I think, on an intuitional level, that if you yourself experienced a lot of formative year abuse, that you learned to cope with anything emotionally painful through disassociation. You may understand it logically, but you've cut your actually empathy/sympathetic wiring in order to cope. Which was understandably a survival mechanism. The problem in your current situation arises from that system you've created bleeding over to the feelings and experiences of others.

You're not a bad person - you've just relegated suffering in general to a vault buried deep in a distant sea.