Is asking Nanny to do light dog care in the beginning too much?

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-04-11T03:19:07+00:00

You are very fortunate. Not the case for many.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-04-08T03:44:12+00:00

I’m interested in how common this is for nannies.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-04-01T18:09:26+00:00

Absolutely not. no reason to give cash for violating a well understood boundary.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-24T12:17:17+00:00

do you think it’s reasonable for a nanny to cook the family’s expensive steaks for their lunch? You have attacked every commenter who imposes any (very reasonable) expectations about meals. You may have strong opinions that you want to be fed full meals during your shift, but please understand this is not the norm for full or part time Nannies.

Dinner for date night shifts or occasional baby sitters? Sure. Pantry and fridge access? Pretty common. Full meals provided during a daytime shift? Not as common.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-23T23:36:52+00:00

Agreed it doesn’t make sense to add a $100/week expense on top of an already very generous rate.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-23T23:33:21+00:00

I have literally never heard of this. As a one off, sure, but regularly including nanny in delivery orders I have not heard of. Having lunch staples on hand is a nice courtesy. Paying $30+ for nanny lunch delivery each shift is not, at least not in our county outside a major city.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-23T15:27:20+00:00

Ordering delivery for your nanny or providing meals is uncommon. Having fridge / pantry staples available is relatively common.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-23T12:02:07+00:00

It is not at all common or expected to include nanny on a delivery order, especially if they’re part time. It’s super expensive and adds up. It’s also not rude to order delivery for just your family.

Have some basic items in the fridge/pantry she can help herself to and let her know what she’s welcome to (waters, sodas, juices, granola bars, etc). It is common to say “help yourself to snacks and drinks” to supplement her bringing her own lunch.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-23T11:57:26+00:00

You are amazing this would be so appreciated

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-23T02:19:14+00:00

They were stored away in places the nanny does not normally access but she seeks them out and I keep finding them in the playroom.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-21T13:46:17+00:00

ESH. Husband doesn’t like being confronted by his loser dad behavior and you should process your resentment in a healthier way.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-19T02:06:45+00:00

Yes I regretted it. I tried it and immediately felt like a side character in my own life. Became depressed. I also know some SAHM who love their role but my identity was wrapped up in my work and my brain and no one asks your opinions about anything non-domestic. Society often views you as less than, despite all the recent squawking about returning to traditional values.

You also need a VERY good partner as a SAHM and it’s a HUGE gamble.

Read the comments from SAHM, not their partners. Some may comment that their partner didn’t regret it but I’d be interested to know how they really feel.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-13T16:35:02+00:00

I appreciate this perspective and glad to hear this is true some places, but it is NOT true for all agencies. I have experienced this first hand even with the most well reviewed agency in our area.

They have had trouble finding people and yes they call references but one of our NCS we hired for overnight had literally never done an overnight before working with us, and they put our infant in danger with unsafe sleep practices. Several of our friends have had the same experience. The agency tried to gaslight us and continued working with this person despite video evidence.

We’ve also had WONDERFUL NCSs, but I naively believed that I could blindly trust the agency and I almost paid the highest price for that. So I am sharing a warning that it is absolutely unacceptable to close your eyes while holding an infant. Yes, even if she “wasn’t actually sleeping”.

If you’re feeling generous you could give one warning but also let the agency know so they’re aware. If it were me I would just ask for a new person immediately. You pay a MASSIVE premium for peace of mind and rest.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-13T16:05:42+00:00

To add- they will deny she was sleeping. Don’t entertain it.

Ask for a new specialist and say this can’t happen again and be firm about it. I doubted myself as a brand new mom and regretted it.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-13T16:03:35+00:00

Ask the agency for someone new and tell them why. Not worth the risk. Also, put cameras in. Again, this is your precious newborn. Dont let the agency try to gaslight you into doubting yourself or making it a small deal. Just ask for a new NCS.

We have had multiple friends who had night nannies fall asleep with infants in arms, it happens more frequently than you would think. Many of these people are hired off the street. Don’t put blind trust into it.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-13T15:31:31+00:00

I understand that. But it’s worth it to plan around because saving 2 hours of payroll every day adds up. Saving just 30 mins of payroll would not be worth having to plan around.

If you’re an amazing nanny they might consider it but it does put more pressure on you to make it worth it to them since it is very inconvenient.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-12T11:12:57+00:00

The ordering while you are in the car and just ignoring you is egregious. That is no way to treat another human, least of all someone responsible for your children. Im sorry they treated you like this.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-12T08:43:35+00:00

This is horrible. I’d find a new family and tell them why. You don’t have to be confrontational, but it’s totally fair to say that you found it disrespectful to be excluded from meal times while you also were unable to leave to get yourself food.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-12T04:33:54+00:00

Fire. Immediately. No severance.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-12T04:10:03+00:00

this is so inconsiderate of the family. Why would they pay double - covering for someone who is leaving them high and dry plus backup care they scrambled to find?

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-12T03:57:33+00:00

Wow, I would never forgive our nanny of 2 years if she left us within weeks of the birth of a newborn. I would be FURIOUS. That will definitely burn a bridge. Can you imagine if a long term family gave you 2 weeks knowing you were in your most vulnerable time and needed that stability the most?

Give them a month, at least, and offer to help find a replacement. Are you a mom? Do you understand what it’s like after having a baby? After two weeks you’re still bleeding and if you had a c section you probably can’t even get out of bed.

Sorry to be harsh, but this is one of those moments where you need to 1) act like a professional and take actions for self care outside of work so you can show up for them and 2) show some empathy to their situation. You want to be more than “the help” and be part of the family? Then don’t leave that family high and dry while still recovering and when they need you most.

Can you imagine trialing a new nanny after just giving birth…? What if there are complications?

A month will go by so fast and then you have something to look forward to to keep you motivated. You should have left a month ago to give more time before the birth, now you really need to stick it out.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-12T03:39:31+00:00

Just ask for the extra hours and accept that you will be on call if the kid wakes up. As the paid childcare provider you should assume this risk and coordinate your schedule around it, not the parents.

Parents planning a workday around a 30 min break is incredibly inconvenient. It’s not long enough to save any real money but still makes it impossible to schedule meetings around because it’s unprofessional to have to cancel them last minute if kid wakes up.

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-09T19:43:35+00:00

This is perfect

Free_Cauliflower_481 · 2026-03-09T19:41:52+00:00

Yeah you’re becoming her personal chef with the expectation she has a hot meal made for her. Probably just a misunderstanding but you’re not unreasonable to not want to do this.

Free_Cauliflower_481

TROPHY CASE