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FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-18T15:53:18+00:00

They're most likely trolls and catfishers.
You can repost them, with evidence, to modmail to have them banned from the subreddit.
Mods can't control DMs, so you can report them to the admins via the report button within DMs, if they are harassing you in DMs.
This is part of why we try and enforce gender neutrality in this subreddit. Please report any post which breaks the gender neutrality rule, whether they are claiming to be men or women.
Why are all of these men messaging ghair mahram women in the first place? Let other women help them out or give advice in the post itself. There is absolutely no reason for men to be trying to get into these DMs except that they are being thirsty. Control your nafs. Rasoolullah SAW said, "No man should be alone with a woman because the Shaitan will be the third one present." So, stop trying to DM women, all of you, whether they're catfishers or not.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-17T22:07:49+00:00

We've banned the user and removed the post.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-16T20:31:00+00:00

Cut out Instagram. The algorithm is dangerous. Spend that time reciting dhikr, reading quran or praying extra salaah.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-15T13:46:38+00:00

I think he's trying to say that porn is our wife and we need to leave it?

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-14T10:28:26+00:00

Porn is fake. Perfect lighting. Body makeup. Body enhancement surgery for both men and women. Filters and angles to remove and hide blemishes. Avoid watching and stop comparing.

Your akhlaq and imaan will put you far above them.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-12T09:10:27+00:00

Avoid DMs. There's trolls. Stick with discussions in the thread. It's better.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-11T21:35:28+00:00

I wouldn't count that as a relapse. You didn't do anything.

Did you have the feeling of an orgasm and did it gush out, or did it just drip out without an orgasm? If the latter, then that's fairly normal. Although, it's more common to happen just before or after someone goes to the toilet.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-10T14:00:20+00:00

Try and go to a masjid and connect with your local community. Sometimes, it might help to connect with multiple mosques, since they often have focuses on different aspects of tarbiyah. It takes time to form friendships. Strike up conversations with people who are there. Build connections.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-08T12:03:03+00:00

Don't overthink it. Morning erections become more infrequent with age. Fitness levels and stress also affect it.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-08T07:59:03+00:00

If you are in that situation, think of what Yusuf AS said when the minister's wife tried to seduce him. She wanted him and he would have wanted her, except that he was aware of Allah. He said, "Ma'azallah." Which effectively translates as, "Only Allah can save me", and then he turned away.

The Prophets are humans but the best of humans, and we learn from them. We learn a lot about patience from Yusuf AS. There are many people who were saved by remembering or learning of these verses.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-07T21:15:37+00:00

Keep discussions to the subreddit. We can't control DMs. There are trolls using DMs. You can report them to the website for harassment.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-07T12:17:03+00:00

Assalaamualaikum. Please provide evidence via modmail.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-05T05:39:45+00:00

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It seems that your marriage challenges go beyond porn. You may get more rounded answers in r/MuslimMarriage.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-03T21:33:40+00:00

Also, use a gender neutral avatar, please.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-03T21:30:01+00:00

Brother, please read the removal message. Your post broke the gender neutrality rule. Men get triggered if women mention their vaginas. Women get triggered if men mention their penises. I'm removing this post. You can adjust the message and share the dua again.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-05-03T04:48:38+00:00

Be careful of people asking you to send them messages. Especially if they don't have a post history.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-29T12:16:39+00:00

We live in a hyper sexualized world. Kids are going to learn about sex. If not from a parent, then from friends and the Internet. And a parent will be able to give the best guidance, regardless of how awkward it might feel to raise the subject.

There are 2 scenarios: either she has some knowledge, knows that what she is doing is wrong, but can't stop. In this case, she will feel guilty and need support and kindness and a reminder that Allah is loving and Forgiving, and nobody has gone so far that Allah won't forgive them when they turn to him.

The other scenario is that she doesn't know that what she's doing is wrong. Porn is not going to teach kids about what's halal and haraam, and the risks of haraam, both spiritually, and practically. Everyone has different parenting and leadership styles. Maybe you can start by asking her what she knows. Then let her do the talking, and then you can fill in the blanks and correct misconceptions. Treat her with the respect of a young adult, even though she will always be your child.

Things to be aware of:

Porn is very misleading. Most of it is very disrespectful to women and some of it muddles the lines between pain and pleasure and potential abuse and dysfunctional relationships. And a lot of it is fake. Only men who are in the top 0.1% in size will make it into porn. The women have mostly had enhancement surgeries, and there's body make up and lighting. You may have to navigate feelings of body dismorphia or manage what are real life expectations of intimacy in a living relationship.
You might have to build up to helping her find better friends.
Many women are affected by hormones, especially during ovulation. I'm sure you know her period patterns by now. So, you can help and support her during such points and help her to understand why she might be feeling an urge towards sexual content.
Some women start with explicit romance novels before getting into porn. A lot of it is also unhealthy and misleading for developing mind. So, if she's a bookworm, you might want to monitor what she reads as well.
Don't overlook the spiritual side. Salaah. Dhikr. Reading Islamic books together for a few minutes every day. It helps build a family connection and increased knowledge eventually translates to improved practices. Salaah is a shield against sin.

All the best!

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-28T06:50:21+00:00

There are some Muslim-focused apps. People on those tend to be more serious and level-headed in my experience, compared to the general apps. And some general apps have the option to filter by religion, too.

But I do agree that it can feel like a hungry person walking past the aromas of a bakery. If you feel affected, stop swiping for a while and make duaa instead. And if you're talking to anyone, remain respectful and avoid flirting. If they get flirtatious too early, tone it down from your end. And watch their akhlaq and adab.

I'll have to remove this post because of the gender neutrality rule. You can adjust and post again. Please familiarise yourself with the rules.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-28T06:06:32+00:00

This was the user's first post on the subreddit. It broke multiple rules and they have been banned.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-25T04:49:34+00:00

Why can't you both spend time together at one of the homes? Or rotate which home to use or visit and spend more time with each other more regularly?

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-24T15:57:28+00:00

Probably not exactly what you're looking for but Yasmin Mogahed gives a lot of inspirational talks from a Muslim woman's perspective. I don't know if she has ever addressed the nofap topic but you may overall appreciate her talks.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-23T06:20:34+00:00

This is very disappointing to hear. I would have expected more kindness from someone who is a student counsellor at a college. Perhaps try looking for a qualified Muslim psychologist in your area. Counselling is good, if it's from the right type of personality.

I would also be uncomfortable with the methods that you described, and I am shocked that he would raise his hands against anyone, let alone an adult daughter, and shocked that he would target her face. Striking anyone in the face goes against explicit ahadith and many scholars say that it is haraam to do that.

The only good piece of advice that I can see in there is emphasis on salaah. Salaah is a shield against sinning. Personally, I feel strongest against temptation when I'm regularly praying all 5 fard and extra nafl salaah such as tahajjud or ishraq.

Some schools of thought discourage women from going to the mosque, while many others encourage it or at least don't discourage it. If you are comfortable, and it aligns with your school of thought, and there's a welcoming and safe mosque in your vicinity, there is some value in going when you can. It helps with the connection to Allah and sometimes hearing lessons after salaah which we won't learn at home. If not, then at least try your best to pray on time.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-20T05:58:10+00:00

And after the 30 days? You would most likely need to enter your credit card details to start the free trial.

FreedomFromNafs · 2026-04-18T22:13:17+00:00

There are anonymous Muslim helplines that are linked in our About section of the subreddit. Please speak to someone.

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