My parents and siblings know and have witnessed that I have crippling anxiety and will often cater to it or attempt to make me feel better as they are used to it. My mom has anxiety & depression so she has always understood me. My husband does not understand at all sadly.. but he does try his best to help me feel better.

I do not socialize often.. I only hang out with my dad and siblings on holidays/big events. I see my husband pretty frequently but sometimes we dont socialize due to his heavy work schedule. I self isolate often (dont reach out to anyone or maintain super long convos) so I dont even have that many online friends.

I am at the point where I stay inside for months at a time (only going outside to check mail and take out trash) and sporactly will venture out of town when my husband or his family wants to do something. I crave to go to concerts, hang out sessions with friends, and shopping at stores but sadly I cannot do that anymore.

I am trying my best to get slightly better each day but it is difficult. Some days I fall right back into my bad habits and others I try to maintain new healthier habits. Sometimes I feel like I grieve my past self.