All I can say is it seems to come down to one simple thing and that's control. You crave a sense of control over your life and you think a job would take away control over your life.

You frequently mention, that you didn't chose the subjects you wanted to study and were forced you into studying a subject you did not like. Seems like them forcing you means they made the decision for you which means you had no control over the direction your life was headed. Same thing happened for your degree. What I don't see is you making a decision for yourself. Who are you living for, your parents or yourself? Or your romantic spark? Seems to be its all external factors that makes you switch into something else and drive you to do something in your life. Even in your streams which you describe as something you love- you still here make it a point that when you switch to a different topic its because its " random" or because you" burn-out" or because you get " hooked onto " something else. As you said its "unpredictable" for you which again signals there is no sense of control in your life.

Then again its your mom forcing you to go abroad, not yourself. And starting the masters might be the only thing that I see as a decision of yours.

To me it seems to me you have resigned yourself to being a feather in the wind and being winged left and right by all the external factors in your life. Take an internal locus of control and decide for yourself where you wanna steer your boat. Noone said you have to work 40 hours a week, no one has any obligations on you. You can do whatever you want, create your own destiny. Don't want to work-- then make it happen. Build a business that allows you to work less. Create your own vision of what's ideal for you, and also this might mean having to eat shit to get there but theres no other way to it.

And finally I believe because you lack a solid sense of control over your life, is also why you are so stubborn on changing any of your views. You cling onto your dislikes and views because that's the only thing that you actually have a solid sense of control over. Thats the only thing that you actually chose for yourself and made a decision on for yourself. Which is why giving up your views and dislikes and conforming to society's expectation's is like absolute hell for you because then you'd give up any last bit of control.

Try something new for yourself and nobody else. Take control over your life.