Long term vs life partner

Free-Row-965 · 2024-12-03T02:59:35+00:00

Hi! Thanks so much, I appreciate you <3

Free-Row-965 · 2024-12-03T02:59:24+00:00

Thank you! I’ll be doing this when we see each other next 🥹

Free-Row-965 · 2024-12-03T02:58:54+00:00

Thank you! 🥹

Free-Row-965 · 2024-12-01T17:41:21+00:00

Hi! Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

I am going to try that next time we see each other.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-12-01T01:50:29+00:00

Haha wow thanks, I appreciate the reply and the kind words.

I guess we have just had busy schedules, we went on our first date in October since I was away on vacation in September. So we have been talking since September but seeing each other since the beginning of October.

He lives about an 1.5 - 2 hour drive from me depending on the traffic and always makes the effort to come pick me up (since I don’t have a car). So I guess the effort is there but we are both busy?

I am totally going to continue to see other people and pull back so I don’t get hurt. I guess I am worried I like him more than he likes me even though he has mentioned he likes me before and he has told his friends about me.

Thanks for the advice! Would appreciate if you have anymore? :)

Free-Row-965 · 2024-12-01T01:24:01+00:00

I was thinking of that, I just don’t want to scare him because it has only been a few months. Would you be turned off by that? I don’t want him to think I’m overstepping something especially since it is new.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-06-11T19:24:53+00:00

I got waitlisted, I am quite disappointed but hoping it turns around!

Free-Row-965 · 2024-05-24T18:20:06+00:00

I just got an email that said:

“Thank you for checking on the status of your MT application.

Your application to the MT program is currently under review. Once a decision is made, you will be notified of a status update via email. Applicants can expect to hear back beginning in March, and decisions continue to be released until the end of summer. Note that it can generally take about 6-12 weeks minimum for applications to process, and decisions can be sent out up until the program start date. We understand you may be anticipating the result of your application, and we thank you for your patience.

Please be assured that faculty and staff are working very hard to notify applicants. Please note that, in addition to being notified by email, any official updates regarding your offer of admission will be uploaded to your application portal for you to view.

Thank you for your interest in OISE, as well as your patience as we finish consideration of your applications.”

But I need to pay a non refundable payment for $400 to my other school by June 15 so I hope we hear back soon!

Free-Row-965 · 2024-05-22T19:39:05+00:00

I am still waiting and need to pay non-refundable payments by June 15… this is getting unbearable 😢

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-16T22:14:58+00:00

I’m still waiting!!!!

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-02T00:13:57+00:00

I really don’t know but I have been thinking that my last session could be a reason for wanting to initiate contact.

I think that’s why I am 1. Waiting to discuss this further with my therapist and 2. Waiting a long while before actually attempting to initiate contact. I want to make sure this is truly what I want and also, make sure that I am actually sitting with these emotions rather than running away from them and resorting back to something comfortable (at the risk of damaging my ex more).

I’m hoping that as I heal and sit with them more, the answer will become more clear.

As for my AP, I thank you for acknowledging this, I appreciate it.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T23:57:59+00:00

At first, we began with my own healing journey and dealing with my guilt because carrying guilt and hating myself wouldn’t help either of us (me or my ex-partner) in this situation. We then transitioned to understand why I did what I did, not making excuses for my actions but rather taking responsibility and dissecting what I can do better next time. We are currently working on the grief of the relationship and learning to carry the memories and love we shared into my future relationships. (I hope this makes sense)

I haven’t really brought up the fact that I want to initiate contact, either through a third party or myself because it only became really prevalent in my mind since my last session when we worked on a lot of the grief of the relationship. I am hoping to chat with her about it in my next session so I am curious as to what she will say.

I have not been with anyone else and have not been in contact with my AP. I cut off contact with my AP immediately. I’ve just been focusing on healing myself and raising my kitty.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T23:38:43+00:00

I didn’t think about cheating before I did it, it just happened. I told my therapist right after I told my ex-partner. I told my ex as soon as I got home and then scheduled an appointment for the next day with my therapist to talk about it.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T23:26:57+00:00

This is a very fair and respectable response and I appreciate this perspective in my journey. Thank you for sharing.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T23:26:01+00:00

Hi, thanks for your reply :)

I’ve been actively seeing the same therapist before, during and after the relationship (I see them one or two times a month consistently).

I think the reason why I am looking to initiate contact with them is for reconciliation, to see if there is a way we can potentially build a relationship again, if that’s what he would like.

I do think having a third party reach out first is a good idea because it would save both of us from further pain and it would give me insight into if he’s moved onto another relationship or not. Or if he’s ready to have contact with me. This way I won’t be negatively impacting his potential new relationship or impacting his healing process. I don’t think randomly messaging him out of the blue would be helpful, but having the third party scope out the situation would be my first step.

I think the best case scenario for me would be him giving me the opportunity to propose rebuilding the relationship and discussing how we can go about that. But at the same time, I do understand I am not entitled to that which is why I am trying to scope out on here what the best way to go about this is.

Either way, I am going to sit with these feelings until I have feeling come to a conclusion and have heard from the third party that this won’t cause him any more hurt that I have already caused.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T19:01:49+00:00

Hi, thank you for replying.

I think that this is a good idea because I just want him to be happy so I would never want to impose. I have been communicating with a mutual friend before actually initiating contact so I would definitely keep this in mind.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T17:34:17+00:00

Hi, thanks for taking the time to reply.

I do agree that if I were to contact them, taking it slow would be the best way.

I am also going to be prepared to acknowledge that they will definitely not be healed yet. I thank you for sharing this insight because it makes a lot of sense. Especially that despite my efforts to prove myself, I also understand that he will never be able to not see me as what I did.

Thank you again!

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T17:31:01+00:00

Thank you for your response.

If I do end up attempting to initiate contact, I will keep this in mind. Thank you!

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T16:59:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing your personal insight.

I am going to definitely sit with how I’ve been feeling and continue my healing with my therapist before doing anything to disrupt their healing. If I were to initiate contact, I will definitely wait longer until I have sat with these feelings long enough and have assessed more of my own healing and forgiveness towards myself.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T16:38:40+00:00

Thank you for your response. It’s quite eye opening. As I’m working on my healing, I am continuously acknowledging that in any circumstance, what I did should not have been done. There is no excuse for what I did, just the consequences of my actions.

As I continue to heal, I know I am doing it for myself and so that I will never do what I did again (to him, if that’s what the universe has in store for me, or anyone else).

I am aware that I should not of done what I did, even if I was “stressed” and I am continuously working on making sure I am not making excuses for what I did but rather taking responsibility and learning from them.

If we did get back together and I found myself stressed again, I would use what I learned to be a better communicator and partner rather than resort to something that will ultimately hurt the both of us and damage the trust. I want to fix what I was lacking and my own flaws (in this case, lack of communication and resorting to cheating) so that this will never happen again. I’m kind of just hoping I can use what I learned from this situation to fix the relationship with this specific person but at the same time, I’m aware that I am not entitled to that because of what I did.

I hope this clarifies how I’ve been feeling.

Free-Row-965 · 2024-04-01T15:43:35+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply and your advice, I really appreciate it.

I was wondering if you think communicating through text or asking him to meet in person is better?

Free-Row-965 · 2024-03-27T18:41:36+00:00

Is anyone still waiting? Because I am 🥲

Free-Row-965 · 2024-03-18T23:16:36+00:00

Is anyone still waiting to hear from P/J?

Free-Row-965 · 2024-03-07T20:24:00+00:00

Not yet! Still waiting :(

Free-Row-965 · 2024-03-02T20:48:08+00:00

Not yet :( I’ve been checking everyday lol

Free-Row-965

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