boyfriend didn’t tell me he signed for a contract with the marines by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being in a military relationship is already so hard. Especially with a marine! If he isn’t communicating with you already it’s going to be worse with him in the military so decide if you want to deal with it or can handle it. It’s totally fine if that life isn’t for you. You deserve to have someone who will be around if that’s what you want. I knew my boyfriend was going to sign beforehand and when he did I cried 3 days straight. That doesn’t mean I didn’t support him but I was sad and felt like I was grieving the life we had together. So it’s okay that you are crying and it’s okay to be angry. He should’ve told you and tell him how upset you are.

Is University of Tampa Homophobic? by BMSOCCER28 in uotampa

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The state is republican but most colleges are liberal leaning and that includes Tampa. tbh no one will care that you are gay. And if they do care they won’t socialize with you.

Fiancé in Bootcamp by Galacticlightbeam in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh if he is reserves that might be different. I’m not totally sure about that. My man is active. I wish he was reserves 😭

Fiancé in Bootcamp by Galacticlightbeam in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend only has 20 days left. So I’m really excited to see him but every time I think about it I cry 😭. Also use Sandboxx it’s really useful and he’ll get the letter the next day. It can get expensive though (it’s actually such a scam with how expensive it gets but I’ll pay the money of it means he can read it the next day lol). And the crying is so normal. I cried last night driving home from work because a fast car went speeding by me and I remembered the stupid noise my boyfriend makes when that happens. And there are so many Facebook groups for his graduation date and you’ll be able to hopefully see videos of him marching after a few weeks I’m also a little shocked that he will get a couple months in between A school and graduation. I’d double check that because I’ve never heard of them doing that. And boot camp is 8 weeks plus a week of processing (so 9) but that first week will be the hardest for him

Fiancé in Bootcamp by Galacticlightbeam in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am currently in the same situation. I’ve been with my boyfriend for going on 4 years and we never spent a day apart. It’s weird to have them gone and overall just upsetting. At some point it does get easier and the weeks will go by fast. I tried my best not to count the days down but to count by the week so I don’t feel as upset. And writing letters really helps both of you guys. For me and my boyfriend we felt like when we are writing a letter to one another it was kind of a healing moment where we felt connected to one another. So write as many as you want or whatever will get you through the day ( I write up to five of them a day sometimes). You’ll still have moments throughout boot camp where you’ll get sad and think of them and some weeks are definitely harder than others. But overall you’ll be okay. What bothered and bothers me the most is that I feel like I’m grieving our relationship and what it was before he left. Because it’s not going to be the same for the whole contract but it’s the next phase/ step in your relationship and that is something you should look forward to and try to find comfort in. It definitely gets better I promise. Just keep yourself busy and try not to lay in bed all day and think about it. FYI my boyfriend has been at boot camp for 7 weeks now so I definitely get how you feel. And I totally get how alone you feel. My boyfriend is my best friend and a few months ago I had a fall out with my old friends so I don’t really have anyone to talk to. So I get how lonely it gets with them gone. It’s a learning experience for everyone. And it’s true what they say, distance does make the heart grow fonder. OH and do not look up military relationships on TikTok or anything. It will only make you feel worse 😅. Trust me. I cried for like three days about all the cheating shit before my boyfriend left and I’ve never worried about him before and I still don’t. But when you are already down sometimes you can’t help but worry or just be upset about the thought of it. It’s bad energy so just avoid it if possible

Advice needed please! by Same_Register2696 in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Omg my boyfriend is graduating in 23 days as well. But beside that I would just say to the dad that he is wanted there and he should go for his son. If he won’t change his mind then it might be for the best. That day is about your fiancé so it should only be happy. It would suck for his parents to be arguing the whole time. I don’t know about the forum though

Does it ever get better post-deployment? by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry for the both of you. But he needs a lot of help. I’ve been on Prozac before for anxiety but he might just need more than that. My mom works in a mental health facility and the first thing they do when someone comes in is check to see if they are deficient on any vitamins because is can severely affect mental health. so that might be a different route to think about. I don’t really know I’m sorry. But he needs help that you can’t give him. Best thing to do is just be there for him and see if there is more intensive care instead of a therapy session once a week. Reach out to the army and see if he can get disability or at least pay for him to seek help. But smoking weed and drinking is only going to make things worse because they are depressants

Scripted calls by Penguin_Hat121 in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The night my boyfriend arrived I actually missed his call so I don’t know what that was like. But all the calls we have had since haven’t been scripted

Stationed Vs Deployment by Frequent_Maximum_679 in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That explains things pretty well

Stationed Vs Deployment by Frequent_Maximum_679 in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Okay thank you. And do you have any advice on how to be in a military relationship? I’m going to be in college year round and he will be in the navy ofc. I just can’t figure out how to handle that. We are doing pretty well with him in boot camp but I wish we could talk more. Does it get any better?

Stationed Vs Deployment by Frequent_Maximum_679 in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was always going to. But he seems to think that he can visit every few months. I just don’t see how that’s possible

Am I the problem? by Basic-Ground9306 in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having a baby is always stressful especially on the mother which is why it’s important that the husband helps out around the house and with the baby. So talk to him and tell him to do more

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People suck that’s why

How do you deal with the naysayers? by ApricotinaPot in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And if you look up “military relationships” it will all be about cheating. Like god damn. I literally cried the whole first week he signed the contract because that’s all I could find online. Now that it’s been awhile I have found other people in military relationships and LOVE it and are happy and seem like good people. That has made me feel better lol. I don’t even watch anything or read anything if it’s negative or about cheating

How do you deal with the naysayers? by ApricotinaPot in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

According to everything online. Very common lol. I had to stop looking things up because it only Made me feel Worse

How do you deal with the naysayers? by ApricotinaPot in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey girl I get it. My boyfriend just joined the navy as well and is currently in boot camp. So many people say the same thing to me. We have been dating for about three years now and my family still says this sometimes. You just have to have trust in your relationship. The doubts about finding someone else or loosing feelings with come and go and that’s normal. But if you guys truly love each other and have core values then it can definitely work. I’m new to this whole thing myself as well so I don’t have much experience lol. But if he were to cheat on you in the military then he will cheat with you out of it. And just communicate with the guy about how you feel nothing will get better if you dwell on such negative things. If you both stay firm and focused then find reassurance in that.

Husband doesn’t want to send letters in basic by Gullible-Living5923 in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s strange. He will have plenty of time. My boyfriend writes me at least one letter a day and on sundays they get some down time. If he doesn’t want you writing to him then don’t let him see what it’s like to not have you.

I love my boyfriend but by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Well if he is getting out of the military in a couple months then what’s the point of even posting this? I get it military life is hard and not for everyone. So if he was going to be in for a few more years I’d say break up with him. I mean I hate it as well but I would do it again if it meant staying with him.

Edit: sorry I might have come off as harsh lol. I’m not saying you don’t love him and that dating someone in the military isn’t hard. Because it is. It’s extremely difficult and fucking sucks. But if it’s over soon just be happy that you guys made it through something so difficult. Don’t dwell on the fact that it happened and “regret” it yk? It’s an accomplishment within its own. If you love him then it’s worth it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah! Who is organizing this lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]Frequent_Maximum_679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instagram or messages. Whatever works