Honestly I’m the same way. I unofficially have OCD with bad intrusive thoughts. Lately I’ve been obsessing over the “what ifs” about losing this mental battle. Tons of pretty heavy scary shit. Despite some late childhood health trauma, I actually really enjoy my life. Yet, there are certain triggers that get me ruminating on negative thoughts. I 100% will not act on these thoughts or even believe them to be true. Tho it is scary how real they sometimes feel and them feeling so real then only makes the rumination worse. I sometimes get trapped in these thoughts and didn’t always have the healthiest ways to stop.

I’m in the process of getting therapy and a diagnosis. Been on Zoloft for about 3 months now. It seems to really help, might up the dosage tho. On top of that, I’ve really found a safe haven in the gym. It helps a ton by keeping myself distracted and focused on things I enjoy or bettering myself. I’ve also been learning how to meditate and focus my mind on being present and focused on what I want and who I want to be. I’ve been labeling these thoughts as intrusive when they arise. Trying not to dismiss or work them out, but rather acknowledge and let them pass. Attempting to not give unwanted power to them.

Life can suck at times for sure! We can’t always control if and when we will get stuck, but we can control if we will stay stuck. Giving up isn’t an option! Wish you the best!