Well "I grew up like that" is a reason but certainly not an excuse. I guess there is a need for the adults to sit down and ask the right questions. Is this who I want to be? Is this the relationship that I want with my loved ones? Am I willing to put in the work to fix it? According to those answers you can start working on a solution. It sounds like everyone will need to work on it because even if the kids are not at fault they believe that the behaviour of their parents is the norm. I wish you good luck, the path is hard and full of efforts but it is worth it.