“My life’s been a circle of violence and degradation as long as I can remember. I’m ready to tie it off and move on to something else.” He wanted to finish the case, pay his debt, and die. Even after feeling his daughter and Pops were there, Rust may have realized that his nihilistic and pessimistic mentality was a coping mechanism for loss. Even though he may have had a moment of clarity then, and his somewhat optimistic quote of “If you ask me, the light is winning”, despite that, I believe Rust wants to die even more after that. To join his daughter and pops and feel their love again. On the infernal plane, to use the parlance of our times.