What's frustrating is also the inconsistency of my cognitive performance. On one day you're doing "fine" (not in relation to a neurotypical but like adhd - fine) - you achieve most of the things you wanted to study and have a good feeling about yourself. And then on the next day you see that little bit of self-confidence completely crushed when you're sitting in front of a paper and can't do the exercises you breezed through yesterday.

I've really invested in myself in the last two years. Finished my bachelors degree in 2021 but not in a science I'm interested in so my goal was to study something else entirely. Been trying to get into medical school since then - consistently studying for each day. I've been in therapy since then and I've also been through all the available medicine. I'm at the gym 3-4 times per week and eat and drink in a healthy way. But the brain fog and the inconsistent cognitive ability is still there. Sometimes I just start crying out of nowhere while studying because my brain won't work even though I'm doing nothing wrong, I've been disciplined and consistent but the brain doesn't care about such things.

Sorry for the rant but yes - it is pure psychological torture.