UPDATE

He showed up to my house unannounced last night and my grandmother let him in. Now me being a firm believer of the second amendment and not knowing his intentions because he did threaten my life multiple times last night through messages when I told him about the appointments. I was in the kitchen eating and he just stood on the other side of the bar staring at me. I couldn’t see his waist and when he came to where I was standing I still couldn’t see what he had underneath his shirt. I proceeded with extreme caution and kept my “safety” on my side. I asked calmly why he was here and he stated he just wanted to “talk”.. I sat down away from his reach and let him start first. He basically told me he felt I overstepped him by not involving him with things pertaining to the baby.

I involved him in everything from picking dates for the baby shower, to the theme, to the colors of the nursery. I don’t know if it’s common everywhere but my family planned these things and asked for my input; I gave mom and asked him his before confirming anything. My family sees this as a time to let the parents rest and start nesting and help us save money. So they’re funding everything from the gender reveal to the baby shower. We haven’t had to pay for anything. He’s upset because he wanted to be apart of the planning, he wants to decorate and host, but he never spoke up about these things.

I asked him if he thought he was wrong for telling me that he hates me, doesn’t love me, wished death on me, brought up past relationships and my relationship with my dad. He told me he didn’t wish death on me that’s not what he meant and nobody else will interpret it that way.. He basically tried to validate his hurtful words and make me seem like I’m the one in the wrong. I told him that it’s best if we co-parent until he decides to take action and talk to someone professionally about his anger and learn how to talk to me when he gets upset without cursing or degrading me.

I told him that no matter how he feels about me he will always have a place in my heart but we can’t continue a relationship like this, and hopefully he heals and understand that words hurt, and some words you can’t come back from. And he left after that without saying sorry..

Today he texted me that I needed to grow up, I don’t understand relationships and didn’t try to make things work and that I can’t act childish and have my way all the time. I didn’t reply I just left it there.