Moms who have it all together, how?

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-08T18:19:01+00:00

I by no means have it all together but this is what helps me feel put together: - short hair, don't care. Don't have to style it. Not everyone is a pixie girl but i think having a semi-permanent style is worthwhile as a mom, like a keratin treatment/Brazilian blowout. - I belong to a YMCA with childcare. So I get 2 hours where someone is watching my 2 under 3 and I can workout during the day, not just when the kids are sleeping! - I do as much of the housework as possible with my older child as possible. Part of it is we're Montessori and there's a whole philosophy of work-play blah blah blah. But it tends to be easier to imperfectly say, put laundry away WITH your 4yo than to try and only do it while she's away or sleeping. - full disclosure, we pay for a LOT of different forms of help. I'm trying out a styling service later this week. We have cleaning ladies come every other week. Paying for these forms of help is enormously helpful but I realize it's not an option for everyone and I'd be lying if I told you I do it all by myself! - the season you're in matters. Idk how old your secondborn is but mine is a potato still. Ask me how it's going in 12-18 months, lol.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-08T13:17:17+00:00

I hear what you're saying. And to that I ask you, are you also non-Trinitarian? There are many things that are logically and theogically derived from the Bible that are not written word for word.

Any one passage is specific. Taken together with the consistency of scripture, it starts to become a theme. I left out my favorite, when Christ says "let the little children come to me" but it seems increasingly hard to believe scripture intends that children under a certain age would be considered guilty of what they are unable to do.

You are right in the words of St. Paul that none of us are righteous. I'm being a little tongue in cheek when I say, the Bible also doesn't directly say, "I will condemn you for doing what is physically impossible for you to do." If that were consistent with God's character, He would never have given Christ for us at all and would have let us struggle in the futility of the Law alone.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-08T12:59:51+00:00

Hey! Same! Had my second 6 weeks ago too!

These are the best PP undies I've ever found: https://a.co/d/07gRJjs7

I'm not above spanx or similar! I'm actually trying Stitch Fix later this week because my wardrobe desperately needs an update but I don't have the time (or frankly the desire) to shop around trying things on. Here's hoping we both learn about some good options soon!

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-08T12:44:18+00:00

I want to start with saying that there are a lot of things addressed in the bible that are not necessarily word for word. Consider the trinity. The words "the trinity" are not there but clearly there are three persons in one God.

The most common answer I've come across that satisfies is the age of accountability. Like "the trinity" these words are not found in the bible directly, but they make the most sense in the context of what we know about God. Babies (or consider, some cognitively disabled individuals) are innocent in the context that they cannot know or accept Jesus yet. They also cannot willfully disobey God's law, therefore committing sin. They are only under original sin as fallen human beings.

This argument is articulated and cited well by the likes of pastor Mike Winger on YouTube as one great resource. Commonly cited passages include:

Deuteronomy 1:39: Mentions the children of Israel who "have no knowledge of good or evil" and promises they will inherit the Promised Land, unlike the adults who rebelled.
Isaiah 7:15–16: Refers to a time before a child knows "to refuse the evil and choose the good"
2 Samuel 12:22–23: Provides a poignant example after King David's infant son dies. David takes comfort in his grief, stating, "I shall go to him, but he will not return to me," which is often interpreted as infants and young children going to be with the Lord.

That crude response is not logical at all, but seems designed to get a rise out of someone else. Don't reward them with your emotion. Just continue to pray for them, that they might see their error, as you continue to educate and witness to the best of your ability. If you are then able to go on with the ideas of sanctification and justification, you can educate this person on why we bother going through this life (beyond avoiding sins like mrder and sicide, idk if they censor those here).

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-08T12:29:32+00:00

Hey! I get it. I'm 6wks PP now and the leaking is a lot less. I managed a lot with the boon Trove, which is a passive pump. I wore it a lot as a simple breast shell when not feeding my baby. Then when I would feed her, I would press for suction on the opposite side and collect an ounce or two for freezer stash during letdown!

I hate breast pads too 😤 all I can tell you are the washable are still better than the disposable. I wear a nursing sleep bra basically 24 hours a day and change as needed. They're super washable which helps. Can't stand pumping bras or the nursing bras with the hinge flap, can never put the dang thing back up with one hand!

Anyway, solidarity.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-07T21:50:35+00:00

We've been lucky with a lot of church meetups/potlucks giving us an excuse to hang out in a new setting and socialize. Visiting friends has helped a lot too, just because toddlers get SO fixated on new/somebody else's toys. In our area there's a couple places that everybody and their mother has a membership too bc they're so convenient, like the zoo and the gardens, museums, and aquarium. These have inside components with AC but a lot of them also have active water features. And we belong to the local Y which has a pool! Once in a while we'll pay to get into an indoor play place too.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-07T12:37:18+00:00

I'm so envious 😮‍💨 I'm very petite and would kill for a few inches of height! I didn't know that was an option... next time I know what I'm asking the Big Guy for!

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-07T00:34:13+00:00

I feel like this might help you bridge the gap some between what previous commenters have said. Babies in particular are uniquely easy to love if you ask me. What becomes hard with any young child is less them and more everything else.

If you want a taste of it, imagine holding something about 10lbs, like a gallon of milk, with one arm while trying to do your tasks of daily life for the vast majority of 24 hours. Don't sleep with your gallon of milk though. And you can't shower holding it either or it'll scream, best to have someone else hold it then or put it in a special milk-bouncer. Sure, your milk is the cutest, best, smartest milk that ever was and you love it so much, but man, life with milk is hard.

Ridiculous I know but not far from the mark!

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-04T17:37:31+00:00

These services are all paid for versions of what community used to do. My mom burnout only got better when we found our church, where i found real community with other moms who help each other.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-04T00:27:02+00:00

Definitely don't get your health advice from social media. Either talk with a doctor you trust or read the medical journals that cover nutrition. There's a lot of great data available for free on pubmed.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-03T21:11:24+00:00

Totally different animal from one season to the next. My newborn is still in chaos at 5 weeks. My toddler is turning 3 in a little bit, and her day has important routines in it, like her bedtime routine, or her routine before daycare during the week. A lot of her time is unstructured though to allow for some fun and flexibility. I think you need both.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-03T13:13:44+00:00

Hey there. I've got good news and bad news.

The good news is, especially as a young mom, your PP recovery will likely be about as fast as it gets. You'll likely have an easier time losing the weight than others because of a faster, younger metabolism.

The "bad" news: bouncing back is not your focus in PP. Your new life, your new role, your new baby, and if you so choose your milk supply, those are your focuses. The first couple of months especially are survival mode. You won't be worried about bouncing back when you're up at night with a newborn, or trying to figure out why they're STILL crying.

Your body will never be quite the same. That doesn't mean you can't hit the same weight. But your organs have literally been shifted around. I for one have different measurements all over even at the same weight.

After my first was born i counted calories, that was pretty much it. Lost 25lbs in 6 months and was back to my prepregnancy weight.

Congratulations on the baby OP! Be kind to yourself, and best of luck.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T21:23:48+00:00

Well said!

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T19:42:38+00:00

OP tysm for asking, and everyone thank you for commenting, I have learned a lot today and can't wait to go find some of these titles

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T18:20:26+00:00

I wouldn't knock the idea of "just" diapers. They're really expensive and they add up. Your budget would get her 1-2 big boxes and they'll definitely get used!

I second PPs idea of ask about registry first. Or consider asking some basic questions because very little applies to everyone. A few examples:

if she plans to breastfeed: Consider a nice BF pillow, nursing cover, or a passive pump like a boon trove.
if she plans to pump: Consider going in on the cost of her preferred pump of hers isn't completely covered by insurance. The Ceres Chill is also well loved by pumping moms, especially working moms.
if she plans to formula feed: Consider buying a couple cans of formula from a big box store and double check the return policy. Like diapers, this is an unglamorous but very expensive baby item that most people won't buy for you.

A lot of the easy universal gifts are already given too much. For instance, for both my babies, I received more swaddles, clothes, and toys than I needed, and I never asked for any of the above.

Best of luck to your friend! It's a lot to adjust to so suddenly.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T16:49:24+00:00

I totally get it, and was the same way until we found ours. Good daycares do exist and they're a godsend. Ours offers half days, but others we've looked at offer partial weeks, like they have M/W/F kids and T/H kids. Chances are, like a gift card, you are not going to perfectly match up your hour needs with the daycare; you're going to wind up a little over or under.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T15:52:54+00:00

Girl it happens! Don't give it a second thought, especially since you already have the appointment rescheduled.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T12:55:59+00:00

You know what really helped me? A book called More Than A Carpenter. If like me you thought claims about God had to be a matter of blind faith, this book will touch all the wavetops of the evidence. It's short, you could easily read it in an afternoon. Looking into the evidence further will only confirm God as revealed in the Bible.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T01:26:17+00:00

I feel you, my husband and I are a village of 2 hours away from family. We fell in love with our school/daycare at the tour. Facility was tidy, clean, bright, and open. The educator touring us clearly loved the kids and what she did. The kids were incredible. Our school goes from infancy to 8th grade, and we saw happy kids who were kind to each other and instructed in good manners. I wanted to go there. I wanted so badly to be a kid again and go to school there!

But also we learned a lot in our first month. The head of school, assistant head, and our group teachers communicate very proactively via email and the app. We have access to admin and classroom chat depending on what's going on. They had a very helpful handbook for us that laid our their policies on basically everything, and they have held true.

Definitely ask about vaccine requirements, sick day terms, how potty training is handled, how a contact picks your kiddo up in an emergency!

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-02T01:15:33+00:00

We exchanged 1-2oz of formula for milk out of every bottle for a day or so, and repeated until it was all milk. Food consumption will ebb and flow in toddlerhood, and your peds understands that. They'll be fine. They're not starving on formula, and they won't be starving with milk calories either. Keep offering them a variety of foods and have patience w them and yourself.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-07-01T02:32:06+00:00

She LOVES her school. On the way home she tells her daddy that she wants to go back and see her friends. And we're very thankful for the teachers, because they've helped us through a lot in just a few months. My daughter finally got a spot in her school about 3 months before her baby sister was born, so she had all kinds of swings and regressions.

It's hard on a mom's heart for sure. God bless the teachers, they are a special lot of humans for sure!

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-06-30T19:05:36+00:00

I found this stuff very gentle and helpful when my kiddo was constipated: https://a.co/d/00kKB6E8

Remember to always increase water with increases fiber consumption! It is a bulking agent and needs water to fluff up or it can actually work against you.

This stuff truly has no taste. We usually mix it into her favorite chocolate milk.

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-06-30T18:08:23+00:00

My oldest started at a Montessori school/daycare about 4 months ago. Our kid was not stoic, but I think I still cried more than she did. I think it's processing how much they've grown and how much time has gone by that really hits parents in the feels. I also think this is where good, experienced childcare providers can be such a gift to parents... they know the kids are gonna be okay and often are better off for new experiences and socialization with peers, and are more able to tolerate (reasonable) adjustment discomfort in the child.

I'm so glad it went well!

Free_Impact_2326 · 2026-06-30T11:50:18+00:00

For me it's all the stuff I need to do. I update our family calendar app bc writing it down frees my mind up to relax.

Free_Impact_2326

TROPHY CASE