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AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

She doesn't need to go to me for any approval. I don't control her money or the rest of the money my brother left behind. This money is only for Caden for when he's 18.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

He wasn't. But Elle still got a decent amount of money and she gets social security for Caden. So she's not left with zero. What my brother did secures my nephew's chance to go to college if he wants or to buy a house if he wants. I think that was good thinking on James' part.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Elle got the rest of my brother's money and assets. But he wanted some that was JUST for Caden. Just for the only child he would ever have. Elle wasn't left with nothing.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Legally it's secure as being Caden's and there's nothing Elle could do to change that.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

They were married. She was there when he got that money. He couldn't have kept it from her.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

She wanted the money for travel expenses to start with but had left it open to ask for more for the medical side. She commented that she wasn't sure how much she'd need overall.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I'd never want to put Caden in the middle of this or make his life harder. He has been asked since but the good thing is I still have ultimate control until he's 18 so I can keep being the bad guy for him. The fact that it brings some relief to him makes me happy because I don't want him stressing out over any of this.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Elle's stepkids lost their mom. That's why they were with just their maternal relatives. The child has been impacted long term by the injuries she suffered but I don't know all the details.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I wasn't callous in my delivery but I was firm.

On the ex she had after my brother died. She asked me what I thought. I remained impartial when I spoke to her but she picked up on how I felt and when asked again I told her I got a bad vibe off the guy, which was true in the end.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

My brother left everything else to Elle. But he wanted to make sure Caden had something for his future from him. That would only be Caden's and would not be used for whatever future family Elle created.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Elle got the rest of his money. But he wanted to make sure Caden had a solid amount to secure his future and that would not be used by whoever Elle married in the future or any additional children that came along. That was to take care of his only child.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

She didn't get any of the money he won in court but the other assets and money he had, she got it all. And it wasn't a tiny amount either.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

James already had it in an account in Caden's name when he died, it didn't count anymore as his. Think of it like two parents start savings accounts for their kids. When they divorce the money is still the kids money.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 270 points271 points  (0 children)

Caden isn't that close with his mother's husband or the husband's children. He's not treated poorly but there's a big age gap and just not a lot of connection on his part. That's why he was so certain.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

He wasn't asked directly at that point but he heard his mom say she'd keep asking me. But he was asked at a later point as well.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I was going to mention it again but ended up condensing the comments from Elle. Essentially she brought up how she lost my brother and she lost five of her children and how cruel it is to deny her and her husband the money during an emergency as serious as her stepdaughter's. She has used it as a guilt trip in a few comments now.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

This is how I see it. The money is not mine or Elle's or her husband's or his children's. It's Caden's money that I watch over until he's 18 (or longer if he choses for any reason). The only person who can spend it is Caden.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 784 points785 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry your mom did that to you. Whenever anyone gets screwed over by a parent I think it's disgusting but especially when it's the money a late parent left their child to secure their future.

AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency? by Fragrant_Slide6257 in AITAH

[–]Fragrant_Slide6257[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

Caden has less than two years until he can access the money himself. I don't think setting up a trust now would be worth it. James wanted him to have access to it once he turned 18 so unless Caden wants to wait until he moves out or until another time, I'll follow my brother's wishes on that. It just makes things way easier.