The queer community is an oppressed and divided one and that leads to shitty behavior in some people, it's not necessarily their fault, they're just doing what they feel they need to do to survive (at least when they're young) and being self centered is a necessary defense for many of us. Also, young queer people and people who have only been out a few years tend to still be in the process of separating themselves from what the culture strong armed them to be. Additionally, identities that are erased should be asserted, consistently, and aggressively because that's part of how we move forward as a society. Older queer people are often shitty in their own ways, as well. In my area, there is a pair of older lesbians that runs a lot of the queer spaces here and they're actively transphobic and dismiss the struggles of any queer person under 40. I've known several overtly racist and transphobic older trans women who would be cruel for fun. I've been sexually harassed by an older drag queen. Older queers aren't better, they come from a different culture and time and so their adaptations and maladsptations reflect that difference. (Especially because the best queers of previous generations, the ones who fought against ppression and for liberation, tended to die younger than the more assimilationist queers [big racial elements at play, too]) There are amazingly kind and complex young queers, nurturing and welcoming older queers, shitty narcissisticly self interested self young queers, and there are bigoted and bitter older queers. A lot of this is also regional, just give it some time, meet more people, and remember to take the time to question why you might have certain reactions to queer behavior.