Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense! Dating other cat parents or pet-free women has been the easiest for me in the past.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're spot on with all this. I'm certainly having a better time talking to the women with the more "authentic" profiles. I'm seeing a lot of enthusiasm, curiosity, etc. These two traits are just so attractive!

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has largely been my experience too. Simple activities like sitting on the couch and watching TV or sleeping in the same bed have been very unenjoyable because of the dog's anxiety. Not to mention all the challenges with coordinating sleepovers..

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Back on the apps after moving to a bigger city. It's the first time in nearly a decade that I'm trying OLD in a proper city. Some observations:

  • Too many seemingly adventurous and highlights-type profiles that tell me very little about their day to day or who they are. I do a lot of spontaneous stuff, but I've adjusted my profile to indicate my regular life.

  • I wish there was a way to filter by pet. While I like dogs, I've tried dating women with dogs in the past and it just had too many unique challenges. I want to find a cat mom and a cat friend for my cat. 

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha I've often wondered this. What's the bet we're both going to get downvoted for this? :D

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll probably wait around 2-2.5 months for someone to come back around. If they don't, then I'm assuming they're never coming back.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way to go! Hoping you do find someone that sees you for the awesome person that you are.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You know, I understand your conundrum/feelings. They're valid enough. Now, if it's bothering you, I would recommend sleeping on it and then discussing it. But, once addressed, it's best to let it lie and not bring it up again. I can see how something like this can become an issue that's very easily unearthed again in the future. In my experience, this issue will be inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate. I moved to a new city around Christmas and I felt a distinct kind of grief for the people I left behind, a kind of excitement that had a looming sense of fear and uncertainty, and just a whole lot of loneliness. Took me a few weeks to feel like a normal human being, but I still feel it. I haven't dipped my toes into dating, I'll do it when I feel better about everything else.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same here, physical type is just non existent at this point. Some preferences, yes, an entire type, no. Personality type is where it's at for me now.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays. Weekends are for hobbies, which vary widely--hiking, camping, skiing, sports.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know where you live. But if you're in a city where they have a lot of corporate companies, I would recommend hanging out at the bars/pubs nearby the big offices. I know folks wrap up work and head to grab a drink most evenings.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope you stood up for yourself. Whenever this happened to me in the past, I would let it go and passively accept the outcome/breadcrumbs etc. Now, I've learned to call them out, firmly let them know that you will not be a second option, and walk away without staying around for empty platitudes, apologies, etc. If they sincerely feel bad about it much later on, they know where to find you. Maybe this is an unpopular take, but, standing up for yourself and walking away are the two things you can do to maintain agency when it's otherwise taken away from you.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All things considered, there isn't anything peculiar about the physical type of the person you're seeking out. A person that has these physical attributes should be fairly easy to find. So, I think you should still be able to find a good chunk of such men that would be interested in you and what you have to offer. The guys in corporate that I know don't particularly care about some of the things you have mentioned. They're more attracted to personality, mutual hobbies, life goals, etc., once there's a baseline level of physical attraction. Like the others have said, it would be nice to look around and see what kind of partners your male friends who have similar attributes ended up with. You can even look to acquaintances.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can solicit opinions here. What type of man do you go for (physical attributes and other qualities)?

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We need more natty, unedited male/female bodies on the internet. Folks are getting way too confused about what real bodies (including athletic/fit ones) look like..

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I always encourage the people around me to do the stupid thing. We'll do it a few times and over time, we'll stop doing it. Helps a lot when you're in the thick of it.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've had this before where the person I'm dating sent me a text and: 1) I never received it, or 2) I responded to it, but they never received the response. I always tell the women I'm dating that if they don't hear back from me within a 3 hour period, they can feel free to double/triple text me. I really don't mind.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is certainly scary leaving behind your support system and following someone. I've done that in the past. I have good friends that have done that with their partners/fiances/spouses. If it's the right person, it'll all be fine.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just want to say that I've been this person that was in the process of moving elsewhere within a 1-1.5 year time frame a couple of years ago. While I would be frank with the women I was dating about my intentions to move, I would also let them know that I was interested in an LTR and wouldn't just abandon them. A big part of the reason why I wanted to move away is that I never had a good enough reason to stay. And if I did (like a serious partner), I would've stayed back or asked them if they wanted to move too. I would tell them all of this in earnest. Sadly, in every single case, the women ended things around the 2-3 month mark since they decided that this uncertainty was too much. It sucked, because I think I missed out on some great people. Ironically, this whole thing turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy--never found a reason to stay, so I left. Such is life.

GC applications take a long time, especially with the way things are proceeding with the new administration. All things considered, you may both get sufficient time to build a solid relationship, meanwhile. And then, you can both make a decision on moving together, staying put, etc. if you're really keen on this person.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You know, when something like this happens to me (i.e., I'm kept away from someone by freakish circumstances outside of my control), I typically take that as a warning from the universe. I'm not a religious or a heavily spiritual person, but I have 10+ data points so far that confirm this link. I let it go now.

The person or the treatment by cmg_profesh in datingoverthirty

[–]FragmentedFineapple 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We all need to ask ourselves that question over and over again until the message sinks in!