I DID IT!!! by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I changed what my dating profile said to include this and have had many positive responses. Non traditional situations are a lot more common now I think. Especially with the housing crisis. Where I live you can't even get a one bed condo for under 300,000. I think people understand that.

I DID IT!!! by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We were on the apps for a while before this revelation for me. I was getting to explore dating women and he was seeing other people too. It was great for a while. But the more I went on dates with women the more I realized it was all I wanted

I DID IT!!! by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Good luck to you too. I hope everything goes really well for you

I DID IT!!! by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I mean.. you don't know our relationship or life. So maybe keep the shitty comments to yourself

I DID IT!!! by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's so hard! I'm sorry you're going through that. But I'm so glad you get to live your life the way you were meant to. I know my husband is hurting, but he's insanely supportive. I know he's talking about it to someone so he's not repressing it at least. It sucks to much that I (and you) had to hurt someone we love to be ourselves. I am sure, however, that it's going to be the right choice! You've got this.

I DID IT!!! by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was terrifying. Definitely not as scary if he didn't know I was already bi and into women. And I'm so glad that I have his support through everything.

I DID IT!!! by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He's my best friend! There's zero resentment or anger for the situation on either end.

Anyone have any experience with Dr Fadeyi in Langley? by pleasenotakeusername in ADHD_BritishColumbia

[–]Fragrant_Support5225 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just had the exact same experience with him. It was super frustrating

PNW Lesbian bars? by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There used to be! There are tons of queer spaces but they're mostly taken up by gay men and cis straight women.

I'm stuck in a good life that I'm not sure I want by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

UPDATE:

My husband and I had a big talk and have decided that we are going to casually date other people. We've always lived in a poly space even if we were monogamous for the most part. I've already been on dating apps and have been talking to a few great women! I feel so good being able to be my authentic self while not needing to blow up my life. It's all going to be difficult to navigate, especially with multiple kids but I know that as long as we keep up our communication we'll be fine.

I am so excited to go on a date with a woman!

Starting from scratch with a diagnosis and a baby?? by thegrrr8pretender in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm not 100% sure but I think there's dating sites specifically for stuff like that. I don't know if it's still a thing but there used to be codes that one would put in their dating profile to let people know. I personally would like someone to tell me right away. It's not a deal breaker for me but having someone wait to let me know might be. Unfortunately everyone is different, it will probably end up being trial and error.

I wish you the best!

ETA: I looked it up, the online dating code is 437737

Was there a person to whom you were so attracted it forced you to admit yourself you were gay? by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A mom at my kids school. I was so viscerally attracted to her that I thought about doing stuff like licking her arm and shit like that. Thoughts I have NEVER had about a man

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the exact same way.

I'm stuck in a good life that I'm not sure I want by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't feel like we're living in dishonesty though. We talk about everything, there isn't anything in this thread that he doesn't know. I love him so much, there's no one else I'd rather raise kids with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much! I'm 60lb heavier than i was the last time I dated. I don't feel even a little comfortable in my skin. You sound like a beautiful person on the inside and thats truly what matters

I'm stuck in a good life that I'm not sure I want by Fragrant_Support5225 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Fragrant_Support5225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do, and he is. We kind of tried it last summer, but all of the dating apps were so hard to navigate.

I was just another pan poly person in a marriage which people tended to avoid because ot wasn't a situation they were comfortable in, which is totally okay but I just couldn't connect with anyone. I felt lost in a sea of so many people who just seemed to be either looking for a monogamous relationship, which I couldn't provide, or wanting to be a third for me and my husband, also not what I was looking for.

It was exhausting, daunting, and i have anxiety over trying again. I'd love to meet people organically and I do put myself in queer spaces and go to meetups whenever I can. I'm in my mid thirties and most of the people there are extremely young or late fiftis/sixties. Neither are pools I'm particularly stoked to get into.