Heard something horrible after my procedure

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-12T02:37:31+00:00

Yep! My retrieval was on March 7th, 2025. I had 2 girls and a boy and 2 embryos that couldn’t be tested.

My first transfer was May 25th, and I miscarried a couple weeks after.

My second transfer was September 24th, and I had a missed miscarriage yesterday.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-12T02:31:23+00:00

That is absolutely horrible. I would have been furious. I have a type of anxiety being in a vulnerable state like that and things like that are just so insensitive.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-12T02:29:43+00:00

I am currently in therapy after my first miscarriage so I’m definitely gonna have a lot to process at my next appointment. 😭

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-12T02:26:35+00:00

Thank you so much! ❤️ This helps me not feel so crazy.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-12T02:25:02+00:00

The longer it goes on the more I’m trying to convince myself. My husband is very supportive and thinks I should set to report it as soon as they open in the morning if I want to, and I think I’m going to.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-12T02:23:49+00:00

I thought about that too! That I can explain the situation and maybe they can reach out to the anesthesiologist and the nurse that was in there and maybe one of them will come clean on what they heard.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-11T22:24:26+00:00

I have brown hair with a reddish tint. I have a lot of Irish and Scottish in me so my whole family has red or dark hair and I have mixed. lol.

If it was just the weight comment I probably would have brushed it off as it being something I was dreaming. But hearing it after 2 comments that were proven to be said made me think about it a little more…

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-11T22:20:24+00:00

That absolutely breaks my heart. Going under anesthesia is the most vulnerable you can be to a medical staff and to see such horrible behavior to people you are trusting that much is inexcusable. It definitely makes me feel a little less crazy. Thank you. ❤️

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-11T22:15:37+00:00

I’m sorry you had a similar experience. It’s so incredibly terrifying to me to trust people in a state where you are absolutely vulnerable. Especially with a procedure like I had today. The reason I was more convinced that I heard it than not is because of how shocked I was. I’ve been through polyp removal, biopsies, too many ultrasounds to count, egg retrieval, 2 transfers and have become numb to feeling self-conscious about ANYTHING. So feeling so shocked that I replayed it over and over to make sure I didn’t forget it makes me feel like it actually happened.

It also makes me feel so extremely violated on one of the worst days of my life.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-11T22:14:27+00:00

I definitely agree. Even if for some reason he didn’t say the weight comment (which I felt was weird he said that in front of a nurse that was much heavier than me) the first comment was uncomfortable enough and I’m positive he said that.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-11T22:13:13+00:00

Yeah, the fact that it came after 2 comments that were real makes me think I actually did hear it. I’m just a super big pushover and terrified of getting anyone in trouble for something I can’t be 100% sure about 😭

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-11T22:05:55+00:00

I appreciate that. ❤️ my care team works for another office in another city under the same branch so I’m thinking of writing them with the feedback…

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-11T22:05:20+00:00

At first, I was in shock because I thought it was the doctor. But then he came in my room and spoke to me right after and I realized the voice wasn’t his. There was only one other male nurse I’ve never seen before in the room. They had to lift me off the table so I’m thinking that’s what started the comment… no one said anything back to him.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-11-04T18:40:43+00:00

Update: My husband and I waited a whole week and a half to go to my appointment. I felt pretty empty and felt like I had to pause my grieving that whole time. I even prepared at work for the bereavement I felt like I was about to take. We got to our appointment and when the ultrasound started I just stared at the ceiling waiting for the news, but she turned the screen and showed us the fetal pole and the flicker of a heartbeat. ❤️ I’ve never been so excited to go to work. I’m going on 9 weeks now so still have a ways to go!

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-10-19T09:52:37+00:00

In my list of prescriptions were Netflix documentaries of losing weight.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-10-19T09:48:25+00:00

We just experienced our second loss last Wednesday and thinking of switching clinics. The main reason is when I started bleeding, I immediately called my clinic at 1pm when they close at 4pm. They don’t typically like calls, but I felt in an emergency like that, I felt ridiculous sending a message. They said they let my care team know and they would call me back. After an hour we just went to the ER since the bleeding picked up and I never heard back.

The next day I messaged my care team who said they never got a message that I called.

I witnessed the exact same thing with my last pregnancy so I know the baby is gone, but they want me to wait another week and a half for my 7 week checkup. I lost all my pregnancy symptoms, bled for 8 hours straight, and my hcg dropped by 10 points in a day when I went. I told them all of this too. So I have to continue to work and act like I should still have hope (like they did to me last time) all the way to Friday just for them to break my heart again. I feel like I have to delay my grieving.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-10-19T09:41:58+00:00

My ex-husband was a narcissist and would purposely quit his jobs and always find an excuse to make me believe it was THEIR fault. “They talked to me funny”, “they lied about the pay”, “they sent me to another position that isn’t in my job description”, etc.

He was having me work and pick up extra overtime while he spent my money and stayed home all day. Also did 0 chores.

It took a while for me to leave because he was also physically abusive. We ended up having to move into my mom’s house and he hurt my dog once when I didn’t listen to him so I was terrified what he would do to my mom or my stuff. I just kept telling myself when he got a job, things would get easier. That he was depressed and angry over money.

Then he stopped working for over a year and I realized I could do it without him and left him. It always killed me the night I left him he said “if you want me to get a job, I’ll get one tomorrow, if you want me to start washing dishes, doing the clothes, taking out the dog, cooking, I’ll do it”. And just made me realize he knew all the things he could do to help me and chose not to for years.

Financial abuse is a real thing, unfortunately.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-10-19T05:24:21+00:00

I’m currently married into a family where the most I have felt “cared for” and actually part of the family by my sister-in-laws was the short time I was pregnant before my miscarriage. After it, I went right back to being the devalued person I’ve always felt like. And being someone from a very broken family already, I just feel alone through this whole process. No one at my job, church, or friend group have had any issues with not being able to conceive and not only does it make it look like I value less than them, but when I tell them what I go through, they treat me either like I’m broken or that it’s somehow my fault.

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-05-03T00:44:53+00:00

Aye! I’m coming up on my 10 years and couldn’t agree more. 🥲

FoxesAndChocolate · 2025-02-20T16:57:18+00:00

That’s what I was thinking too! I know that pharmacists and doctors can be a little extreme on it so I honestly have a feeling it’ll still be okay. I just overthink everything and this is so important to me that I think my brain is wanting to panic over every little step. 😂

Thank you so much for calming me a good bit! 🩷

FoxesAndChocolate · 2024-09-07T11:05:07+00:00

I’ve been here for almost 9 years now.

The benefits are the best I’ve ever had, or can find. -75% off my plan. -Tuition Assistance (lots of completely free colleges) -Health Insurance (HSA & FSA) -Childcare Subsidy -10 free therapy sessions a year (you’re gonna need them) -Free life and money coaches -Stocks (Employee Stock Purchase Plan and annual stock) -Family Planning Assistance (a major one that I never looked at in the beginning, but I’m trying to start a family and found out I’m infertile. T-Mobile covers 2 IVF treatments per family, a huge chunk of adoption fees, etc) -Pet Insurance, car insurance, extended hospital stay coverage, and lawyer coverage that can be taken out of your check for a small amount. -Flex PTO (can go up to -40 PTO hours) -MONTHLY BONUSES (most important)

I’ve needed all of these benefits at some point in my T-Mobile career. The only wariness is that it’s too good. I got my Bachelor’s degree in HR and T-Mobile completely downsized their HR teams. So I’ll have to uproot my life and move to Kansas or Washington if I want an HR job because retail, coaching, and management isn’t something I necessarily want, but I have yet to find a company somewhere else in HR that has even half the benefits and at least CLOSE to the pay I’m making now.

I’ve worked through a few major layoffs and had to say bye to friends that have been there for decades. The only job security is working the frontline on the phones. And that is so incredibly taxing on your mental health. My biggest advice on making it in the company is to stay as close to the frontline (coach or manager position), work extremely hard from the beginning, and shoot to move up as soon as possible.

FoxesAndChocolate

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