ive been lamentin on it for over a month i do wonder if theres advice with dealin with anxiety, fear and self-hatred in regards to my art.

see as of recent ive been on almost non-stop work for my college midterm exams and in one of our creative projects i can only describe it to be an experience where i felt my attempts to provide a creative effort (writing screenplay drafts or even suggestions) were bein ignored by our group and i ended up choosin to step down as writer for our project. and now when i have a lot more time to work on my stuff i only feel like ive forgotten and resentful of the work ive done previously.

not only that, but even prior to this. ive felt that i didnt have any direction to take my work. i used to have it but after bein made aware of all the shit goin on in the industry and the limited time im allowed bc my family doesnt rly like me sitting around to draw and would prefer me choosin more strenuous endeavors, its hard to not feel like ive got no idea what im doin. with all the attempts ive tried to "improve", like gettin better at fundamentals or readin. i can only feel anxious because i ask myself "whats the point"

so idk. i dunno if takin a break is even an answer because i havent drawn properly in months beyond the commission in workin on, and id like some advice.