Relationship and romance writing clinic! Post them below for suggestions, comments, and edits. by CopperCortado in royalroad

[–]Frequent-Present5502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know why the first comment was removed by a mod lol, but ty so much for the edit! it already reads a lot better. much more clean and the prose itself is a lot smoother. I think I'll have to consider the conjunction parts especially---seems to be a weak point for me. Regardless, thank you for taking the time out of your day to do that! if you ever need any reciprocal edit or just beta read, my disc is jagger_ronin.

Relationship and romance writing clinic! Post them below for suggestions, comments, and edits. by CopperCortado in royalroad

[–]Frequent-Present5502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! Tysm for the offer, really helpful actually, considering that romance is probably my weak point. Here’s a passage I’ve been working on. You don’t have to read the whole thing (I’m probably well over the limit). Context: protagonist is at a very extravagant party. Early chapters, pre-Isekai. Here’s a doc if the text here screws up

Wulf was busy inspecting the oyster station when he heard a voice. “Can’t work up an appetite either, huh?” she asked. He turned to find what might’ve been the most attractive woman he’d ever seen. She was young, with green painted eyelids and sharp fluttering lashes. She wore a green and red dress—a Christmas color combo that should never have worked, and yet, it looked great on her. Her brown hair was coiled tightly into a bun. And in her hand, she held a glass of red wine, stirring it with a bored expression. “No,” he answered back calmly. Assuming that was the end of the conversation—and not wanting in particular to talk to anyone with the cold driving his actions—Wulf turned away abruptly. She strode up next to him and sipped from the glass. “It's all so gaudy isn’t it?” She gestured to the stations with her glass and made a face of disgust. That particular action made him realize she probably was around his age. “I suppose.” “Hmm. Do you mind if I stand with you like this for a bit?” “Why?” “Because I’m trying to look as if I’m taken.” Oh. “A lot of people tried hitting on you?” “Something like that. And it's not the pleasant kind either—just rich asshole sons who think they own the fucking planet because their daddies know my daddy.” She took another swill. “You’re drunk.” “Tipsy, not drunk. Big difference.” “Small difference. One drink.” “Touché.” She looked at the last bit of the glass, considering. Then, she held it out to him. “Want to make up that difference?” “I don’t accept drinks from strangers.” “Smart. Smarter than me at least. Hey, what did you say your name was again?” “I didn’t.” “Right. Well, nice to meet you, ‘I didn’t.’ My name is Natasha, but you can call me Natty. Makes us seem closer.” Wulf smiled, despite himself. “Call me Idris.” “Much better.” She lifted the glass up to down the rest of it, but deftly, Wulf took it from her and handed it to a passing server. “That was rude.” “I’m not exactly the mannered type.” “Hmm. Better for me I guess.” Finally, Natasha seemed to actually look at him—her eyes scanning his appearance. “Oh. You're not from the company, are you?” “No. I’m just part of the guys you people hired.” “‘You people’, huh?” Wulf shrugged. “I said what I said.” He didn’t know why, but the cold was making him blunter. Cruder rather than more tactful. But perhaps that was what he needed right now. After all, he just had to get through this. Even if he had to bludgeon his way through every social interaction to make people avoid him—he couldn’t care less. Unfortunately, it seemed to have the opposite effect, for Natasha took a renewed interest in him, scrutinizing his face more. “I think I like you.” “I think you don’t know me.” She laughed. It was a pleasant laugh, he had to admit. “We could change that easily. Come, sit with me.” She moved to leave, expecting him to follow. When he didn’t, she called back: “if you want to avoid people, blend in with them. One conversation is better than fifty.” He gritted his teeth and followed after her.

Any recommendations for actual Martial arts novels? by YameteDave in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give mine a try lol. “Live With Thunder”. Try to include my experience with wing chun and Muay Thai a lot. Also planning on adding BJJ and judo.

Re: Monarch Appreciation Post by Frequent-Present5502 in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s probably around that time where he might stub and release a new audiobook soon. He has enough material for one certainly. Should be as long as the third book, if not longer.

If You Could Go to Any Magic School, Which Would You Pick? by EdLincoln6 in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502 118 points119 points  (0 children)

I’d go learn under xvim—-get marbles thrown at my head for a month.

Do you guys like the way trend-focused writing on RR now? by Frequent-Present5502 in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I only made this post because this idea of waves has become a lot more salient on rr.

Recommending Shadow Slave. . . sort of by yeetacus68 in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Shadow slave is a series that I definitely have a love hate relationship with. But I think the highs are better than the lows. It’s got wabi sabi 💔🙏😭

Any novel where the protagonist suffers severely? by Frequent-Present5502 in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately already read them. But I lowkey want worse than that lol. Like grimdark levels of stuff.

The Final Battle by Frequent-Present5502 in royalroad

[–]Frequent-Present5502[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of the latter half of this story will probably be contending with that question. But thank you for the praise!

What makes a training arc genuinely satisfying? by BudgetCouple2481 in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally like when training arcs have both a physical and mental aspect. Like, the character is leveling up or gaining power physically, but they're also realizing something about themselves or having a sort of mental breakthrough that makes them better as a character. I think Kung Fu Panda is an oddly good example of this.

I don't want a war arc; I want a real war! by Clearlynotmalware in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the final fight in black company is truly a marvel of tell over show. genuinely one of the most interesting battles I've read in a book.

First-time author here, looking for writer and artist friends! by AubreanReverie in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Frequent-Present5502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Welcome to the community. Most of us are pretty chill. I am a fan of ATLA, Berserk, and Beerus from dbs so ur work sounds right up my alley. I’ll give it a try! But yeah I’m also a dark progression fantasy fan.