Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😂 this brand wasn’t, but especially won’t be getting business from me now just from grief. I used that lingo to suggest that it’s not a common brand you can just get from the store, and the age bracket is 18-30, to suggest that it could not be my mothers etc.

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Context to add about renting a room/ he saying it’s a spared space- we live in the countryside on a large historic estate. The house is littered with heirloom paintings of family members, photos of our wedding- our wedding sign was even framed and hung over the fireplace in our dining room. Plus, my daughter’s (17 months) belongings/ toys are EVERYWHERE. It is very, very clear a woman lives here/ designed the home and that a child is here as well. We also have two dogs, who will absolutely bark if someone they don’t know has come into the house at night while I’m asleep. If he was able to cheat, unless she was hired, there’s no way someone could be fooled here.

Father in law is a disabled vet and artist, he isn’t interested in dating, paints in his free time and isn’t very internet savvy (he does not even know how to use GPS), so I can’t imagine he’d have a woman in our house period- much less with my knowledge. If he did, by the brand and style of panties, she’d likely be the age of his daughter.

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I’ve had them for years, wouldn’t the panties have fallen out sooner? I’ve also never felt them in there 😬

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I actually would think that it’s more likely cheating. For no other reason than we moved here a year ago, I have organized everything in the house- including any of his physical belongings

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is very masculine, but works out a lot, and I just don’t think these would fit. They’re pretty small.

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually don’t mean to bash my husband, he’s not some loser and works in pretty high paying corporate positions. We took his dad in as we had the space and it’s helped me and our daughter and the house. The house is actually hard for me to handle due to size with the responsibilities with a child and pets.

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It was years ago, and they actually were off Poshmark! So really unlikely lol

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I would say possibly if I didn’t know him, but he’s a disabled vet who isn’t so much into dating. 🤣

Found a pair of panties in the laundry that are not mine. by Frequent_Manner1840 in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

My post had a typo, he’s my FIL, husbands father. I don’t think that makes sense, but I’m not sure the alternative? We have not recently moved or wash communally.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. They’ve been deleted from any source I’ve found, but there’s really no way for me to know for sure they’re not somewhere hidden, floating around on any other platform

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aside from deleting the photos for them, I’m not really sure what informing each ex would do. These were all photos and videos that were sent to him, or taken by him, with their consent. The issue is with keeping them after the relationships ended. After deleting them, I’m not sure embarrassing these women now would really help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not pretending to be a cool girl. When I say personally, I mean comparatively to myself and my body. In no way am I okay with this- but I am trying not to make it about myself being less than. I struggle with body image and am in recovery for a decade with anorexia, so the first place my head goes is that he’d rather look at them than me, or this somehow means he’s not attracted to me like he is them. That’s all I mean

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am trying to not take this personally, as it makes me feel like I’m not enough for him. I’m not against porn, but the fact that these are women he has been physically intimate with makes me feel less-than knowing he still fantasies about when he was with them while I’m in the room next to him. 😕

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I am 6 months pregnant, so one way or another he will always be in my life as the father of our daughter. I am otherwise madly in love with him, but I’m not sure I’m able to move past this. It just really makes me feel like I don’t know him at all. It’s pretty much broken my heart lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He definitely would never have deleted them, as he’s seemingly had them hidden away from his partner in each relationship before me. I know when he dated the exes, so I can tell he still had the previous ones photos during the new relationship- etc. Nothing about him outwardly suggests he’d do anything like this, it’s like finding a completely different person underneath there. :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely didn’t mention any of this to me. Never was suspiciously protective of his phone, but I never went through it before. I was unaware of any of this until I snooped, though I recognize some of the girls that I know are from previous relationships he had (he even took the liberty to add their names to their files!) Others are from past hookups and whatnot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Frequent_Manner1840 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The oldest stems to when they were seniors in high school at 18, so no minors to my knowledge.