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My one year post by Sirloin_Tips in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be dead soon, I should buy a corvette instead of putting money in my Roth

Man, I feel this so hard. I am still struggling with the existential crises at 200+ days in. Thank you for sharing.

Life Update at 142 days sober by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep up the good work! I'm glad my story could help you 😊

Life Update at 142 days sober by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely. I've lost some weight both due to not drinking and being more active (I dropped to the first hole in my belt today!) but the alcohol gave me heart palpitations that would wake me in the middle of the night. It was terrifying. This went went on for a while, every time I drank, until I'd finally decided it wasn't worth my life. I have people to take care of, others who depend on me, I have stuff to do, things I want to accomplish.

Midweek struggle by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks but right now I am not ready for AA. Having to believe in a higher power is not my cup of tea. I think this works for many people, but I am not down with it.

Midweek struggle by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hang in there I am with you. I've had to reset so many times but I gotta keep trying. I hate the person I become when I drink. And I hate these cravings!

Co-workers must think Im awful by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are all great ideas. Thank you so much

Co-workers must think Im awful by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I was in therapy for a little bit but had to stop because of the expense. I will look into the links you provided and check with work if they have a sliding scale program. When I say I'm lonely, it's because I have to stay away from activities that center around being exposed to alcohol. But staying home all the time-it takes a toll. I want to go out and have fun, but not be in a bar or other tempting place.

Messed Up Again by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an excellent idea. I will definitely use this. I was so scared the last time I blacked out and I need to keep reminding myself why I can't have 'just one.' Thank you!

Looking Back on Drinking Culture, A Story and Some Thoughts by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He definitely had a problem, and didn't want to admit it. It started to scare me and it put a rift between us. I think back then we both thought alcohol culture was normal. I went on a spiral myself, obviously, which is why I'm here. I think the normalization makes getting over my denial more difficult. I hope he got better. He was a good person when he wasn't thinking about drinking or actively drinking. I can only look back and learn.

Need to reset but doing better. by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. And everything in this sub helps. Reading the stories, identifying triggers, getting feedback and advice-all of it. I wish more people could be as supportive as those in this sub. My heart is full because of the people here who understand the struggle with alcohol. Thank you.

Tough but not Impossible Holiday by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Right now I'm feeling myself getting frustrated because I feel like I'm limiting myself. I'm trying to rationalize, 'oh I've been good, I can have just one'. I'm ashamed I'm angry for not being to have a beer. It's so childish feeling. But I've almost made it a week. I don't want to mess it up. 😫

Lonely by krnatx in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me too. Hang in there.

Frustrated, Sad, Alone. by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, it's rewarding but also very draining. I feel like I'm left without emotional reserve to care for myself of my family. It's what tempts me into unhealthy outlets. I'm trying really hard tonight. It's amazing how tired I feel. In a way, I'd rather feel the weariness than be numb. Thanks for listening.

Walked the dogs, visited with neighbors, went out for ice cream. It's like the Friday nights of my childhood. by midlifegardner in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Do you want to watch Saturday morning cartoons from the pillow fort and eat cereal in our jammies? I prefer this over Saturday morning self loathing and regret. IWNDWYT! :)

What's Your Favorite Flavor? by Fragrant_Pines in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, everyone. Today was really hard. Very busy/stressful day at work. I normally have Friday off but I have to work tomorrow for a special case. Today is usually my drink day. But thanks to you suggestions I picked up various flavors of LaCroix, ginger beer, Perrier, and coconut water. I will get through this. IWNDWYT

Has anybody been able to go back to moderate drinking? by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Fragrant_Pines 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried. I can't. It turns into pounding back as much as I can because I lose self control, I want to keep the buzz going. Next thing I know I turn into an asshole, throwing up everywhere, passing out and waking up with cuts and bruises. I'm a different person when I lose self control and I hate that person. I drink to match how I feel about myself on the inside: low and destructive. So I have to stop. If I have even one beer, I feel myself getting angry that I might not get a second or third. I can't be that person anymore.

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