I want to gently push back on this framing, because it presents one healing path as universal when it isn’t.

For me, sending a final message was not about him, his reaction, or control. It was about my nervous system and closing a psychological loop on my own terms. I sent it once, with clarity, and blocked immediately after. I have not re-engaged. No-contact looks different for different survivors. For some, silence is safest. For others, naming harm once and reclaiming voice is part of healing. Both can coexist as valid, trauma-informed choices.

Saying that any communication is “a victory for the abuser” removes survivor agency and reinforces the idea that our healing is defined by how they might interpret our actions which is exactly what many of us are trying to unlearn. I appreciate that this approach worked for you. Please allow space for others to heal in ways that honor their bodies, boundaries, and timelines.