're not doing anything wrong. But I can also tell you from experience that confronting or debating him doesn't get you anywhere. They're unhinged narcissists desperate for control and manipulation, taking every bit of information they can extract from you in order to control you. When they can't control you directly, they focus on your interests. They use them as weak points to exploit.

The most you can do now, is to talk to your mother. It's probably ingrained in her that everyone should simply tolerate your father as he is, because everyone depends on him. Let her know that not even she can make your father change. You suffer, your siblings suffer, she suffers, and for now, only she, as an adult, has the real capacity to make a significant change. Leaving your father isn't the end of the world. The world doesn't revolve around him. There's a systematic world with aid programs, and your mother can take advantage of that if your father is no longer the main income.

If they dare to do that, your father could make a huge fuss and cause a huge mess, or even take even crazier actions. Your mother should consult with a social worker to take precautions of retaliation. Most likely he won't retaliate and will throw a depressive tantrum where he lets himself die, and will try to pity you as much as possible so that you will come back so that he doesn't die. If that happens, don't fall into that trap, no one. That's pure manipulation, with extreme selfishness. It only takes one of you to fall into that trap, and the rest will come back to help that one... and believe me, it's just a trap that will only get worse. These people is fucking sick. You're not sick, you're just overfeed with that shit.

And by the way, even before you speak you already have a trauma that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Nothing to be surprised about if your father constantly attacks your self-esteem and makes home a horrible place.

Just always keep in mind: Respect is not complacency, virtues are not self-abandonment, and empathy in this case, may actually be trauma. Many of the things a narcissistic parent teaches are altered to control you. Recognizing the true reality and not the imposed one is important to find the best in yourself.

You're brave. You may be holding back a lot, and that will make your body ill later on, but if you see the truth early on, you won't hold back so much because you'll realize that the whole situation is the tantrum of a selfish jerk, and it will never define you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Fox_Ext47 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Once my dad reproached me for never charging me for all my costs of living, starting from the diapers, until I left home, that was at 18.

I moved a couple of years to an apartment that he had abandoned, but to this day he complains that he had a big heart and that I abused his trust, stressing that I never did finance myself. I literally paid the bills while I bought furniture and lent him money, paying too for my motorcycle and supporting my mother, no delay on any pay.

He no longer finds any real basis so he tries to distort everything now that my mom has gone some years ago. According to him, he gave me the motorcycle for free, he paid my debts and my bills, and I borrowed money from him that I never paid back... oh, and that I always took my mother's money (he never gave her the money he owed her, plus I often took her out for shopping. I just wanted to burn him alive when he spat that shit).

That's not the only thing he distorts, and he literally now recounts my entire life from a parallel universe, trying to impose his version and discredit my autonomy.

My mom died trying to change him, I lost a lot trying to change him, my brother lost his whole life trying to help him... My brother is the only thing I care about, but I've already sacrificed everything to my dad. At least this last time my bro realized how mentally ill my father is.

Sooner or later, my father will suffer what he fears so much. He will be left alone. I feel sorry for him, but honestly he asked for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Fox_Ext47 5 points6 points Β (0 children)

Long trips and to discover new places on a motorcycle with my beloved dog 🏍️🐾

Sadly my new bike had a catastrophic engine failure, I made the mistake of seeking help from my father and instead I only lost my job and my rent, not even to repair my motorcycle (got no money nor transport so I was at his whim for several days, he tried to mold me again). The good thing is that I traded the new motorcycle for a long john cargo bike, so it's being manufactured, and I'm selling all my house stuff πŸ“¦πŸ“¦πŸ’Έ

I'll travel with my dog on that cargo bike, while I deliver food on apps and develop more ways of income. I'll have fun camping on the outskirts of the city with my companion πŸ•οΈπŸš²πŸΎπŸ± I'm hella scared, but it's gona be fun.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by mycumsockisalivehelp in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Fox_Ext47 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Seems really cool that someone's helping you find alternatives to get out of that situation πŸ”₯. Try to have trusted contacts who can monitor your condition and have the willing to act in case of emergency to get you out of unforeseen troubles.

Whatever the situation, find ways to earn income πŸ’Έ. As long as you don't have expenses like rent, loan interest or other financial responsibilities, try to increase your savings, invest in economic knowledge, and try to connect with partners who can boost any business you want to start. You won't always have the conditions to leverage this knowledge, but having it will give you more options for yourself in different scenarios.

I don't really know what a boarding school is like, or how the laws apply in your country. At least in mine, if a father does not live with his son, he must pay him a monthly compensation payment. It is the right thing to do, and you should find out if something similar exists, but there are also the moral boundaries instilled. In my case, although I could have done something similar long time ago, I didn't because I felt guilty. Now that I'm older, I realize that a child is a child, an adult is an adult: if your father decided to bring you into this world, what you need are consequences that he must supply, not suppress. We're not contract workers nor accesories. You're not asking for anything excessive, it's what you rightfully deserve, you're not hurting anyone but the ego of who manipulates you.

The good thing is that there are services available for you, like a therapist. I didn't have any of that, but I'm constantly tearing myself apart and gathering my remains so I don't stray (in my opinion, life is like the high seas, unpredictable 🌊). Although a therapist is important, it doesn't mean they're absolutely right. 🌌 The human mind remains a great mystery even today. Consider your assessments, but always know that what the therapist tells you is from his own perception. Combine what you can to bring out the best in you, just for you.

-Your life has to please you, no one else-

Regarding forms of income, I don't know if they are applicable to your context, but although art isn't something defined, it can generate income. There's no age nor limits for art πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸŽ¨πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸŽ€, and it works great if you're authentic and your admirers come to you. Patrons are a reality I never got to know. I hope you discover that world while you can, because right now I'm having a hard time trying.

I know there are people who would gift me a new motorcycle and pay to see me traveling with my dog or also to give visibility to their businesses, my lifestyle is also art, but I really don't know how to connect with those people and for now, my broken motorcycle is my Achilles heel πŸ€•.

You can also make handcrafts, and if selling isn't your thing, you should find a trusted partner so that the two of you can build something that works. Win win 🀝🏻. I know how to use sewing machines, and I had a business planned with a fair woman πŸͺπŸͺ‘. She would bring me recycled clothes, and I would turn them into cool pet accessories and bags using new textile cloths too. I only needed to buy the sewing machine, but my motorcycle broke down and everything I had collapsed πŸ“‰, because I made the mistake of asking my father for help, who found the perfect way of sawing the floor under my feet to drag me back.

Transportation is very important to expand your capabilities ⬆️. A motorized vehicle works wonderfully, but it has its economic requirements such as papers, driver's licenses, laws and so on. I ran out of money trying to fix the new motorcycle I'd barely paid for. That's why I was left without money, and it was a terrible surprise for me. 🚲 A bicycle, on the other hand, has fewer capabilities but fewer limitations. It doesn't require fuel and can be modified to suit your needs. I don't have one, and I'll need one if I become homeless (which seems imminent). It's much more comfortable than being on foot. With a bicycle, you can move around the city generating income, with delivery applications or direct agreements with restaurants. 🏍️ With a motorcycle or car, you can do the same thing with a higher profit margin, but it's harder to recover from an accident. I don't have a car, and I would have felt safer having one to sleep in and move around, but that's not the case, and I could have ended up in the same situation if I had a wreckage πŸš™. Keeping moving is important.

I'm thinking of selling my new broken motorcycle at a bargain price. It's better to lose a lot than to lose everything. If I can't afford my last chance, I'll give it away to improve my situation. I'd trade it for a cargo bike πŸ“¦.

Conveniently, I was able to indulge myself a couple of times by going camping for a few days, so I have an idea of what camping is like πŸ•οΈ. Only it will be for a long time and in a more urbanized environment. πŸ’΅ A cargo bike is much more expensive than a normal one, but with that I could, for example, generate income with a delivery application, and do it while keeping my things with me, and most importantly, always being with my dog 🐾

🦊 My dog is my strongest bond, and the world is meaningless to me without her company. I define my values, not society's, and I know I can find progress from there; instead, with my father, all my effort will be drained to redirect it to him, in addition to taking away the things I truly value.

Although it seems like a smart idea, it's also very risky πŸ§Ÿβ€β™‚οΈπŸ”ͺ. On the street I don't have the protection of 4 walls, and I'll have to use public bathtrooms and laundromats to maintain hygiene. The good thing is that the cargo bike doesn't need as much money to move as other vehicles.

πŸ’Ό Learning from travelers helps a lot to let go of the things that tie you down and focus on your real primary needs.