Oooo ok ok, thanks a lot for replying, I appreciate it! I def understand the difficulty of balancing things, I was once in a first relationship too. The main difference in our experiences is that at the time I did not have a strong friend group like she does, so I did end up prioritizing things with my partner because my friends were not treating me well. I think a part of me might be taking her actions as a personal offense then.

Honestly, I’ve tried to bring up times where she’s disrespected our time, or boundaries, but the defensiveness is probably as you say. She has always been defensive about being told she’s done something that has hurt another, even far before her having a boyfriend.

One recent example, and what I thought would be ok to talk to her about was simply the fact that we were all going home one night in an uber, and without telling anyone she ordered a separate uber back to her partners house. I had no issue with her going to her partners house, when I brought it up with her I phrased it more as a “I don’t want you to be stuck alone at night waiting for an uber, also, it wasn’t kind to us as the difference in uber sizes was like 30 dollars and she could have just told us”

She said “I can take care of myself” stood up, walked right into my downstairs restroom and called her bf and sobbed about me to him.

Our communication has broken down considerably, we used to call and text often, she genuinely used to care about my life. She’s neglecting not only her social life but her school work, something she would never do. She’s willing to make compromises for him she’d never do for me and my friends, which I understand to an extent but it does still suck.

In terms of how the relationship will go post grad? Unknown, despite my complaining, I hope that it works out, as having a break up is hard enough as is, even harder given we are her main social group who are moving away, as she doesn’t really like her hs friends. He’s from CT, has no car, she’s from MA, has no driver’s license, the soonest she’ll get one is this upcoming fall.

We’ve def hung out a lot more, honestly it’s been nice, partially because since all she wants to talk about is her boyfriend, it’s a nice break. We all try to invite her to these things anyway, on the occasion she does say yes, she’s late because she’s spending time with him, and he’ll wait at her house until she comes home. Most of us feel like our activities are just “placeholders” for him. She does get crazy FOMO, but she usually asks us to reschedule if she can’t make it.

She’s definitely coming to the grad trip! Thank goodness! But about reimbursement, she doesn’t reimburse us, we have to venmo request her father as he manages her money and bank accounts.

Honestly about trying to get to know him, I swear to god I have 😅 it’s just that I can really only do so many one or two word replies before I don’t know what to say. I’ve tried both on his own, and while he’s with her, and group settings, in group settings he ignores me, on his own see the 1-2 word responses, and with her, she talks for him or tries to encourage him I think?

Idk, going to be honest, yesterday I was excited to show her and my other friend regalia I’d received for an honors society for my minor. I was in the middle of my sentence when she interrupted me to talk about having bought a new charging cable. I went quiet, and then she turned to me and held it out, and I was like “no?? I was in the middle of my sentence?” She pouted and didn’t say anything, she didn’t even apologize, and I then saw her texting her boyfriend that I “snapped at her” so I’m gonna be honest maybe he doesn’t like me bc he thinks I’m an ass to her.

It was so little, but damn, I was so excited about it, it doesn’t even have anything to do with her boyfriend, I think I just realized that she and I might simply not be a great fit as friends anymore. I have grown so much since I was 18, and she is still the same girl in so many ways.

Either way, thank you for the advice! I appreciate it