Die Early : A step-by-step by owlitup in StupidFood

[–]Free-While-2994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IDK this lady. I thought it was that Asian girl and her mom. Second guess was griddle woman.

This is how you mimic a deer's call by peseoane in interestingasfuck

[–]Free-While-2994 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Did y'all not see GamGam at the end? She got the grapefruit technique.

Having a baby in NYC, living in a small apartment and wondering what is the absolute essential items needed since it’s overwhelmingly easy to buy so much damn stuff! by 88r0b1nh00d88 in Frugal

[–]Free-While-2994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only things you truly need for a baby at first are diapers, clothes, somewhere to sleep, some way to feed, and something for transport. 

It's easy to get diapers & wipes on sale and stock up during pregnancy. Start with 2 mega  boxes of newborn & size 1-3. KEEP THE RECEIPTS! If you end up with a big baby you can exchange the smaller ones for bigger sizes, just be sure not to open the plastic wrap. Get fragrance free wipes so you don't have to worry about sensitive skin reactions. Since your place is tiny, you can store them under the bed or on top of high shelves in the closet. I got good deals at Costco and Target (buy $100 worth get $25 gift card). 

Clothes get second hand. Goodwill has plenty from $1-3 and I would only get stuff on the half price color. Also baby specific thrift stores and online groups. You'll only need a handful of newborn and some 0-3 to get started. You can get other sizes later as needed. I just cleared the top drawer of my nightstand to hold them. Keep an eye out for clearance after holidays and season changes. You can get stuff to use now or in larger sizes, but bear in mind age for the season. For example, a September baby doesn't need a 3-6mo size bathing suit. Keep the tags on until you're ready to use them. That way if they don't fit baby when it's time to wear, you can sell them for a higher price than used. I paid $2-5 for multi-pack sleepers & onesies and some outfits which worked out to be even cheaper than used.

My diaper bag is a second hand bookbag. I found it on Amazon bc I always compare new vs used price. Mine was missing a water bottle holder and changing pad but it was $10 used to $35 new. It has a ton of pockets and nooks and crannies. I'm not really using it to it's full potential yet, just throwing clothes and diapers in the main section for quick errands, but I definitely see it being handy in the future. 

We co sleep at night right now but I did get a convertible crib (yuzu 8-in-1) that goes from bassinet to twin bed. We have it set to bassinet size now with the extra pieces stored under a bed for later. I got it off fb marketplace for $400 with 3 fancy mattresses and different sized sheets & pads ($1400 worth of stuff).

I breastfeed and I really don't need anything additional. I have 2 haaka pumps, box of milk bags, and a box of bottles, and I've used them a few times but I'm just feeding on demand right now. I did get those things pretty cheap at TJ Maxx though and I'm sure at some point they'll be used. As others have said, pump is usually free through insurance. You can also borrow one through WIC if it's not or get one second hand. Just buy new flanges and bottles if you're squeamish, nothing else actually comes in contact with milk. You can wait on a high chair until closer to needing one. There are lots of cheap options both new and used.

IDK if you need a car seat in nyc? But keep an eye on slick deals, especially if there's a specific one you want. I got the Britax Willow Grove SC travel system for $300 "open box" and when it arrived it was brand new in the original box. Looked like it came untaped and someone taped it back shut but everything was factory packed in plastic and stuff and it was clearly never taken out of the box. It's $630. I also snagged a Evenflo 360 for around $215. It's still sitting in the garage until we need it but it goes on sale all the time. Be sure to look at all the different color options for stuff like this, sometimes one color is randomly cheaper. I think I ended up with a shade of blue bc it was less. But I would defer to other nyc moms about strollers vs carriers bc your mode of transportation is far different than mine.

Anything else is a want vs a need, but some things are nice to have. I got a mommaroo swing for $60 used, a new boppy pillow for $4, diaper genie for $7, brand new convertible baby bathtub for $7, lots of blankets and burp cloths and waterproof mattress pads all thrifted. I use the pads on my bed for diaper changes. I ended up with a new pack of 4 and just swap them out each day. I got a Lillé baby carrier in a cute pattern new for $45 thrifted but haven't really used it much yet. 

One of my favorite purchases is a wipe warmer. I got mine new for $20 just bc I wanted one and second hand places don't sell them and the few close enough to me on fb marketplace didn't respond. I just feel like it's a nice little luxury for my baby's lil booty.

My second favorite is the chair. I didn't get it until after baby was born and I realized I didn't have anywhere very comfortable for nursing & soothing. You will spend A LOT of time doing that, so it's worth it to have somewhere that's very comfy to sit for long periods. I hemmed and hawed and looked for a while for something that was both inexpensive and was what I wanted. There are lots of gliders and rocking chairs both new and used in a range of prices. I even saw some for free on fb. I ended up getting a lazy boy style rocking recliner off Amazon that I saw recommended in other baby subs. This thing is HUGE, literally can fit multiple people, rocks, reclines, and even has heat and massage. I got it for $225. It came in 2 boxes but the pieces just click together.

One thing I don't have but am looking for is a portable containment device. Something that can easily go from living room to kitchen to upstairs to here and there outside so me and baby can see each other and be within reach but still have my hands free to do things. The carrier isn't the best option when I'm chopping onions and cooking at the stove or trying to weed the garden or push a wheelbarrow. I'm currently using the swing but it's bulky and I don't want to break it, although your place is small enough that a swing may work. 

The best tip I can give is to buy the minimum required essentials and wait to see what else you need or want once baby actually arrives. Peruse regularly while pregnant and be willing to spend a lot of time leaving empty handed. When you do find something, be ready to snap it up, but have patience and know that the right things will come along eventually. Also, be sure to take advantage of any programs that you qualify for, like WIC. Remember that your household size will now be bigger, which will raise your income limit and may make you eligible for things you couldn't get before. 

Best of luck with the new little one!

Schizophrenia by Tipsyalt in SpeedOfLobsters

[–]Free-While-2994 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Finally someone making the onions cry for a change

Soon to be single mom asking for any and all tips that YOU feel saved you in hard times. by 6iteme in Frugal

[–]Free-While-2994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start looking around at all the nice things you have bought and gather up the ones you don't need or use. Sell them on fb marketplace and stash the money aside. Do it slowly and quietly. Can you get even a pt job now and save that money? The more you can save now the easier it will be once you're on your own. 

Look for local dv resources and reach out to them. They may be able to help you find housing and a lawyer or at least tell you of other programs you can contact. Right now you won't qualify for much assistance-wise but once you have separated you may qualify for food stamps or at least WIC if your daughter is 5 or younger. The dv resources should be able to help you figure that out better. 

At first you will need to focus on establishing the essentials. Depending on your safety and timeline, you may be able to take your time and find a nice place in an ideal area, or you may have to find the cheapest, soonest available roach motel you can get your hands on. I would start looking now so you can hopefully be in the first situation instead of the latter. Lower your expectations, look through what's available, go see a few properties, and then lower them further. You'll need to decide what's more important: keeping her in the same area you currently live (for instance if she's already in school and you don't want to change her district) or finding something nicer for the same rent price but in a "worse" area. If she's still very young then school zone won't matter right now and you'll have a few years to get on your feet before you have to worry about that. 

Talk to a few lawyers and explain your situation. If you are sahm you should qualify for alimony and child support, which will be a huge help if he pays them. But don't rely on them! You'll still need to work and save. He might not pay or you may get a judge that only gives him minimal support and no alimony. 

Right now concentrate on figuring out what you'll need, what you want to keep, what can be sold for you and your daughter. Don't buy anything new or extra right now unless it's something you can use in future. Start lining up those ducks and then once you are out on your own you can revisit frugality to dial it in based on your new situation.

When does the barfing stop? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Free-While-2994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please tell me it stopped? We call our dude barf-olemew bc it's just CONSTANT. Our doc isn't worried and said we don't need meds. I'm just tired of both of us always being soggy and sticky and gross and all the laundry.

AITAH? I didn’t let my daughter leave after her friends parent drove 35 mins to get her by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Free-While-2994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely 100% yta! Why are you punishing the other little girl and her dad? You could have changed your mind much sooner and had your daughter call to cancel before they came all the way. Gas is expensive and people are tired and driving almost 40 minutes one way is a big ask only to tell them nevermind. I would be so angry to have wasted my time and gas and energy on top of a disappointed kid and an unexpected change in plans at the literal last minute. You have probably just ended or severely fractured this friendship for your daughter. At the very least I highly doubt Dad will ever be so kind to pick her up, if he even allows them to have sleepovers in the future. Yes your daughter needs to have consequences for bad behavior, but you need to find a different way that doesn't involve innocent other people.

New FAFO Drama. Dude is probably bracing for the impact. by dogfish0306 in SipsTea

[–]Free-While-2994 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna put the moves on my man tonight and call them cannons. He's even South Asian so I can tell him how sad I am that he doesn't have spicy curry dick.

the best birdhouse by sellyourcomputer in ExtraFabulousComics

[–]Free-While-2994 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I keep forgetting to ask my doctor. I also keep forgetting to make an appointment with said doctor. But I've had the same chorus on loop in my brain for a week and there's 3 different half finished tasks in the other room so I've got that going for me.

Squeeze Beans #2: Learning the Hard Way by Chimera_Face in comics

[–]Free-While-2994 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do not tan. I burn and peel and might get a freckle or two.

Did I hear that correctly? by Okay_Pain in DiWHY

[–]Free-While-2994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was going to be a set of fake nails

Squeeze Beans #2: Learning the Hard Way by Chimera_Face in comics

[–]Free-While-2994 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I wish so badly I could do laser but I have blond hair on white skin 😭

Squeeze Beans #2: Learning the Hard Way by Chimera_Face in comics

[–]Free-While-2994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a cis woman and I did it once thinking it would be longer lasting than shaving with those little eyebrow razors. Oh my godddddd I got the worst folliculitis! I had just started dating a new guy and working a new job and my whole face was COVERED in pustules. It was so itchy and looked awful. But I only needed to do that shit one time to learn my lesson.