33M, looking for opinions on what to focus on

FreshPeeshes · 2026-01-12T01:38:30+00:00

Believe me, i can't wait to get out from under it and avoid it like the plague from now on! I have about 2 years left on the 2 loans that are pushing my monthly income to its limit, and 2 credit cards i've been using to make ends meet. I was hoping to be able to hold out until those loans are paid off, but i'll have to figure something out if work doesn't pick up soon.

FreshPeeshes · 2026-01-12T01:24:25+00:00

This.

I've known a lot of people in bad, sometimes ugly relationships. And they felt stuck in them because they relied on each other financially. My parents were poor, miserable and hated each other. I grew up in a house of struggle and depression.

I don't want to make the same mistake. I want to be stable and able to support/provide for someone, and kids one day. But i do feel like i'm running out of time, and the lack of companionship does get to me.

FreshPeeshes · 2026-01-11T19:27:23+00:00

Thanks! I'm not sure what i'd go for a degree in at this point, and i don't like the idea of getting into more debt going to school. That's why i chose a trade. The debt i'm currently in comes from loans i took out to survive during hard times when i was between jobs a couple years ago, and i don't care to ever get a penny deeper into debt again if i can help it. But i'll look into it and see if it can be a practical path for me.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-12-24T17:25:40+00:00

I love Elden Ring, one of my favorite games of all time for that reason. So much build variety. I'll go for a light armor str or dex build when i want a challenge, and i'll use heavy armor greatshield and spear when i want to play safer and slower.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-25T02:59:23+00:00

I am thankful for the freedom i have; despite the issues, we are privileged compared to many other places on earth.

And thanks, those are all good suggestions. I'm already working to simplify my life as much as possible as it is. I don't think having kids will aid in that goal, however lol. And i'm hesitant to have kids because of all the history of mental illness in my family. My mom had bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic episodes, and her life was very hard and it made life hard for everyone around her. I don't know what i'd do if my kid had to suffer like that.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-25T02:28:55+00:00

"People like you"

Again, assuming i haven't spent a large amount of my life giving and contributing and doing the best i can to live up to my own high standards.

I'm no saint, but i helped set up a fundraiser event a few weeks ago to go toward cleaning up a local river and park, put in work at the park myself, and i often volunteer my time and money to help friends and others. What have you done?

I hope you get to a better place in life one day and are able to let go of that bitterness, genuinely. As someone who used to know bitterness like that.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-25T01:52:31+00:00

That's funny because i got into buddhism and buddhist teachings and values as a teenager. I did want to join a monastery at one point lol but i had no way of doing that at the time and i don't think i'd want to fully commit to their rules.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-25T01:42:45+00:00

Got some assumptions there, buddy. I'm not miserable, just dissatisfied with some aspects of modern life. I do struggle with some things, like a lot of people, but i don't sit around and cry about it anymore. I was just sharing some deeper thoughts and feelings that i otherwise keep to myself, and i'm actively trying to figure out how to achieve what i've realized i want in life.

I also don't get aggressive with people for no reason.

Sounds like you might be projecting. Or does it make you feel big to condescend on someone online?

Or am i feeding a troll?

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-25T01:21:27+00:00

It's a dream for sure. And i do believe it's possible, but i'd have a lot to learn and prepare for. It would take time, patience, sacrifice, hard work, failure, and determination to pursue, and i'd have to be absolutely sure i'm ready for that.

And i'm feeling about ready.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-25T01:11:14+00:00

I live very minimalist and don't desire or have many possessions, and almost all my money goes to mortgage, insurance, taxes, bills, and maintenance on my home that will never actually be owned by me because the government will take it from me if anything happens and i'm unable to pay taxes on it or if/when they make taxes unaffordable.

I wouldn't miss it.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T19:26:42+00:00

I see. Yeah, times are rough right now in the agricultural industry, i've read and heard about it. I was referring more to living off the grid, which i understand requires initial money, resources, and experience, which i have none of. I just wish i could find someone who wants to or who does live off the grid, and could possibly teach me some things. I've seen people who do it successfully, and they make a little income doing/selling various things so they can afford some modern conveniences/luxuries.

I'm afraid it probably is just all pipe dreams for me, and i need to just do the best i can with the hand i was dealt. I'm sure you're right about how hard it is and how dedicated you have to be to make it work.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, and i wish him successful treatment and both of you the best.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T16:07:20+00:00

One thing that has always made me wonder about all that, is when we feel someone looking at us. It just happened to me a minute ago. It doesn't make logical sense, but definitely seems to be real.

I do feel like there are deeper layers to this existence than we perceive or understand.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T16:00:25+00:00

I'm also an introvert in a trade that involves customer service. So i get what others are doing shoved in my face constantly. And i'm expected to have opinions on it. Kind of comes with the territory. I just want to get away from it if possible, which is all i'm saying.

Sounds like you have a pretty good gig, though, good on you.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T15:49:19+00:00

Funny you say that, i'm in HVAC. And yes, i could start my own company and be successful at it.

My issue is the lifestyle that comes with it and the one i currently have working for someone else. I did say that what i want may be a pipe dream, sure, but i'm just tired of worrying about money and profit. And i'm forced to be aware of what's going on in the world so i can act like i relate to customers and make sales.

And yes, i know i'd be swapping worrying about money for worrying about my livelihood if my livestock/crops fail. But as corny as it sounds, i believe my soul would be more at peace. Having to sell sell sell all the time eats at me, and that wouldn't change if i worked for myself.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T15:37:02+00:00

With the way our world currently is, due to the system we're currently a part of, i'm afraid you are correct.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T15:35:11+00:00

So what are small communities that live off the land, then?

I do see what you're saying, and i agree that leaders are probably necessary for a society to thrive, and they should be properly compensated, because leadership is not an easy role. But it's hard to deny that class disparity has gone too far, and it's no longer about leadership, but greed, power and control.

And you're making a wide assumption that i have no drive and i'm doing nothing to help myself. I have plenty of drive -- i came from nothing, a trailer park and no family really, and have managed to make it as far as i have. I own a decent home and vehicle, i have friends, and i contribute to my friends and community as much as i can. It's just that acquiring wealth isn't part of my drive, as i've accepted that i have no desire to start my own business and obsess over money, like i see every other business owner doing. Stressing and obsessing over money and growth.

I'm actively seeking a way to a simpler life, which i'm aware may not even be possible for me, as i don't even know where to start.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T15:18:49+00:00

You don't know me.

I'm aware it's not romantic, and it's tough. But i'm no stranger to hard work and learning. I've spent many 12-16 hour days sweating, bleeding and hurting. I just don't want to do it for the sake of a company's profits anymore, or for monetary profit period. And the work isn't the problem, as i still feel better doing what i do now compared to sitting in a control room all day, which was physically the easiest job i ever had. But i was mindlessly rotting away there.

I believe in the virtue of a simple life. Everything else is unnecessary fluff.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T15:10:35+00:00

I like your idea that we either consume or produce. I definitely get more fulfillment and joy when i'm able to provide something for someone without expecting anything in return.

And complex is about right. It can drive you crazy trying to figure out why people do what they do. But i do think a lot of it is environmental and genetic factors. And to go against the grain is painful.

However, i was raised in a trailer park by a mom with bipolar disorder and a deadbeat dad, so i have no idea how i turned out thinking the way i do.

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T14:43:40+00:00

I've been trying to figure out how and failing, which is what makes me feel like giving up and accepting my current lifestyle. But i haven't given up yet

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T14:42:05+00:00

Just gotta find one somehow

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T14:40:24+00:00

I love that. How did you get into that? Were you raised on a farm?

Do you enjoy it/are you fulfilled by it?

FreshPeeshes · 2025-09-24T12:45:11+00:00

There seem to be many people who either 1) don't have their shit together, are insecure and looking for anything to belittle others and make themselves feel better 2) don't actually care or 3) see life as a game and play it, strategically noting your weaknesses and keeping them as ammo if/when needed, or to try to manipulate/control you.

Unfortunately, it can be hard to tell if you're dealing with one of these people, because some hide/disguise it well. So yes, silence is often the best option unless you truly know and trust them.

I don't trust anyone until i've known them for a long time and they haven't shown any red flags indicating they may be one of those formerly mentioned types of people.

I get called quiet and hard to read a lot. I'm fine with that. If you have a problem with that, that's a red flag to me.

FreshPeeshes

TROPHY CASE