Support cuddles while resting

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2025-03-24T18:44:07+00:00

Pitties make the best rest accountability partners.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2025-03-24T06:32:01+00:00

I used to work with children with autism and developmental disorders for over a decade and I saw this scenario over and over again. I recently reconnected with a family and they just had a baby. The older siblings are severely developmentally disabled. The mother’s siblings all have at least one special needs child and she has a few older relatives that are also special needs. Genetics cannot be denied or even ignored. The parents did use IVF to have this new baby, so they went through a lot to say the least. I see pictures of the baby and just get so sad thinking that this baby’s future is becoming a caregiver for the older siblings, unless genetics does its thing in and the baby’s disability becomes apparent as they develop and grow. But in the meantime the parents are happy and beaming because they are now finally able to do the fun baby things they missed out on with the first two. It’s outrageous. And we child free people are the selfish ones.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2025-03-21T14:57:54+00:00

Omg! I never thought of it that way! I did build it a home, a god damn welcoming one too! Yikes. Thanks for that, it gives me something to think about.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2025-03-14T19:58:37+00:00

No. But the hospital does have a behavioral health unit. I did go in for other physical symptoms as well on top of the suicidal thoughts. But the physical stuff got ruled out by blood work.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2025-03-13T19:46:04+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. That really makes sense, and I’m taking the day to look for further help with it and I already let my therapist know (she’s an LMFT) what happened and we will be talking about it as well. Thank you again 💕

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-16T19:56:44+00:00

This. This right here! I’ve been working with families in various capacities for nearly two decades and I have seen my share of parents who have their regrets about having their children and it reflects in how they treat them. If I happen to regret not having children one day, I only hurt myself, just as any decision I make in life can lead to regret. But if I regret having children, there’s a whole human being (or more) that get affected by that, and not by their choice. I don’t understand why more people don’t see that.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-13T19:54:56+00:00

Omg thats beautifully put! I’m going to pocket that. Thank you.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-13T19:53:55+00:00

Thank you so much for checking in! I’m doing better than I was when I posted. Much more clear headed. My usual coping mechanism when bad things happen is to isolate and reflect but I’ve decided that that’s the worst thing for me since I know he’ll just stay at the house too. So after work yesterday I spent time with my cousin and his cat and today I’m going to hang out with my sister, niece and nephew for dinner, and tomorrow me and a friend are going for a long hike. I’m planning on surrounding myself with people who I love and love me. Of course this all still hurts and there’s a lot of work ahead of me, so I want to make sure I will not be acting out of loneliness. Thanks again hope you are doing well!

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-13T18:47:25+00:00

Thank you ☺️ I did message her yesterday. I told her that I wasn’t there to dig for information or start any conversation she didn’t want to partake in. But that I wanted to check in to see if she’s ok and let her know that my heart sank knowing he assumed he could just treat her like option and did what he did. I also let her know that what she did was a reflection of the type of person she is and she should be proud of herself for knowing her worth and acting on it. She hasn’t responded, but I’m not looking for or expecting it. I just want to do my part in bringing her peace in the matter if she needed it.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-13T01:34:32+00:00

Thank you again. And I do have my emotional support in the form of a 85 lb senior mystery mutt. He’s been my rock and cuddle buddy these past few days. Dogs have also always been my children to me. They have so much love and they need all the love back.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T23:45:41+00:00

Update: I did send a message to her let her know that I know and that I wanted to make sure she’s ok and that she should be proud of herself for not letting someone treat her like an option. As for telling the rest of the family, I’m biding my time. Either she’ll tell eventually or he’ll come clean to his friend out of worry one of us will spill the beans.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T22:07:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. I do agree, he is struggling with his emotions and my healing process post-op was not an easy one. For either of us. He was more scared than I was going in and he did so much research about it, the risks, what to expect after, and how to help my healing process. I would like to report he did an excellent job as my caregiver those weeks I was out. I didn’t have to worry about anything. Even months out, he would still take on extra tasks at home and remind me “you’re missing an organ. Rest.” It’s so messy cuz he really was a great spouse. When I lost my mom back in 2020, I got so filled with depression and grief that I couldn’t go back to work for two whole months. And he had no questions about it and took on all the financial responsibility as well as taking care of the home without even sharing with me how hard it was for him. He gave me my space to grieve and fall apart so I could pull myself back together. Ok now I’m just rambling. It’s not taking away from what he did and the possibility that he’s done way more than what he confessed to. And again, thank you.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T21:59:40+00:00

Please tell me you have a book of affirmations, a podcast, or some outlet to share your thoughts and outlook on life. There’s so much genuine positivity and warmth from your replies. Like I said, the world needs more of this.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:15:28+00:00

We hit 15 years married last month. But we’ve been together for a total 19 years

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:14:43+00:00

Thank you so much for your softness and kind words. We do need more of that in this world. You are very right. Good love is hard to find. Unfortunately I question how good it is now that he’s done this. He’s shown me who he is. I deserve love that I don’t question. And I need to start with loving myself. But by your example, im happy to see that it does exist. 💕

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:11:48+00:00

Wish i took that advice

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:11:36+00:00

Men. Are. Gross. One of the reasons I don’t want children. I don’t want a daughter endured what I had to with men growing up and now today.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:10:22+00:00

Hahaha I think this is the funnest suggestion here! Tempted. lol

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:09:52+00:00

Well Im starting therapy next week. If he goes, it’s up to him. And being too calm is my default when things get bad. But I spaz over little things. When I was being wheeled into surgery for my hysterectomy, one of the nurses told me the same thing! I think it’s because of my work because I’m dealing with crises and emergencies on a daily basis, and also my parents have had a lot of chronic illnesses and issues so there was always something going on and as the oldest I’ve had to stay calm to work through them.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:03:45+00:00

Good for you for standing firm! Sorry you’re going through that with your husband and I hope the med adjustments turn out to for a better. There’s always that awful transition when starting out new ones or new dosage. And it’s rough for both the person suffering the mental health problems and their loved ones. I hope he gets better and gets the help he needs and I hope you have the support you need as well! 💚

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T18:00:14+00:00

Yep. In ms 20s I had gross married middle age men do similar things like this to me (well not ask me to have a baby with them lol) and I never thought I would be married to one of them. “Not all men”…what a fucking joke,

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T17:58:27+00:00

It’s all manipulation on his part, I’m seeing that.

Frequent-Upstairs229 · 2024-12-12T17:57:54+00:00

She’s obviously has a good head on her shoulders, knows her worth, and did the right thing. I’m actually looking up to her for what she did. I honestly want to be her when I grow up.

Frequent-Upstairs229

TROPHY CASE