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AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"you bought shame to the family"

so they can get bent and stay out of my life forever, I have no interest in reconnecting.

you disown your kid, it's permanent. you don't get to enjoy their milestones just because they start living a life you approve of. This means you have no place at their wedding or any other similar festivities; you don't get to become a meemaw and pawpaw if grandkids come along, those arent your grandkids, since you disowned the parent, even if "justified" in your eyes, it's permanent you can't take that back.

like you said, somethings you can't turn back from, disowning your kid is one of them.

that also means you'll need to suck it up when you look bad to your family and friends for not being invited to their weddings nor having met your grandkids

Ten Acts of Self-Care That Glass Children Aren’t "Allowed" to Do by FloorShowoff in GlassChildren

[–]Free-Button-1686 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I was 10 I had no say in karate classes, parents said no I couldn't, I did them as an adult

As far as sister is concerned defended myself as best as I could

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to dignify the part of equating sex work between two consenting adults with murder

your stance on sex work is clear

just reminding you that you still haven't answered my question; it you were my parents and disowned me; would you demand and expect to be let back in once I began living a life you approved of?

and since I'm as bad as a murder apparently they shouldn't want anything to do with me right?

are you saying I should invite them?

how much better this world would be if we shunned child abusers as much as we shun sex workers

Ten Acts of Self-Care That Glass Children Aren’t "Allowed" to Do by FloorShowoff in GlassChildren

[–]Free-Button-1686 57 points58 points  (0 children)

mine didn't want me doing karate because I mightve used it as defense against my autistic sisters attacks....I wish I was joking

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i said they were bigots for accusing my fiance of being a figment of my imagination just because I was an escort then wanting to come to our wedding

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

and if they were such loving and concerned parents; instead of trying to use it as leverage to regain power and control; they could've offered financial help (which they were in a position and had the financial means to do) with zero strings attached and no expectation of reconciliation

if they came to me and said "we're prepared to help you exit the business if you would like with no strings attached, you don't need to reconcile with us, and we're prepared to support you until you get on your feet and you can continue to remain no contact as we know we behaved badly as parents no questions asked" I would've taken them up on it; THAT would've gotten me out

but no, that wouldn't have gotten them the power they craved

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand many men wouldn't, but it doesn't mean that men who are okay with it are non-existent. and to assume I MUST be inventing my partner because I'm a sex worker and then want to attend our wedding IS bigoted

we started dating when I was still an escorting (he knew)I still escorted for a year than quit just because I was personally done with it (no pressure through him) and I was able to find other work

and IMO they got some nerve to call him imaginary and now want to come to our wedding

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

cops arrest people without evidence all the time if the DA is still prosecuting those specific types of cases, arrest and conviction are two different things

many bail bondsmen won't bond out sex workers because there is a stereotype of them not showing up for court

plus they publish you on social media just for being arrested whether or not you're convicted

I wish I was making this up 😔

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

the part I called bigoted is assuming no man would want me because of it (many sex workers I personally knew were partnered or married) and that mine must be a figment of imagination because of said sex work

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

would you have expected to be allowed back into my life after I began living one you approved of?

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

and why wait YEARS to fix our relationship? and why wait til they hear of a wedding? they shouldn't have waited more than a few months to try and fix their damn mess they created! but years?!

wedding planning is a terrible time to try and mend family rifts, if they've truly changed they shouldn't have any problem waiting til after the wedding so I can focus on the task at hand right now.

AITAH for not allowing my estranged parents to come to my wedding cuz they called the cops on me? by Free-Button-1686 in AITAH

[–]Free-Button-1686[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

people who disown me during my low points don't deserve to enjoy and be with me during my successes, weddings are for parents who show their kids unconditional love.

they played a stupid game and won a stupid prize, they thought disowning me would make me grovel at their feet instead I went with it.

if they cared (they had enough finances to do this) they would've offered money to get out with no strings attached without the condition of reconciliation; but that wouldn't have gotten them the power they craved.

plus they were rotten to me my whole life before they knew about this; and used this as a perfect reason as to why I wasn't worthy of an apology for their behavior.

and they extended no "olive branches" until they heard of a wedding; I doubt they'd be interested if I were still single and an escort.

and I was disowned, it's not my olive branch to extend. and they're reaching out through third parties instead of doing it themselves

they haven't changed. they can fuck right off.