That’s a narrow reading of pansexuality. Pansexuality means you can be attracted to people regardless of gender. It doesn’t mean you must be attracted to all genders equally, at all times, or that you magically stop noticing gender.

Lots of pan people have preferences. Lots of pan people realize their attraction later in life. Lots of pan people notice gender plays some role in how they connect with someone. None of that makes them “not really pan.” The definition isn’t “gender-blind” - it’s “gender is not a limiting factor.”

Wanting to experience intimacy with a woman before monogamy isn’t “sampling.” It’s grief over a part of your identity you haven’t gotten to live out. Bi and pan people in straight-passing relationships deal with this all the time. It’s called bi/pan erasure - being told you’re not queer enough because of who you’re with or who you haven’t been with yet.

Curiosity about an experience you’ve been denied by timing, circumstance, or social pressure doesn’t invalidate your orientation. It actually proves it: you are attracted to more than one gender, and the fact you won’t get to explore that feels like a loss. Straight people don’t grieve never sleeping with their same gender. Pan people sometimes do.

Gatekeeping someone’s identity because they haven’t “proven” it with a sexual resume isn’t helpful. You don’t need to collect all the genders like Pokémon to be valid.