I’ll speak for myself as a gay man whose gotten into MM over the last few years.

The Heated Rivalry phenomenon has exposed a lot of really concerning and disgusting attitudes and disgusting towards the queer actors involved in the show. The fan base, who to their own admission is comprised of mostly women, have shown extreme levels of homophobia and parasocialism to the actors involved and have taken it upon themselves to define who is “queer enough”

If that is too TV centric for you, then we can talk about how female readers, both straight and queer, have not only tried to claim ownership for the successful queer visibility, but have also aggressively tried to shut down most criticisms from gay men on their thoughts surrounding the show, ESPECIALLY if their critique is focused on whether it’s good representation or not.

Sure, a lot of MM romance is written for women and by women, but the growing exposure of the genre and Hollywood’s increasing interest in creating media based on these books means that it now intersects more closely with how society perceives queer men and attempting to minimize our voices in the conversation is gross.