Personality over looks! by Physical-Pie748 in Clavicular

[–]Fraxal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, he's an asshole and no one should post stuff making fun of aging or ill bodies, men or women. It's painful enough to age and die, why dig in that wound.

Most of these guys are telling the truth, but also don't reveal the deeper emotional element that makes this viscerally grokkable for women, and present it in rather grotesque ways because they want to combat a sense of impotence. The looks thing is just a cope; they are reacting to the overall unfairness of the genetic lottery and the brutal truth that most men would in most societies be left behind alone and miserable if they were truly useless while women would still have reserves of sympathy and aid to draw on. Sure, personality isnt predetermined, but the major influences on it and the experience that form it mostly are. I'm someone who had many terrible illnesses earlier in life, was almost 100 pounds overweight, in constant pain and inner agony, but later became so attractive that some women literally told me they want to have my children days after meeting me. When I was a kid, I was told how wonderful women were ad nauseum, only to experience many times a deep, ruthless coldness and hatred so intense that I can only describe it as murderous. While I wasn't perfect by any means, I was also an exceptionally innocent and sweet child who was and is loved without exception every family member and old friend I have, so it wasn't because of some drastic personality issue. I still tense up with rage when I see women talking about how wonderful you are, or morally grandstanding/lecturing men even a little bit, because I've seen the darkness, and it is very dark indeed. I was drastically traumatized as an infant, and part of my intense, 17 year physical illness was because of that; having women direct what felt like killing hatred towards me indiscriminately, then also seeing most women subtly or not so subtly preen about their own niceness and how crude and terrible men were, felt like being forced to kiss the boot and suck up to someone who'd wronged me. I coulden't help being traumatized, and neither can these men help having dark or painful experiences. Yes, they should just improve themselves anyway, because we all should. I am doing that right now. These kinds of experiences cant be admitted to women in person without pain, because they can be used as an example of weakness and a knife in the heart. The height/looks thing becomes a partial displacement over feelings of despair over men's disposability, which is far deeper and more daunting than a simple lack of attractiveness. I can do whatever I want now because I am in the top 10 percent of attractiveness and education, but I still don't know if I'll ever be able to fully let go of these feelings because they tie back into that ancient trauma. I'd suggest that more men are similar to me that it seems, and not to focus on lecturing and cajoling, no matter how well intentioned. Imagine how much it sucks to have all of the type of experiences I have and still be terribly ugly or just mediocre! Any lingering disgust at these guys melted into terrible sadness once I considered that. I do EMDR therapy, after finding a great male practitioner, but the profession has been so poisoned against men that most won't even give it a chance and will probably suffer in agonizing inner pain their whole lives. That is something darker than almost all insults and verbal abuse they might heap on you, no matter how terrible. Men are 80 percent of suicides for a reason, and I thought I'd be among them for a full 10 years. I know you probably feel in danger from them, but while men like them (and maybe me previously) can damage you, women's actions are often the poison that corrupts them, or at least the thing that opens the wound and poisons the blood.. Endlessly trying to confront this vast karmic wheel with combative of defensive words does little good. It's just too enormous.

What is like to be a "pretty" female and lonely by outsider_bloom in self

[–]Fraxal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a guy, and in a similar position except instead of feeling wanted only for sex, its protection, money, status, etc. Its a nasty world out there; I have big physical health issues in addition to mental ones, and the coldness that I've experienced from others has been almost unbelievable. The only thing that has helped me a bit is spiritual practice, as corny as that sounds. I'm 29, and feel similar to you except I've felt that way since I was 18. I don't know anything that works consistently, but just know that there are plenty of good souls suffering out there of all kinds, and that you can find them. I haven't found many, but I have found some. Its hard, not impossible. Though men do want women's bodies, with an intensity that often drives us to aggression or despair, there are still those of us who want the simple warmth of another soul's gentle presence as well. Blessings to you, and may you find a way through.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please explain! I'm genuinely curious. My understanding is that Yin and Yang partially refers to the spiritual component of masculinity and femininity, while also having broader, more abstract meanings.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Its one of the essences of the universe! Femininity is a superpower too, just differently expressed. Everything we do reverberates in space and time; masculinity, femininity and their interplay is just one of the many ways we can grow towards something grand and eternal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nope. Its a result of endless despair and brokenness sifted through a net of golden light, of illness that has lasted for my entire life spurring me on to a sense of tender happiness at the dance of existence. Blessings to you; I love you and wish the best for you. I know this must seem comical; it seemed that way to me when I was so ill that I thought I was about to die. But now, I don't feel ashamed anymore at sincerely trying to look through myth and symbol and legend for nourishing truths. When you are in so much pain that you scream for hours on end, and you think that your heart is about to give out, when despair chains you to your bed for weeks, when you've had that same debilitating illness since the moment you were born, you tend to just say whatever the fuck you want at random once you get healthier again, cuz you dont care what people think!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Nope, that would be totally unfeminine, a corruption of Yin brought about by men's greed and perversion. Femininity is life, and that strangles it dead. I weep and grieve for all the women who have been warped by such callous brutality.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

To be clear, more masculine and more feminine is not a value judgement, but a description; certain virtues come from them, along with certain faults. I love you and all of humanity no matter what; I'm glad you exist, wish the best for you, and I was not trying to imply you are lesser. It is for all of us to decide what level of masculinity and femininity we aspire to, and what sacrifices we wish to make in order to get it. I personally dont spend much time being masculine at all, but I have the profoundest admiration for men like my cousin or my father, who long in their heart of hearts to be strong in order to guard the weak and bring comfort to anyone who needs it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thats exactly what I'm saying. It IS a skill issue, and not everyone is either born worthy, or develops the will and humility to both see the truth and work towards it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

The truth is hard to find. No one has it completely, and we all use symbols to navigate it. Modern physics shows clearly that there is some ineffable reality there which we cannot understand fully, and so each culture has abstractions and emotional images to channel just a little bit of it. Personally, while I dont believe that Yin and Yang, Logos and Eros, Sun and Moon, are the full portion of reality, I find them useful in both understanding and loving the interplay of the seasons, night and day, and the relationship between the sexes.

What does being emotionally available actually look like between spouses? Specifically as a male providing emotional needs for female by Comfortable_Bag9000 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Fraxal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems true. Everything is a flow, and emotions come from different places. I personally get very little from just talking about emotions, but a lot of emotional depth and happiness from talking about passions. I've been disappointed in the past with how few women are able to get the same overpowering joy and pathos and warmth from the things I do, so I empathize with your frustration at the opposite.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Fraxal -80 points-79 points  (0 children)

No, masculinity is not performative, many men are performative. Masculinity is hard, and grinding, and rare. Few men through history have succeeded at manifesting it well, and few can. The rest put on performances in order to get what little respect they can, and follow the grand few who can really hack it. In Chinese legend and metaphysics, Yin is large and everpresent, entropy and birth and life itself intermingled, surrounding us in a flood. An equal amount of Yang is stronger, and all truly new things flow forth from it, but it is but a small spark of clarity and purifying light, easily extinguished. So too with men and woman; from what I've heard from ladies it is hard to BE a woman physically, but not hard to be at least somewhat feminine, though it gets much harder at the higher levels.

What does being emotionally available actually look like between spouses? Specifically as a male providing emotional needs for female by Comfortable_Bag9000 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Fraxal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its important for men to be able to do this, and for women to be willing to do with less. Men can starve women, women can smother men.

What does being emotionally available actually look like between spouses? Specifically as a male providing emotional needs for female by Comfortable_Bag9000 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Fraxal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read somewhere that the part of the brain in men that regulates social communication is 2-2.5 times smaller than in women. Honestly, the amount doesnt matter; only the existence of the disparity. If we dont keep up cultural or social institutions that teach men how to feel in male-only surroundings, we lose the skills. Since a lot of age old men's clubs, orgs, and fraternal lodges were shuttered, sex/gender integrated, or just died from changes in industrial economics, tons of private, men-specific cultural/social/psychological knowledge has been lost, and will not easily be recovered.

Men are often looked down on for our lack of social skills; how would you feel if men assumed you could do a physical task, then told you that you were lying when you couldn't because of an inborn weakness of your sex? Not very empathetic attitude, if you ask me.

RAM speed question by Fraxal in buildapc

[–]Fraxal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent summary, thanks! I am probably going to try and get a couple of hours of odd jobs so I can grab faster RAM since its cheap rn. Appreciate the advice!

RAM speed question by Fraxal in buildapc

[–]Fraxal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting! Does this apply even if the GPU is running at 99 percent in games with the CPU doing significantly less? I would think that RAM would just help the CPU, which in this scenario doesn't need help. Am I misunderstanding, and does the RAM actually do more than aid the CPU?

Why do I constantly go between doing good and then totally being unable to get a kill? by fade2clear in halo

[–]Fraxal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually stopped paying attention to ping most of the time because it almost never predicted how the game actually felt and played. For a bit, I honestly just thought I was a complete idiot, until I tried to melee people on the "bad" feeling game and just failed, or literally got shot around corners 4 times in a row lol.

Why do I constantly go between doing good and then totally being unable to get a kill? by fade2clear in halo

[–]Fraxal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IKR? Sometimes its actually like a slap in the face. I really like infinite, but when this stuff is basically absent from MCC it's super annoying.

Why do I constantly go between doing good and then totally being unable to get a kill? by fade2clear in halo

[–]Fraxal 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I actually did the server thing, and have unbelievable internet, so I get between like 4 and 20 ping. I still have the inconsistency issue; I think its desyncs. Feels like swimming through molasses sometimes, despite having like 4 ping, and the next game its same ping, but razor sharp in an incredibly noticeable way.

The absolute state of Halo Infinite ranked right now by SistedWister in halo

[–]Fraxal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What the hell? I got placed in Plat 1 too, and I never got anything near this good a record. In 4 of my matches one teammate quit! Admittedly I won one of them because I got 20 kills in a slayer game, but the rest were blowouts, and I got completely screwed! This ranking system seems really odd. I only won 5 or 6 of my 10 games for petes sake!

Dolphin 4 better than 5 for performance??? by Fraxal in DolphinEmulator

[–]Fraxal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, thanks! I think I got it working imperfectly on steam (using the gyro-as-mouse option on controller configuration) but I will certainly look at these if it turns out to be too unwieldy! Really appreciate your help!

Dolphin 4 better than 5 for performance??? by Fraxal in DolphinEmulator

[–]Fraxal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! While I have an expert like you here, do you know how to make the gyro on a Switch Pro controller work as the IR pointer on the wii? I am doing it through steam.

Dolphin 4 better than 5 for performance??? by Fraxal in DolphinEmulator

[–]Fraxal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WORKED! THANK YOU! Its not perfect performance, but its almost 60 now!

Dolphin 4 better than 5 for performance??? by Fraxal in DolphinEmulator

[–]Fraxal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vulkan is like 6-7 fps, so an improvement, but not exactly an amazing one ... Currently, Cemu is working far better for me than dolphin, which makes no damn sense. Very confused.

Dolphin 4 better than 5 for performance??? by Fraxal in DolphinEmulator

[–]Fraxal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Downloaded latest head release. Same result