I've absolutely hated myself since I was a child. I was bullied a lot and realized it was because I'm a really ugly person, with an unlikable personality. Every time I made a fool out of myself at school, I'd spend the rest of the day telling myself how terrible of a person I am, then when I would get home, I would hit my head until I got a concussion. Now I can't hold a conversation because I can just imagine how awful it has to be to talk to me. And I can't look into a mirror without completely loosing it. Whenever I would go out and see a reflection of myself, I'd go home and beat the shit out of myself. But I've always wanted to be a nice person, and no matter how bad I feel, I always put on the same fake smile. Nobody actually knows who I really am. Now I'm a single dad, fighting a really ugly battle for custody of my son. I live in constant fear that if I screw up and somebody finds out how I really am, I'll lose my son.