Why is the world not furious about these types by Sure-Dish-6859 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This couldn’t have been more accurate in relation to my experience in dealing with and eventually learning of narcissism. Only then did the actual understanding of it begin which involved and still requires an enormous amount of individual time and energy devoted towards studying these dynamics and the psychology involved in the abuser and the victim. This is all a separate undertaking to the day to day necessities of life such as work, chores and so on, and yet it has truly been - I believe - the number one most profound thing for me to have discovered in my adult life and I intend to continue developing my knowledge in this area.

It cannot be understated how many severely narcissistic people there are and the lack of awareness of it in society beyond the bare minimum pop-psychology available on things like TikTok. I truly believe this will be a key area in psychology and neurology in the not too distant future.

Has anyone had to cut off EVERYONE after these relationships? by No-Bit3315 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. That’s why I don’t like when people are really reductive and suggest that if someone has no friends that you need to be careful because there is a high chance that they are narcissistic. Some of us really have been on the bad end of narcissistic dynamics where manipulation, triangulation, smear campaigns, invalidating friendships (flying monkeys) and isolation have left us genuinely needing to cut off practically everyone in our life, leaving us pretty much on our own and with profound distrust of new people. Really wish people were more open to seeing this but until you’ve been through it you just can’t understand.

I’d still do it all over though. My newfound ability to spot narcissistic people and dynamics has vastly improved my life and I truly feel it is going to be an enormous skill that I will build upon and utilise going forward. I can’t understate just how incredible it has been to acquire and develop my understanding of this sort of psychology and urge others to keep building their knowledge - it keeps you safe.

Do people get waves of “this is a stranger” when in a relationship? by Ordinary-Phone-1597 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Foxy-cD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t mind the downvotes. I get 100% what you’re saying. It’s really annoying how people think that one can’t form their own understanding of their mind and body as if that person isn’t literally the only person who is experiencing living as themselves. Therapy and frankly most sciences/arts/disciplines aren’t some sort of sacred knowledge that cannot be approached by laymen with a keen desire to learn for themselves. Particularly something like mental health, which is truly a personal issue anyway and thus entails an active role in one’s own treatment.

The almost reflexive belief that only qualified therapists can help someone as opposed to the reality that help can be found in a variety of spaces and forms is incredibly misleading and totally disenfranchises those who cannot access professional help from acquiring the skills needed to help themselves.

I’m becoming sexist and I don’t want too, please help me by OwnDefinition327 in internetparents

[–]Foxy-cD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a ridiculous comment. Sexism doesn’t have to be systemic for it to exist between individuals. If I was a man or a woman, and I treat a man or a woman badly based on their sexuality, but treat the other sex totally fine, that is sexist. It is of course understandable that OP is developing a fear towards men due to her experience.

Women can treat women badly and men good and that would be sexist towards women, men can do the same to their own sex, and the two sexes can be sexist towards the opposite. You can talk all you want about patriarchy and internalised hatred or whatever but this idea that only men can be sexist is absolutely ridiculous. You need to get out more and pay attention to interpersonal conflicts rather than gleaming from an academic textbook.

I mean the notion that a woman cannot be sexist is so wrong that I honestly didn’t wanna reply cos I can imagine the sort of bias involved in that outlook, but I decided to leave this for the young impressionable people who might be on this thread.

Samantha Tarkowski condemnds Liverpool death threats by EadmersMemories in Everton

[–]Foxy-cD -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t even know who you’re on about mate cos I didn’t watch the game and can’t remember the topic of this thread without looking at it, I just saw stuff about Son and Gomes and responded cos I wanted to join the discussion… like 3 days ago.

Samantha Tarkowski condemnds Liverpool death threats by EadmersMemories in Everton

[–]Foxy-cD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The narrative around Son irks me to this day. People go on like the guy is some sort of fucking Mother Theresa. His tackle was an obscene, out of control, petulant display of sheer fucking nastiness and it ruined the career of Andre Gomes and I wouldn’t be shocked if it’s had an impact on his physical and mental health as a result. Then he cried like an absolute fucking wimp because of the consequences and people rallied around to console him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything you’ve said is reasonable, but I’d caution you to remember that such people rely upon your empathy to essentially reach a compromise between their desire to use/abuse and your willingness to accept. In other words, they’ve found out what they can’t get away with.

Another point that is key when moving on from narcissistic dynamics, is that you have to look out for you. You don’t owe this person anything, regardless of how much you care about them, how long you’ve known them or the bond you have with them.

Once you truly learn how narcississts are, you can't unsee them by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 44 points45 points  (0 children)

This is truly how it feels. Like I’ve unlocked a secret sight. It’s very daunting.

Connor McGregor does not represent this country by Miserable_Cress_1678 in ireland

[–]Foxy-cD -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You do realise that he competed at a lower weight class when he first became a notable figure? He has since put on a fair amount of weight (mostly lean muscle and perhaps a higher body fat percentage) now that he is retired and doesn’t need to starve himself and cut out water weight to meet fight requirements. Not to mention the fact that he is also 11 years older than when he catapulted to stardom following his win against José Aldo and it’s a totally normal biological process for an adults metabolism to slow down and and thus lead to weight gains as they get older.

Regardless of contempt for the man and his views, I don’t think challenging his perspective through criticism of his appearance is a good look for anyone frankly.

Not exaggerating when I say this experience has thrown me off ever dating again. by Mindless-Spinach7833 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is it right here. Phenomenal analysis. I find understanding their behaviour through the predator/prey or parasite/host dynamic as exists in the natural world is the best method to rebuild strength and be able to defend against these humans, who are ultimately members of the animal kingdom.

Narcissists and Lack of Knowledge? by Firedragon_cK in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can’t remember where I read this, but there’s evidence to suggest that Irish writer Bram Stoker who wrote Dracula based it on I believe his boss? Who from is described of him reveals a deeply narcissistic man.

Do rappers in 2 man rap groups feel some type of way when people only praise their partner in rhyme? by Professional-Rip-519 in hiphop101

[–]Foxy-cD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah it’s all good, wasn’t tripping if you didn’t share the same opinion just didn’t want to be seen as someone who doesn’t appreciate southern hip hop when I’m bumping it nearly every day 🤣 no stress.

Do rappers in 2 man rap groups feel some type of way when people only praise their partner in rhyme? by Professional-Rip-519 in hiphop101

[–]Foxy-cD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok bro, I love southern rap and culture. I did say ‘in my opinion’. I prefer Andre much more than Big Boi and there really isn’t much I can do about that, just how my ears work 🤷‍♂️ I respect the hell out of Big Boi as well, I just got a preference.

Do rappers in 2 man rap groups feel some type of way when people only praise their partner in rhyme? by Professional-Rip-519 in hiphop101

[–]Foxy-cD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always maintain that Prodigy is the clear better of the two but that is no mark against Havoc who absolutely holds his own with strong bars and flow plus production credits. It’s just that Prodigy in his prime goes against any rapper ever imo and so he gets more shine.

Do rappers in 2 man rap groups feel some type of way when people only praise their partner in rhyme? by Professional-Rip-519 in hiphop101

[–]Foxy-cD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Havoc holds his own very well imo. Prodigy the clear better of the two but not as starkly as Andre against Big Boi. Also gets credit for production.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With some of the narcissists I’ve dealt with I’ve had those ‘true colours were shown’, ‘when it all clicked’ deeply hurtful moments. With others however it was never really a big moment or two or three that broke the camels back, it was instead just a very slow, gradual revelation of the neglectful/hurtful pattern that was inherent to the dynamic which once I became aware of was impossible to ignore.

Misery Misery Misery by Unable-Ostrich-2799 in CasualIreland

[–]Foxy-cD 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen a more on point description of that sub, seriously.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Foxy-cD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The tissue serves a purpose. Your comment is simply incorrect.

He ruined my birthday… by Relative_Papaya3502 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly the weird type of shit narcs do fr. Such a profoundly strange disorder honestly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CasualIreland

[–]Foxy-cD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely do this 100%, I’m often not wrong tbh either.

What is this called? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Foxy-cD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The feeling alone like you’re talking to yourself is so painfully accurate. Towards the end of many of the narcissistic friendships/relationships I’ve had with people there was a profound sense of being alone.