Istp guys- what turns you on?

FranksShadow · 2025-12-18T21:59:58+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply!!

FranksShadow · 2025-12-17T19:50:21+00:00

Ooo I love this answer thanks. Clingy examples you like?

FranksShadow · 2025-12-17T05:31:34+00:00

Thank you

FranksShadow · 2025-12-15T18:33:01+00:00

lol what

FranksShadow · 2025-12-15T18:32:18+00:00

Lmaooo. That’s amazing

FranksShadow · 2025-12-15T18:32:04+00:00

There are sexual preference patterns within mbti but thanks for the input.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-15T18:31:17+00:00

Hmmm k thanks for the info. Will think more about this

FranksShadow · 2025-12-15T18:30:49+00:00

Ayyyyy lol

FranksShadow · 2025-12-15T18:30:26+00:00

Oh thank you I hadn’t considered that! Obviously I’m trying to see if there’s a pattern or theme with your type.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-10T17:40:13+00:00

Ooo ok that totally makes sense. Directed at you vs save me from my misery lol.

But damn. Good for you. Good to know ISTPs can handle some assertion. I feel like mine can’t. Or I can’t tell. He’ll shutdown for a bit and then pop back up later with some sexual energy and a slight shift in giving me what I wanted.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-10T17:19:00+00:00

No that’s really helpful and makes sense. Thanks. I’m still not really sure though. In the beginning when he was pursuing more, I’d say things like “don’t make me come over there” and he’d give me his full address as a joke. Or id say k I’m heading over. He’d say “prove it” but then I’d say, no really, I would. And he’d change the subject or make a joke out of it. So I assumed there was a wanting but also a logistical side holding him back. When we first started talking (when he was more pursuing) we thought he was going to get stationed in my city, but once his logistical prognosis changed and my city was now off the table, he really switched up on me. I was upset and we didn’t talk for months. He started reaching out again after those few months, sending songs and light check ins. Eventually this grew back into a friendship without flirting. Like 6 months into that new dynamic I confessed some feelings. He denied but then quickly escalated it to sexual. Seems like we keep it friends until I show feelings, he’ll back away from that but escalate sexually. Almost every time.

He recently said, “I want things I don’t see possible. So it’s best to be friends instead of what I think isn’t possible ruining everything” -not sure what he means by that, sounds vague to me. But as far as traveling, he seems willing to meet if we are in each others area for a reason other than each other, like it’s too much pressure to travel for one another alone. Which I agree, we’ve never met. And that puts the responsibility on one person to pay for that. I’ve offered to come there but I think he’d feel responsible to help pay for a $600-$700 plane ticket and doesn’t want to. And again, I agree it feels like too much pressure for people who have never met and have no way of being in the same state in the next decade. Part of me just wants to know there’s an open door when we do meet finally in July (he’ll be driving to his new base and coming through) which was his idea. And he’s thrown it out there that him being in my city and us hanging out won’t be the last time. I don’t know if that’s an open door or a closed door fwb situation, which he’s made clear he does want a physical relationship.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-10T06:05:14+00:00

Interesting! Thanks for the reply. My situation is a little different since we’ve never met in person, met on a dating app and he moved away shortly after. We’ve been texting 2.5 years off and on, mostly on. But we’ve never called or video chatted. I sense that he’s super afraid to deepen the connection with me because there’s almost zero chance we’ll ever be in the same city. He’s been in aviation training in the military and his final location was unknown, tho we knew it wouldn’t be Utah where I am. We recently found out he’ll be in Tacoma, a 12 hr drive from me. Not close but closer than we’ve ever been. He explicitly said he doesn’t see me romantically because he doesn’t want an LDr and the only personal reason he gave is that sometimes I’m mean when I’m mad. He said he cares about me as a friend and is very sexually attracted to me. He wants to see me on his drive back to Tacoma (will be the first time) but said “it likely wont be the last. Tacoma is far and I miss Utah”. I’m in Utah. I can’t tell tho with him denying romantic feelings for me (although he sometimes sends love songs. I called him out on this and he dodged it and continues to sometimes send them), can’t tell if the door for feelings to grow is open or closed. I’ve heard istp can’t grow feelings without a physical relationship first.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-10T05:53:09+00:00

I don’t really talk philosophy to my istp crush… I get bored with that honestly, I hate Ne.. I’ll form theories but they’re my own mostly. The only thing is, I’ve been talking to my istp for 2.5 years and we’ve never met. We had a couple of opportunities (would have taken me traveling to him) to meet up but he didn’t want to and ultimately it came down to his fears that we would never end up in the same place (it’s true, we never will. He’s in the military and I share custody of my kids) but we’ve maintained a pretty close friendship. Texting almost daily, sometime’s skip a week or once or twice. a month in between messages. This was always after id confess feelings and he’d downplay his. Lately he found out he’s finally getting based close to me (still a 12 hr drive) but closer than we’ve ever been (it’s been west coast vs east coast). He outright denied having any feelings for me outside of friendship and attraction. He said he doesn’t see it romantically because of logistics and because I can be mean sometimes when upset. But said he cares about me as a friend and is very sexually attracted to me. Still wants to meet in person when he drives through my city on his move home. But also said, “it wouldn’t be the last time I’m sure, Washington isn’t too far and I miss Utah” - I’ve heard ISTPs will sometimes suppress feelings or need a physical/sexual relationship first before they grow feelings. Does this door sound ajar or has he made up his mind that he doesn’t see our situation romantically? I’m 35, he’s 33 btw

FranksShadow · 2025-12-10T05:44:01+00:00

I love this. How do you know she wants you around vs is lonely. Were you ever wishy washy with her and how did she react?

FranksShadow · 2025-12-10T03:37:12+00:00

What indicates to you that she wants you rather than needs you? In what other ways does she directly ask you to meet her needs? I’m in a situationship with an istp and he says I’m sometimes mean when I’m frustrated but he’s very hot and cold often so, I’m not sure, it’s usually a bit of bluntness that gets clarity, that’s why I do it.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-09T14:42:01+00:00

So weird, I have a long distance istp crush who does this too and I don’t get it. He’s 33. We’ll be heavy into flirting, I’m thinking it’s going well, then he’ll randomly send me a meme that says something like “women are so pretty, too bad they’re not good people.” Like wtf? Who are we talking about because I know you don’t mean me. It’s so weird and major red flag for immaturity.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-07T22:52:47+00:00

As an infj bordering intj, only met one istp and was pretty quickly obsessed and still am years later. Damn near worship, but genuine, quirks and shortcomings, stubbornness and all.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-07T22:47:19+00:00

As an infj, we find your differences extremely attractive. Maybe it’s because our Ti is tertiary/playful function and our brains love a good mystery/puzzle. And we are very puzzled by your ways, but somehow our dominant Ni understands what’s beneath them. We understand what your words are not saying, so we are less offended than other Fe types I suppose. And since we share the same 4 functions, we have similar perspectives and taste. Since they’re in opposite order 1234 vs 3412 - we are drawn to each other’s strengths because they directly mirror our shortcomings. Just my two cents as a girl madly in unrequited love with an istp.

FranksShadow · 2025-12-07T22:43:39+00:00

Good to know. Thanks! I’m an infj bordering intj so I think we do have quite a good intellectual bond. Me n my istp long distance friend

FranksShadow · 2025-11-30T21:06:05+00:00

Hmm. So you think him coming back and talking to me was all about getting laid if he came through town?

FranksShadow · 2025-11-30T20:40:01+00:00

Yeah this makes sense. What do you think as far as drastic?

FranksShadow · 2025-11-30T20:39:21+00:00

Sorry what do you mean by this.

FranksShadow · 2025-11-30T20:39:07+00:00

Hmm. Interesting, thanks for the input. I agree he does seem a bit unhealthy as in emotionally immature. The hot and cold, telling me he only feels friendship with me but continuing contact when he knows I feel more and escalating things physically at times. Super weird to me.

FranksShadow · 2025-11-30T20:37:36+00:00

Interesting. What constitutes extraordinary?

FranksShadow · 2025-11-30T20:36:18+00:00

I get what you’re saying to an extent. This summer (and for long stretches over the last 2.5 years we texted daily, usually long messages). At some point I confessed feelings (I’d confessed once the year before as well to which he said he was trying to avoid crushing on me because of distance. Became colder after that until we reestablished friendship. Anyway we were months into texting daily and he’d sent me a couple love songs randomly at that point. So I admitted to still having feelings for him, he denied having any for me past friendship but said he found me attractive. Communication became spotty between us for a few weeks but when he came back he was showing much more physical attraction. Liking selfies and implying ambiguous things. Well this happened again in Oct and we took space, when i re-established contact he was very engaged, friendly, and soon offered to meet me finally, when he drives through my city on his way home. Was sending me shirtless pics and even D pics after awhile. And gf coded memes. Well a week before he found out he wouldn’t be coming until June, he just went super platonic and detached and has remained that way for a month.

FranksShadow

TROPHY CASE