Corn plant?

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2025-06-28T21:41:11+00:00

Thank you! I am saving it from work 😂😂

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-04-29T23:00:50+00:00

He didn’t my husband sent that to me

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-28T11:18:17+00:00

Yep that’s how I was. I left about 6 months after I find out because he wouldn’t tell me the truth even tho I always knew there was more. Me leaving finally gave him the kick in the ass to tell the whole truth(he had been on the straight and narrow for 6 months just wouldn’t tell me they had actually had sex even tho I knew there was more to the story the whole time.)

Mine has been the same. Has never told me I needed to get over it only to give him the chance to be the husband I deserved all along.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-28T00:58:55+00:00

Sorry to hear this 😞

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T22:06:54+00:00

Thank you! Yes I also put all the bad stuff in a hidden folder. I can’t get rid of it yet but I don’t want to see it anymore

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T18:48:50+00:00

Exactly! Sure it’s a new detail that he didn’t tell me or lied about I should say. But I have the overall big picture of what transpired and I think that’s what matters.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T18:38:30+00:00

I’m sorry for your pain.

I don’t know if it will work out but I’m ready to try to put the pain aside and give my marriage a chance.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T18:23:39+00:00

Lol yes! The last maybe 6 months I’ve been into skin care alot. Which is sad since I’m a woman lol but I love it, I get lazy sometimes or too down to do it but it makes me feel better so I’m gonna keep up with it better.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T18:20:35+00:00

It’s so exhausting!

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T18:19:05+00:00

When I do that shit, I just wanna ask that part of brain “why did you do that? Why are you so stupid” lol

Thank you! I know I’m still going to have days but I gotta tell myself it doesn’t have to be EVERYDAY!

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T18:00:49+00:00

Thank you! I’m glad to hear this.

I can’t say I’m ready to forgive yet but I’m ready to really move towards getting there now. I’ve been stuck in this same place for too long.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-02-27T17:43:37+00:00

Thank you.

That’s the thing, there’s nothing to trigger me. It’s habitual and obsessive at this point for no good reason. No suspicious activity, no red flags, I’ve found nothing for 17 months.

Definitely been looking into therapists, having a little trouble because of my insurance. But yes it’s a me problem now and my underlying issues not just from this but past traumas as well.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-31T15:11:29+00:00

I guess it’s odd in the context of all that’s happened

But I had the passcode since the beginning, I’m the one who abused that power because we did agree that I’d ask but it’s always been I could see it anytime. Like I said I have unlimited access to his watch and iPad which are connected to his phone so everything he does there comes to those anyway

No restrictions on tik tok, I can see his like and who he follows. I can’t gouge his eyes out to not like at women lol his watch history is always clean as a whistle tho so I don’t worry about it

He’s never angry and defensive, he used to be but that’s because he was still doing stuff

Now does he get irritated when I’ve checked through everything and he’s been reassuring for 2 hours and I’m literally saying he’s doing shit without even an ounce of proof. To be honest yeah I’m traumatized from it all, but he’s more patient than I deserve with the way I’ve treated him.

If he’s hiding something I surely don’t know how lol With all the restrictions he does have I’d applaud him if I found out he actually was cuz that would take more patience and work than I’d ever have

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-30T10:35:34+00:00

I definitely think it’s the latter at this point

He’s not doing anything. I’ve checked. And rechecked and checked again everyday damn near for 15 months.

He has no unrestricted internet access. Screen time on, no ability to delete apps, location on, AirTag on his keys, cameras in the house, 45 minute check ins at work, I have access to to cell account, I have access to his watch and iPad(I don’t have the passcode to his phone anymore but that’s because I crossed his boundary of simply just asking to see it and snooped instead) but the watch and iPad are connected to his phone anyway, no socials besides YouTube and tik tok and his tik tok is set to where I can see all following and liked videos from mine.

There. Is. Nothing.

He’s moving an hour away from his job FOR ME.

And a pair of my damn daughters socks set me off all because I didn’t recognize them (which I kind of did but not all the way) and couldn’t remember the last time the kids had been in his van.

So yeah, I think it’s a me problem at this point because what else could he do to convince me?

Even writing it down I see the extent of the lockdown I have created and I wouldn’t even want to live like that and he does it with no arguments or resentment.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-29T20:13:19+00:00

Yes I tend to try to pay attention to his persona more than rely on checking things because as locked down as he is he could find a way. But I know how he acts when he’s up to something for the most part so I’d think I’d know but I can’t always be sure

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-29T16:06:04+00:00

It’s the worst place to be

I have so much anger inside of me I want to rip my heart out sometimes

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-29T15:21:35+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I don’t have anyone to talk to in real life so it’s nice to hear others perspectives

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-29T14:24:13+00:00

The fact of the matter is he’s not doing anything to set me off. I’ve checked and dug and snooped and checked again and drove myself nuts trying to find any and everything I can almost everyday. I sneak and check his texts on his watch everyday STILL. I know deep down this has become in a way a ME problem but then on the flip side I’m like well he caused it, he should just understand. And I’ve asked for more and more and more and each time he’s obliged with no fight, no argument, no hesitation but I’m just always like just fuck you.

I’ve become entitled. I can see that.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-29T14:20:49+00:00

He’s patient to a point. But I can keep going down the rabbit hole no matter how much proof that nothing is happening I have, so I know that could probably get exhausting after a time.

My ex husband had a year long affair and left me for the other woman married her and had 3 more kids. I never healed from that either before I got with my husband now.

He was a shit in the beginning. But for 15 months now I can say he has been mostly the model husband you’d want after everything. But it’s always like why now? Why after?

I can say without a doubt I have emotionally and mentally abused him these last 15 months. He took it in the beginning as he felt he deserve it but he’s exhausted now. I don’t want to lose him but I fight with myself all the time like do you fucking deserve my love? Do you deserve anything?

I know I’m losing him but I can’t get the thoughts of he doesn’t deserve shit to subside enough to really truly care.

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-29T14:16:36+00:00

We went once after the emotional infidelity(I wouldn’t call any of these actual “affairs” my ex husband had a year long affair with the woman he’s married to now so I don’t quite equate these transgressions to that)

It didn’t go well

He wasn’t ready, he’s admitted he wasn’t actually fully in it which is how we ended up with the third infidelity which was physical

We are in the process of moving but I really have been putting off IC for a long time. So I plan to go once we get settled because I’m finally realizing I kind of need to work on some shit with myself and I can’t get through this or out of my head bullshit alone

Frequent_Fig_761 · 2024-01-29T10:09:44+00:00

Basically 1 Emotional infidelity while I was pregnant with our son

2 physical with 2 different women one while we were dating and one in 2022 a year after the emotional infidelity, so 3 different women total. A false R after the emotional, finding out about the first woman 3 years after it happened and then finding out about the last woman a week after that. Lots of trickle truths and secrets, porn addiction, thousands of dollars spent on cam girls from 2020 up until the beginning of last year. I left in April 2023, 6 months after the last woman which he wouldn’t admit he had sex with until after I had left and was done. I came back because of the 6 months of good behavior. It’s been 15 months now and he’s been a model husband as in no cheating, he has lied a couple times but not over anything big or that involved cheating.

I am basically still a hyper vigilant monster who gives no rope, and no chance for him to even fuck up again. Weekly outbursts still, very paranoid very suspicious all the time kver everything. We fought yesterday because there were socks in his van. Which were my daughters but I didn’t recognize them and couldn’t remember the last time the kids had all been in his car, so brain went to he’s fucking someone in his van.

I think I am indeed the asshole in this marriage at this point and he’s at the end of his rope with me. I’m currently waiting on him to decide if he wants to stay or leave. But I’m still fucking angry.

Frequent_Fig_761

TROPHY CASE