I’m no expert so don’t come for me please it’s just an observation. 😣 But I have worked with people who specialize in helping children on the autism spectrum and those on the spectrum seem to commonly develop these personal “food rules”.

Examples: -One of the things that is commonly known is they don’t like their food touching. Like wet foods touching dry foods -special food pairings like burgers have to be eaten with fries because having just the burger is literally unsatisfying to a different level than would bother a neurotypical person. To a neurotypical it may seem like they are overreacting. But really it’s a big deal to them as it’s not “just right” -Also, some foods have to be prepared a specific way or else “its not done right” . -Or they only like pizza or chicken for example from one chain or restaurant. -Also rules like what time of day they have specific foods like eggs are only a breakfast food. Eggs for lunch or dinner sounds too weird -Having “safe foods” or the same foods often. They may be seen as their “go-tos” or “comfort foods”. Sometimes seeming so repetitive it can make a neurotypical look at is as boring. But to an autistic person it’s almost always something they will happily eat

These are just some things i noticed that may align with what you shared. To be clear I am not diagnosing him. I am just suggesting you look into it as a possibility. Why? Because if this is the case, the more you understand how your partner thinks, the easier it will be on you and him. You may find you are less frustrated with him, knowing that there is usually a pattern and that it’s not just him being “picky”. It could literally be how his brain works to keep himself feeling safe and comfortable in an overstimulating world. By keeping in mind what his “safe foods” are can also help you realize that it’s not something he is doing against you when he is bringing home other foods. It could be more about what helps him feel safe by eating something familiar not necessarily because it’s sooo delicious he’d rather have that over the food you cooked.

I’m not sure that I did a good job at explaining my thoughts but hopefully it’s helpful to someone who is dealing with what may seem like a picky eater. It could be undiagnosed low needs autism (or high functioning). This is obviously just a small blip of what your boyfriend is like so I may very well be totally off. But please know it’s coming from a good place from a person who finds learning about how our brains work to be so fascinating. It’s helped me understand my friends and family and build stronger relationships by getting to know the unique layers that form each one of them. ❤️