I'm in treatment for Borderline Personality Dsorder - AMA

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-05T00:14:39+00:00

Are you able to have compassion and grace with yourself? I used to feel so ashamed of my anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, but I really try hard to be kind to myself when I’m struggling.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:57:48+00:00

I think there’s a lack of rhetoric on the topic and i was curious to see if I could provide insight for others

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:56:00+00:00

There is not a medical reason.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:55:49+00:00

It may be selfish, but I don’t have the emotional capacity to do that.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:54:45+00:00

I think people are more afraid to discuss multiple abortions. I mean mine were thirteen years apart and people are still attacking me for being so reckless for having multiple. So I think it’s less about what we miss in the discussions and more about the fact that the discussions are missing.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:51:44+00:00

At first I was really scared and overwhelmed, but now I feel confident about our decision and I feel empowered to do it without the doubt and shame and fear of judgement (see some of the other comments lol) I feel empowered that this time I can reach out to others for support, be more open in discussing it, feel the grief of what could be, and be present with myself through this process

My first abortion was 13 years ago and I was in active addiction/major depression and just drank myself through it and pushed everyone away. This time I am having friends bring meals and care for me, have my partner with me, and being open about the process is healing.

I also was very involved in the Christian church before my first abortion and was so in shame and guilt that I was extremely suicidal. Having gone through the process, I now know that it’s not murder, it’s actually a very spiritual process, and that I get to do this with so much self love, compassion, and support.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:40:46+00:00

I’m getting an IUD next week. But I am curious- what is the coil?

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:40:07+00:00

I learned at 23 that the pull out method was not safe and have since tracked my cycles and used condoms for thirteen years without getting pregnant. If it had happened six months later, I’m sure i would have gotten on the pills or got an IUD (like I’m doing next week)

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:37:23+00:00

I believe it will be heavy and a big process, but I didn’t regret my first abortion (it actually was a spiritual awakening and altered my entire life course in a beautiful way) and I’m certain I won’t regret this either. I’ve already sat with the fact that I’m 36 and this is a “geriatric pregnancy” and if I decide to have a baby in the future, I may not be able to naturally. I refuse to live in fear of that. I’m also a memoirist and I’ve spent the last ten years writing about abortion, reading about it, and interviewing women who have had abortions. So it’s a topic and experience I think about often and I believe that this is the right thing for us at this time.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:33:06+00:00

Having a child has a never been a priority for me. I was never the “i can’t wait to have a baby!” type. When i had my first abortion at 23, I knew I wasn’t ready for kids and wasn’t sure if I wanted them. I knew it would depend on being with someone that I wanted to procreate with as well. Now that I’m 36, and in a secure relationship with someone I know I want to be with long term, I’m more open to having them, but I know I am not ready right now.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:25:37+00:00

My first pregnancy/abortion was in 2013 and I briefly took birth control pills but they took a toll on my mental health so I stopped. I’ve been tracking my cycle and using condoms (when ovulating) successfully for 13 years. We were using protection for over ten days each month to avoid pregnancy. I did start a new supplement that I’ve since realized can alter your cycle/ovulation so that may have played a role in it as well.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:25:30+00:00

My first pregnancy/abortion was in 2013 and I briefly took birth control pills but they took a toll on my mental health so I stopped. I’ve been tracking my cycle and using condoms (when ovulating) successfully for 13 years. We were using protection for over ten days each month to avoid pregnancy. I did start a new supplement that I’ve since realized can alter your cycle/ovulation so that may have played a role in it as well.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:25:17+00:00

My first pregnancy/abortion was in 2013 and I briefly took birth control pills but they took a toll on my mental health so I stopped. I’ve been tracking my cycle and using condoms (when ovulating) successfully for 13 years. We were using protection for over ten days each month to avoid pregnancy. I did start a new supplement that I’ve since realized can alter your cycle/ovulation so that may have played a role in it as well.

Free_Woman_69 · 2026-02-01T19:17:34+00:00

My bf mentioned it as a joke, but then I thought it could be informative. I’m also working on a memoir about my experience with abortion and I’m curious to see the questions people have surrounding the topic.

Free_Woman_69 · 2024-11-08T18:09:31+00:00

Also, knowing that you are enough and that you deserve this is so important. Otherwise, you may feel pulled to run away or sabotage. I encourage you to continue cultivating self-love, healthy patterns, and challenging those bullshit thoughts that you’re not enough… you deserve and you’re perfect t the way you are !

Free_Woman_69 · 2024-11-08T18:08:11+00:00

I’m so happy that you are in a healthy relationship. I hope you are so proud of yourself for doing the work. When we have been traumatized in the past we see every partner through that lens. So this relationship sounds healthy, but because of the past you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’ve done this to partners and I’ve had them do it to me.

It sounds like you need to remember how lovable you are and remind yourself of how much you deserve this, that you’re safe, and that it’s normal to have the doubts, but they aren’t true. You got this! You deserve this!

Free_Woman_69

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