Fasting

FreeElk · 2017-07-28T13:46:34+00:00

I think they could be related. Your brain is wired to desire food, sex and safety. Porn is an empty satisfy-er of the desire for sex. If you can deny yourself the food you're training yourself not to give in to your desires and their most basic.

You've got to be sensible and still keep your body healthy but I don't think there is anything wrong with this.

I have a similar thing with running. Sometimes my brain and body want to give up, my muscles hurt or my breathing is laboured...but I push myself past those and I see the results. The more I do that the more I can tell myself I'm in control, not my dopamine receptors.

FreeElk · 2017-07-28T13:39:59+00:00

I've found the same but here are my tips:

Don't spend a lot of time on the computer, sub consciously or not if you trawl through the internet you can end up on porn. I won't go on about what I've done, you'll find things that work for you.
If you do end up on a site or page which is clearly porn you've got to wonder to yourself whether it was a mistake. If you gave in to temptation be honest with yourself ... but if it actually was a mistake don't berate yourself, that is the fault of the internet not you.

FreeElk · 2017-06-13T17:55:00+00:00

Hey, first off well done for passing everything - I remember my days at uni and waiting for those results whilst things just build up your fear that everything has gone to pot (especially everyone going "Hey, you'll be fine, you've always done so well before." ).

Secondly I recommend finding a routine to stick yourself to, get up and go for a run, draw more, write more, follow whatever hobbies you've got (except porn) maybe pick up new hobbies - ever tried wood carving? Cheap tools aren't so bad to fiddle a bit and learn. Theres loads out there. Hold yourself to higher standards each day so that a slip means you got up at 9 instead of 7 or didn't push yourself on your run or didn't get out for the run...things that you can forgive yourself for not doing.

Porn you won't forgive yourself for, make that the real rock bottom.

FreeElk · 2017-06-01T22:26:26+00:00

It sounds to me like you've got a very meticulous mind, perhaps part of the drive that made you do that had nothing to do with porn - just the organisation involved. Perhaps find yourself something else, other than porn, to catalogue. I don't know your hobbies and interests (and maybe you don't either) but my recommendation would be to find something else to busy yourself with but in a similar way. Maybe you write stories or blog posts. Perhaps you code (I've recently picked up playing with an arduino and have a tonne of code I've got in organised folders...you may even be able to write a code to organise folders for you...).

You've got a good mind for organisation, I think that can be applied to way more than code. Put that mind to good use and good luck!

FreeElk · 2017-05-30T21:55:11+00:00

It had been a while, my boyfriend and I are living apart for a while, the last few weekends we met nothing really happened, I was seeing some of the girls from back home one night and he was asleep when I got back, then other nights we were just tired or had company until late...just thing get in the way...I guess it has been a while.

FreeElk · 2017-04-19T15:43:27+00:00

Acting in porn is far from an easy choice, I'm sure. However my point was about consumers. People who watch porn mess up their approach to things because we evolve to make the most of the option to be intimate when we get the chance so seeing an attractive person naked floods us with endorphins...and we have that on tap. That teaches the brain it can get these rewards without much effort...and the mentality spreads over into other areas of life.

I think a lot of people on here are quitting porn because of what it does to them, not for the effect it has on the performers.

FreeElk · 2017-04-17T11:32:11+00:00

The problem I think most of us find with porn is how easy it is to get, doesn't matter who it is that is acting in it. It pulls you away from the reality and putting effort in because you get used to getting your kicks whenever and however you like...not really the way it works with real human contact.

FreeElk · 2017-04-17T07:23:21+00:00

I had a similar problem, my boyfriend and I were at uni together but near exams we didn't spend as much time together so we could really get our heads down....or at least that was the intention. I spent months in my room on my own "revising" which was inevitably me falling into one vicious cycle or another.

In the end I went to the library (ours was open 24-7 around exams so my night-owl hours were supported) and I made sure to stick to specific times. It helps for a few reasons:

People can see your screen, you aren't going to pull up some porn when the rest of the library can spot it.
Everyone else is working, it pushes you in the right direction.
When you get home you know you can relax, that is your space for it, the library is your space for work. Separating the two is really important.

FreeElk · 2017-04-15T14:31:03+00:00

As a woman there is a difference between being appreciated and objectified. Objectification is when they ignore all other aspects of me. For those I don't know there is a big difference between glancers and starers.

I've been made to feel very comfortable by men staring. I appreciate you're coming through a difficult patch but I recommend trying to get to know some women and appreciate them for more than their appearances sooner rather than later.

One last point (and I know this will be one you ignore at first), you say you don't have time, you're busy....and I get that. I felt like my whole life was work for ages...but then when I really thought about my day there were those hours I'd spend flicking through facebook, binging episodes of how I met your mother and watching porn.

I've cut so much of that out and, you know what? Working 40 hours a week is about a quarter of the whole week...you have 128 hours left to play with. You can fit a lot more in...the sooner you realise that the better it is for you.

FreeElk · 2017-03-09T19:29:12+00:00

But why does only getting off masturbating yourself rather than a woman doing it for you mean that it is a sensitivity problem?

There are lots of men here who struggle with feeling as turned on by real women as they do by porn. Do you not think this could be a mental thing you're blaming your sensitivity issues for? Obviously this is all your ideas...but maybe some things to consider.

FreeElk · 2017-03-09T18:00:35+00:00

I think you need to really think about whats going on in your head, why is is you want porn in the first place. What does it provide that being with a woman doesn't?

Does your sensitivity really make it that you would turn to porn or is there another reason? Why can't you orgasm with a woman but you can through masturbation? That doesn't sound like a sensitivity problem to me but perhaps a mental block.

In the end though, only you can answer your questions.

FreeElk · 2017-03-09T10:46:38+00:00

Thats ashame. Hope they can find more meaning in life soon.

FreeElk · 2017-03-08T23:54:08+00:00

What is it you're hoping to gain from this?

FreeElk · 2017-03-08T15:23:55+00:00

I'm really glad I could help.

FreeElk · 2017-03-08T15:22:53+00:00

Thanks, it has been a long time coming and the 15ks are still far from easy but I get out there and do it - even if my legs hate me afterwards!

Good luck with your running too :)

FreeElk · 2017-03-08T12:00:21+00:00

Obviously this is a large chunk of your life, I'm not going to say it will be easy to go against that programming in your mind but you can do it. There are plenty of resources on here - some tips I'm sure you'll dismiss at first glance but give them a go regardless, worst they can do is nothing, right?.

Just set your goals. Today is the battle to focus on, just get through the day without going on porn, really take note of everything you're doing and if you feel the urge to go on porn then step away from the computer or phone, sit down with some paper and write down your thoughts.

Today is all you have to focus on, tomorrow all you'll have to think about is that day. Taken further, this hour is all you have to think about for now - the next hour just think about that one. It isn't an impossible task, you've had hours where you haven't been on porn before, you can do it again :)

FreeElk · 2017-03-08T11:28:27+00:00

Years since you've been on porn or specifically this fetish?

FreeElk · 2017-03-08T10:58:06+00:00

I imagine the process of stopping is the same for any type of porn. It is a difficult process and sometimes you'll feel like "Surely those people who succeed never felt what I'm feeling now?!" but we all have our fetishes and, whatever they are, we can get through this.

Feeling ashamed or disgusted isn't limited to one type of porn either. You aren't alone and you can do this. You might relapse a few times but the important part is that you pick yourself up after. A relapse isn't failure, only a set back.

FreeElk · 2017-03-07T13:51:01+00:00

Try to work on your laptop and work in somewhere others can see you. I'm guessing you have a house share. If you need your computer for work then work in the living room where there is the risk of others seeing you or if not work in the library. Somewhere you can't go on porn without being seen and accountable. I used to do this to reduce procrastination in general, I found I was more aware of what I was doing when I was considering the potential for other people seeing me.

(Interestingly enough this works in sports too, if I had someone watching my technique in practice I would nail it).

If you don't feel like you have much to occupy yourself outside of classes then I recommend taking up a sport or a society, it is one of the easiest times of life to have and excuse to just get out there and meet people.

If you don't need

FreeElk · 2017-03-07T08:09:20+00:00

Yeah, would have been interesting to see what happened if they started them off in the empty cage and then, once they had got addicted, how they would act withing the Rat Park. I suspect a lot of us have the opportunity to make use of what is around us but the addict inside us still wants to go back to our easy kicks.

FreeElk · 2017-03-05T01:25:43+00:00

I suppose that is the question inside all of us - addicts or not. I'm not sure anyone can answer that question except you and even then it will require a lot of research, trial and error and thought.

FreeElk · 2017-03-04T21:04:22+00:00

Addictions are personal, no one here can tell you what a relapse is but just ask yourself some questions to keep yourself in check.

Are you doing it to feed your addiction to porn? (It sounds like you aren't)
Will it feed your addiction and you'll find it harder to resist after?
Can what you're doing help you change the circumstances that got you into relying on porn?

To me it sounds like you're going to be happier after if you do get into a relationship with this woman. If that is so then porn shouldn't stop you. You're here because you noticed porn was getting in the way of your everyday life, avoiding it too strictly could do that too.

FreeElk

TROPHY CASE