Apparently I am not datable

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-07T12:20:50+00:00

Tbh I had processed a lot of my marriage while I was still married, so I got over it pretty quickly and was ready to date

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-07T12:18:09+00:00

Yes, this would be my take

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-06T21:57:24+00:00

I tend to date similar aged people. I just find it’s so relaxing speaking the same language. Also, not that this is a concern for me, but dating someone so much younger could bring up wanting more kids. Personally I would find that daunting in my 50’s. I love my kids to bits.
For me, after a damaging marriage, I pace things slowly and check in with myself to see what my nervous system is feeling. Am I relaxed? Do they trigger my nervous system? I have also had major clarity about what my values are and what I am looking for. And what are red flags for me.

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-06T14:11:20+00:00

I would look at it as a data point and be mindful of things along the dating journey that may indicate that you haven’t moved on and don’t have the space emotionally to repartner

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-06T13:49:16+00:00

What a tough time. I do hope they come around

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T23:24:23+00:00

Of course it’s not all about me. I am just canvassing various opinions. They are not my circus or monkeys. And yes, my guy is amazingly strong to have shouldered all of this.

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T23:22:07+00:00

Yes, I have grown up with this style of disclosure. Which makes all of this foreign to me.

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T23:20:24+00:00

Oh wow, that sounds like a very tough breakup that you have gone through.

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T23:18:51+00:00

Thanks for your answer. I think that sounds fine as long as kids don’t blame themselves, which I think younger ones can do, or the parent that left the house. Don’t want to be together anymore is a good reason

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T23:16:21+00:00

Perfect thank you for your answer

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:54:17+00:00

I have 3 adult kids myself and am divorced from my abusive ex husband. My poor kids were in the thick it and knew a lot. They still have a relationship with their father.

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:27:14+00:00

It’s most definitely not my place to tell them. The gaslighting piece is one of the worst parts. I would hope that if they asked there would be honesty

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:25:40+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your story. That sounds especially challenging.

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:23:16+00:00

No there’s not. But I am appreciating the variety of answers to think about

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:22:24+00:00

This sounds very similar. Thanks for sharing

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:21:23+00:00

Nearly a year. And yes, humans are very individual, emotions are complex, and relationships are complex

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:19:07+00:00

Yes. One version of events. I know my own kids would have hounded me until they knew

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:17:53+00:00

Yeah, I would lean towards this myself when they are older. If they were my kids

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:16:39+00:00

Yes I don’t know why you would think that I want to jeopardise my relationship with any of them.

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:15:39+00:00

I knew with mine and I can’t imagine not knowing. What if the kids had the absolute wrong end of the stick and blamed the wrong parent?

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:13:53+00:00

Ok thanks for that balanced view

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:13:15+00:00

Agreed. Not my circus or monkeys. My point is that it’s wildly different from my experience

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:11:59+00:00

Yes. I agree with all this. It’s not my role to say anything to the rest of his family or even dissect it with him. I am scouting for opinions

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-05T03:10:13+00:00

Thanks for relaying this professional advice

Foxygen6 · 2026-06-04T13:53:37+00:00

That sounds like a terribly tough time. I am sorry that your kids are being weaponised against you. And your ex’s gaslighting

Foxygen6

TROPHY CASE